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Men I Attract

 
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BeanieBabiesMommy View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jan 20 2014 at 10:10am
Sometimes i wonder if their is a sign on my forehead that says
 
" calling all jail birds and tricks "
 
ALL my life, all Ive ever had as far as men approach me is men old enough to be my father that obviously do not want a relationship they just wanna be my damn sugar daddy or i meet the really young immature guys that look good but aint got sh*t to offer but their paynus cause they stay at home with their moms or even better home less.
 
ive never been attracted to either or but those are the only guys that flock my way.
 
I found a white guy with a job and car and we got into one arugment and he threw in my face that I was a pathetic miserable single mom :-(
 
ive only come across that white guy in the past 15 months and that didnt last long. all the older men and younger ones I let pass me on by but other than that guys dont speak to me unless their OLD AS or aint got sh*t ot offer but their dick.
 
I dont get it. is it cause Im heavier set?
or with child?
 
maybe thats why some single moms will settle for anything cause men dont come around as often so when ONE finally does come they hop on and hold on for dear life.
 
I wonder what it is that i am doing to attract these guys,
and why i cant find a decent guy.
 
any advice questions or comments?
 
please I am not being thirsty, I just was wondering to myself why i always see other women have opportunities to find men worth dating and me? jusst the old scally wags and aint sh*t dudes
OuchOuch why me? why cant I meet a guy that actually finished high school and has a degree or even a guy that has a place to stay! damn
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BeanieBabiesMommy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeanieBabiesMommy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 22 2014 at 10:47am
I guess Im the only one having a hard time coming across a decent man Dead
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NARSAddict View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote NARSAddict Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 9:08am
Maybe it is because you project that low self esteem that those kinds of men seem to pick up on that. Not saying you are not worthy but I have a feeling that you harbor those low self esteem.  Don't beat yourself up and work on making yourself feel better.  You are lovable and worthy of love.  I hope more people will chime in.  Anyways you shouldn't feel that you have a child that you deserve less.  Or that you are overweight that you deserve less.
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 8:56pm
I agree with Narsa... you attract low life men because you don't esteem yourself high.
Read the things that you wrote "I am heavy set" "I have a child" - so what? And what are you going to do about that?
If you don't like being "heavy", it is time to change that. You can't change having a child, so you need to focus on yourself right now, not on men.

The fact that you never attracted a man who finished high school is really sad, and the only way to change this is by changing yourself and your mindset. You need to know that you deserver better (and your child too, after all, the men you date will be around your child and he needs a man that will set a positive example).

You said that the white guy had a car and a job... like because of those two things, it set him apart from the homeless, jobless men you usually attract. Having a job and a car is not elite status, and from that I understood that you have set the bar really low.

Focus on yourself first. Take a break from dating and men for a year. I have done that once after I realized that I needed to work on myself. It kinda sucks to force yourself to be single, but it is a great time to focus on yourself, learn about yourself and most important of all, NURTURE yourself.
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miraclebaby_91 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote miraclebaby_91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 4:27pm
Have u tried taking actions towards finding a decent man by becoming friends or at least cool with only men that are your type? I say this cuz u can wish and pray for a decent man all u want but if you're not doing anything different than what u been doin to improve the situation then u will keep being single and will keep attracting the type of men u don't like. Are u getting out the house to attend a social setting(like skating, shopping at a mall, joining a club or group that have the type of men u want in it, etc) where u can possibly meet a decent man) at least once a week? Do you give decent men steady eye contact and smile with your eyes at them? Do u give decent men a nice smile if u see them looking atu after u maintain eye contact with them to let them know that u like what u see and are approachable? How is your body language around men? Most of communication is projected nonverbally through body language. Do I slouch your shoulders and hold your head down around men? Or do u hold your back straight and keep your head up high with your chest slightly poked out? These are some questions u need to answer to yourself. U don't have to tell me the answers but YOU DO need to answer these questions to yourself as honestly as possible without sugarcoating the answer to yourself. Also I would recommend that u work on your obvious low self esteem and start talking positive to and about yourself. If u don't like your weight, do something about it because men(and women) can sense when u have low self esteem. Feel free to PM anytime for advice and words of encouragement regarding anything u wanna vent on and find a solution to.
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khivey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2014 at 6:38pm
You can turn those dudes down and also put yourself in positions to meet the kind of men you want to attract. 

Learn how to be with and love yourself and then you will emerge a new woman and attract better things, just know the difference. 
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Marcelo22 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Marcelo22 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 30 2014 at 5:45am
Get in shape and your self esteem will improve as well.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 18 2014 at 2:51am
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

You can turn those dudes down and also put yourself in positions to meet the kind of men you want to attract.


I agree - who said that because X and Y are hitting on you, that you gotta settle for one of them? A low life broke guy will hit on everyone, we all have been hit on by those dudes, but we choose to either be or not be with them.
Just say no next time. Let that be your mantra until you find a great guy.
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Beauty620 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 24 2014 at 8:27am
I myself deal with this same problem....size I don't think has anything to do with because I am sorta slim but thick in all the right places. It's always the damn old men that are like hounds like Ugggggh why me. And the younger guys indeed....And I honestly don't think even self esteem has anything to do with it because at one point I was so loving the skin I was in head held high as if I couldn't be touched....and still yet these same men approached me and it was like so annoying. I didn't settle tho.... I kept it moving.

I say just be patient and the right one will come along...may not be now, or later but it'll be in due time when god opens that door for the right one to come into your world. May be years from now, but for now just keep doing you boo. 

Good luck! Wink
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