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Letting Go Of A Relationship (You Never Had)

 
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 4:56am
advice to the girls living a relationship inside their head:

don't continue watering a dead flower. move on.


he isn't sh!t and he wasn't special until you made him special (in your mind).


Edited by sexyandfamous - Jan 25 2014 at 4:57am
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Im_A_Diva View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Im_A_Diva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 10:19pm
Wow this thread is amazing
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 11:42pm
This thread is also useful to the girls who are in a relationship that they think is great, but they are constantly stressed or in tears.
The relationship is all in your head. Relationships are supposed to ENHANCE life, not to make you jealous, miserable, paranoid, or afraid.

Many girls will agree that some of their past relationships weren't great, but they couldn't see that at the time. And that's because once the feelings are gone, you realize how stressed out or unhappy you were. Take a minute to put your feelings for the guy aside and honestly ask yourself: is he treating me the way I deserve? Is he blaming me for being wrong with me? Is he loyal? Does he show that he loves me or is only words out of his mouth?

This was posted in the thread about abusive relationships; some girls think that they are not in an abusive relationship because the guy never hit them; but calling you names several times, making you feel afraid of saying something, breaking or hitting things when upset, are all signs of an unstable man.

It is better to be alone and taking care of yourself, than being in a relationship where you have to be careful about what you SAY to avoid hearing your man shouting.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 11 2014 at 1:06am
My additions to the above is .. don't wait until he actually hits you to realize you are being abused. A lot of women think as long as he is not physical ... then it is not abuse. Wrong. The mental things are just the PRECURSERS to the physical abuse ... it's coming so why stick around?

Usually a guy will kind of wear you down mentally with all the things mentioned above .. so that by the time he feels free enough to put his hands on you ... he knows you are not going anywhere and will tolerate that bad behavior as well. Maybe you will cry etc .. but if you will take him back and go on as usual.. well, now he knows he's GOT you.

So then later if you try to leave ... it will surely escalate to that incredible stuff you read about in the papers.

That's why I say - take your time. Do NOT GET sexual with him for months because once a woman has sex .. emotionally she becomes somewhat bound to the guy. If he ends up being a RAT .. she often stays around because in her mind - she's gotta make it work.

Whereas if she had never had sex with him ... her mind remains clear and if she discovered he is a rat .. she can just leave.

Anytime the guy pressures you to make everything FAST - like he's already FULLY in your life after a week or so - danger.

Lastly as indicated above .. once he starts doing little controlling , intimidating etc stuff ... dump him because it's just gonna get worse. Nice guys don't threat their women like that EVER.

People do show you who they are.. but if you are not willing to see it early on .. yes, you will end up a victim.

Edited by Printer_Ink - Mar 11 2014 at 1:10am
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AriesBabe09 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote AriesBabe09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 11 2014 at 1:14pm
Great advice in here I really hope those in abusive relationship take note. 
Unfortunately, I had to learn those things the hard way during my younger years. But its made me stronger, and wiser, and I know what to tell my daughter to watch out for(from first hand experience) so she won't make the mistakes I did. Sad thing is some women aren't as fortunate.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 18 2014 at 11:09pm
from a blog...


"NEVER want anyone to the point where you compromise your value. Weak bitches are understanding, Spartans make Brothas understand"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 28 2014 at 7:12pm
Spring/Summer is happening. Just a reminder.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 21 2014 at 10:21am
Found this in an old thread.... "letter from a player" which basically illustrates relationships that never existed:

A letter for the ladies from a playa
     
>
> Dear Beautiful Woman
>
> I just wanted you to know that even though you were
> priceless, I made you
> feel like you were only worth a dime.
> Not a dime, meaning a ten, or perfect package for
> the men,
> I mean a dime, like a broke, bankrupt soul, stolen
> destiny and heart running
> cold.
> I did this on purpose, but it did not start that
> way. I treated you like
> royalty, then I went in for the kill one day.
> Because to be a player is a science, not a cane and
> gangsta limp. Only your
> body`s not on the streets, it`s your mind that`s
> getting pimped.
> First I tell you that I love you, then I trick you
> into bed by promising you
> you`re the only one and get all tangled in your
> head.
> Then you`ll notice that I call less, but I have my
> excuses prewritten.You
> were once a confident Lion, now you' re a helpless
> little kitten.
> Since women are emotional, it is so easy to do. It`s
> been done since Adam
> and Eve, this playa sh*t isn`t nothing new.
> Then just as you are at your breaking point, I will
> call you and ask you out
> for a surprise.

> I`ll stand you up once again knowing that you will
> stay at home and cry.
> But then I`ll call and say I am sorry, that I was
> working really late.
> When, in fact, I was fvking the hell out of my
> latest dinner date.
> When you come by, there will be candles and some
> nice light music in the
> back.
> I let you answer my phone calls to make you feel
> like leader of the pack.

> I told my boy to call in succession, like a hacking
> cough, and after that, I
> slicked ya and turned the ringer off.
> My cell phone is pretty crafty because you never
> knew I had two. There is
> one number for Janet and Kim, and a different
> number, for you!
> Now by the time you have gotten frustrated, I have
> just enough to say,
> `Oh baby, be supportive, I promise it`ll get better
> some day.`
> So you continue to put up with me even though your
> heart is being robbed.

> I have stood you up3 more times, but I blame it on
> my job.
> You will not find any numbers, and my voicemail
> you`ll never figure out.
> Because the password is changed daily, that is what
> a playa is all about.
> I have covered all the bases, but I should have been
> warned.
> There is nothing more ferocious than a Woman that
> has been scorned.
> Yes I got your messages, and I heard you knocking at
> the door. But it would
> hurt you more to see the truth than to be ignored.
> You knew a girl was in my bed that night when you
> called, and you knew I was
> not at work, at the gym, or at the mall.
> And you knew that I was cheating, but you did not
> have any proof. And even
> if you did, you would still make an excuse.
> And the reason is so simple, because you love what
> you can`t have.

> There are guys that would treat you right, but at
> them, you scoff and laugh
> You knew I was not sh*t, when I walked up in the
> door. I promised you the
> world, and even so much more.
> But all I gave you were dozens of lies and plenty of
> reasons as to why. Many
> times, I wanted to tell you that you are too nice,
> so please leave my side.
> But the attention you gave was too good; you were at
> my beckon call. So call
> me a selfish bastard, I mastered how to make you
> fall.
> Now that I am retired from this type of boyish
> lifestyle, I have grown up,
> had some hard lessons, I am no longer on the prowl.
> But to all you lovely ladies, protect your hearts
> from this disgrace. I am
> finished with the game but another will take my
> place.
> There is a playa born every day, and 10 women who
> fall every hour. Please
> think with your mind, not your heart, so you can
> claim back your power.
> I suggest that you make me prove my self, and keep
> those gorgeous legs
> closed.
> Until I show you I am a goodman and not a thorny
> stem, with no rose.
> So now that you have been taught, I apologize for
> this bad news. But just as
> I retired, someone else, stepped in my shoes.
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 30 2014 at 3:27pm
just read this and found it good for those girls who are confused about a guy blowing up their phones when they ignore them, yet wondering why the guy goes cold out of nowhere:

" Your ego is telling you that you’re an A-, but the guy you like sees you as a C+, and that’s why you’re a grown woman still stuck in a placeholder relationship. So why would a man waste his time dealing with Ms. Average? Why would a man tell Ms. Average how much he loves her? Why would he eat Ms. Average’s ass? Why would he blow up Ms. Average’s phone when she tries to cut him off? Because even at average, you’re something to do. "

also this:

"These bottom b!tches won’t cut off a man they like, they will simply not call and wait for him to hit her first to apologize, and then toot their horn like, “See, I don’t run after no d!ck.” Really? How about in the two weeks it takes this dude to call you over to fvck him again, aka his form of apologizing, you haven’t done anything but think about him. You may not be actively pursuing him, but he owns your mind to the point where you can’t go out to party, go to work, or dream without him being the main thing on your mind. Again, this is a result of all your eggs being in his weak-ass basket. "Cry

Black Girls Are Easy


eta: one last one lol

"Fvck his personal problems and bullsh*t reasons. If you were to tell a man that you couldn’t be with him because you had to focus on your last year of college, he wouldn’t be like, “I understand,” and then follow you around like a puppy waiting for you to find time. He would pretend to understand, leave the door open for you to change your mind, and then go get at the next b!tch. Men aren’t understanding, we’re unapologetically selfish.

Edited by sexyandfamous - Jun 30 2014 at 4:03pm
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moarsauce View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote moarsauce Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 23 2014 at 2:44pm
great article!!
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