I have been struggling with maturity. I am currently 25 years old and had some history of work and some college. But due to my schizophrenia I have not been able to work and go to school and I get food stamps and social security. Anyway, I've recently came up with an idea of being a more serious and mature person dabbling in more serious and mature things. Like reading a book instead of watching television, exercise instead of lying on the couch, playing cards and board games instead of video games, watching the news and soap operas instead of cartoons and music videos. I want to become a vegan and exercise and get in shape, and eating healthier instead of fast food. I want to be in a relationship and get married and have children and pets, live in a two story house, and have a career.
But when I listen to some r n b (and hip hop) songs it takes me to a beautiful wonderland and takes me back as a child and all of the wonderful and fun things I've done as a child. The use of imagination, creativity, and wonder, parties and sleep overs and just being in an all around better place. It makes me want to continue being young and having fun.
But when I see the workers at my group in their formal clothes and applying themselves to their jobs, it makes me want to be much more mature. It makes me want to wear dress clothes and glasses, listen to new age music, soap operas, and some classical music.
I'm confused between the two. Should I continue to be a young or should I upgrade to a more mature me?
Edited by Adrian - Apr 08 2014 at 11:54am