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Letting Go Of A Relationship (You Never Had)

 
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 12 2013 at 12:58am
You know, you are absolutely right! Clap My problem is/was that I was looking for someone to validate me; to make the doll feel good about herself. I was hoping to use this summer to really work on me -- away from distractions. I know that I'm in no position to give myself to anyone, whether it be in a purely sexual or "serious" relationship. Until I fix my issues, I feel that I will always face the same problems.

For me, I may feel bad ass, but being approached by the opposite sex really confirms whether or not I'm bad ass. I know that's terrible and being "bad ass" is a cover-up for my own insecurities. Again, I'm aware of my issues and know that I need to set aside time to really work on me ... from the inside out. 

Being called "cute" or "sexy" is unacceptable to me. It sounds so unauthentic. Not that some women aren't cute or sexy, but IMO the terms are purely physical. I want to be beautiful to someone.

I wanted more than this guy was willing to give. My expectations were way too high. I can't really blame him for anything, though I do feel that I was lead on and toyed with, because he never outright promised me anything. I need to stop being angry at him. While I believe he's a liar, in the end people can and will only do what you allow.

OK ... That's the end of my rant. I saw the books recommended. I'm going to stop by the library to see if they're available. I know "The Secret" videos are on YouTube, so I'll check those out.
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 12 2013 at 1:00am
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

If a guy says "sorry I forgot to text you back" or apologizes for the late reply, do I call him out on it or say it's okay and brush it off?

I don't want to be a doormat , but I don't want to be aggressive and overtly demanding.

I wouldn't call him out on it. He may have genuinely forgotten or gotten too consumed with something or other. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 12 2013 at 2:59am
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

If a guy says "sorry I forgot to text you back" or apologizes for the late reply, do I call him out on it or say it's okay and brush it off?

I don't want to be a doormat , but I don't want to be aggressive and overtly demanding.
 
Sorry, but really .. if a guy 'forgets to text you back' etc .. that means he's not into you. 
 
Forget about this guy and do not obsess over men.
 
Do NOT CALL MEN ... this is the surest way to TURN HIM OFF.
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Jess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 12 2013 at 12:02pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

If a guy says "sorry I forgot to text you back" or apologizes for the late reply, do I call him out on it or say it's okay and brush it off?

I don't want to be a doormat , but I don't want to be aggressive and overtly demanding.
 
Sorry, but really .. if a guy 'forgets to text you back' etc .. that means he's not into you. 
 
Forget about this guy and do not obsess over men.
 
Do NOT CALL MEN ... this is the surest way to TURN HIM OFF.
Don't worry.  I never called any guy...ever.  LOL.

I'm not interested in this guy.  It was my tutor that said that.

I think I need to PM you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 12 2013 at 3:28pm
PM me. Okay.Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote miraclebaby_91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 14 2013 at 10:21am
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

If a guy says "sorry I forgot to text you back" or apologizes for the late reply, do I call him out on it or say it's okay and brush it off?

I don't want to be a doormat , but I don't want to be aggressive and overtly demanding.

I would say call him out on it. People make time for what they want. It doesn't take long to text someone back and if he says that he on BS.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote miraclebaby_91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 14 2013 at 10:31am
Originally posted by dOLLish. dOLLish. wrote:

You know, you are absolutely right! Clap My problem is/was that I was looking for someone to validate me; to make the doll feel good about herself. I was hoping to use this summer to really work on me -- away from distractions. I know that I'm in no position to give myself to anyone, whether it be in a purely sexual or "serious" relationship. Until I fix my issues, I feel that I will always face the same problems.

For me, I may feel bad ass, but being approached by the opposite sex really confirms whether or not I'm bad ass. I know that's terrible and being "bad ass" is a cover-up for my own insecurities. Again, I'm aware of my issues and know that I need to set aside time to really work on me ... from the inside out. 

Being called "cute" or "sexy" is unacceptable to me. It sounds so unauthentic. Not that some women aren't cute or sexy, but IMO the terms are purely physical. I want to be beautiful to someone.

I wanted more than this guy was willing to give. My expectations were way too high. I can't really blame him for anything, though I do feel that I was lead on and toyed with, because he never outright promised me anything. I need to stop being angry at him. While I believe he's a liar, in the end people can and will only do what you allow.

OK ... That's the end of my rant. I saw the books recommended. I'm going to stop by the library to see if they're available. I know "The Secret" videos are on YouTube, so I'll check those out.

Yeah definitely check those books out from the library and definitely watch "The Secret" videos on Youtube. Also Idk if u have heard of a vision board(that's basically a board where u put all of the visions you want for yourself and in your life through pictures or drawings on a big board) but 
making a vision board of how u want your ideal self to be is a good idea as well. Also feel free to PM sometimes if u need some more advice otherwise I can keep answering your questions and concerns on here
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 14 2013 at 8:55pm
Originally posted by miraclebaby_91 miraclebaby_91 wrote:

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

If a guy says "sorry I forgot to text you back" or apologizes for the late reply, do I call him out on it or say it's okay and brush it off?

I don't want to be a doormat , but I don't want to be aggressive and overtly demanding.

I would say call him out on it. People make time for what they want. It doesn't take long to text someone back and if he says that he on BS.


noo...don't call anyone out on anything unless you are in a relationship with the person.
you cannot nag someone or confront someone about things when you are not dating them.
Like miraclebaby posted above, people make time for what they want. the fact that a guy didn't call or "forgot" already says everything. why confront the person? the  guy would only give some excuse to make you feel guilty for not believing them.

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fairyQueen092 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote fairyQueen092 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 14 2013 at 9:15pm
Originally posted by dOLLish. dOLLish. wrote:

I was hoping to use this summer to really work on me -- away from distractions. I know that I'm in no position to give myself to anyone, whether it be in a purely sexual or "serious" relationship. Until I fix my issues, I feel that I will always face the same problems


I need to do this... So hard for me

Edited by fairyQueen092 - Jun 14 2013 at 9:16pm
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Jess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2013 at 12:27am
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by miraclebaby_91 miraclebaby_91 wrote:

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

If a guy says "sorry I forgot to text you back" or apologizes for the late reply, do I call him out on it or say it's okay and brush it off?

I don't want to be a doormat , but I don't want to be aggressive and overtly demanding.

I would say call him out on it. People make time for what they want. It doesn't take long to text someone back and if he says that he on BS.


noo...don't call anyone out on anything unless you are in a relationship with the person.
you cannot nag someone or confront someone about things when you are not dating them.
Like miraclebaby posted above, people make time for what they want. the fact that a guy didn't call or "forgot" already says everything. why confront the person? the  guy would only give some excuse to make you feel guilty for not believing them.

Lol yeah.   I wouldnt confront them.  When someone shows you who they are believe them.


I know we aren't suppose to approach men.  I will never do that again.  I learned the hard way.  Thats why I made the threadLOL

However, what do I do if I never/rarely (like once every 2 years) get approached?  Cause I haven't been approached minus the guys that hit on everything with a heartbeat (the ayo mas).

Keep ignoring guys and wait for a guy with enough "whatever" to approach?
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