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Letting Go Of A Relationship (You Never Had)

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 18 2013 at 8:36pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Originally posted by Lyricale07 Lyricale07 wrote:

Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

 
Because those girls have CONFIDENCE in themselves.

Not always, a lot of these girls have been my friends and they have so many insecurities. I don't know if they're just good at hiding it from guys or what....
 
Yes! THEY ARE GOOD AT HIDING THIS FROM GUYS. What is your point?
 
Isn't that what we are talking about here? Guys? Hee hee!
 
All women have insecurities ... all women  - no matter how good they look on the cover of a magazine. All men are insecure too.
 
The thing is .. you have to learn how to keep those insecurities at bay until you establish a relationship which means that you TRUST that guy enough to let him in on your insecurities, issues and problems. If it's the real deal - he will be glad that you 'let him in' because this brings you closer and he starts to let you into HIS issues.
 
You may find out the finest guy you ever saw was shaking in his boots when he approached you because he thought that YOU were so fine and he was INSECURE  about talking to you. This is natural.
 
This is the beggining of a relationship. 

very true. 

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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 19 2013 at 1:53am
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

Do you believe straight guys and girls can be just friends?

Of course I believe it's possible. However, I do believe that there either was or will be a certain level of attraction. This doesn't mean that they have to act on it. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 19 2013 at 1:59am
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Originally posted by Lyricale07 Lyricale07 wrote:

Originally posted by dOLLish. dOLLish. wrote:

Maybe "right" wasn't the most appropriate word to use. I was really asking about the type of guy you generally go for. For instance, is he the asshole type - you know, the one that won't give you the type of relationship you want; the quiet and/or reserved type; the nice guy - the one that's usually friend-zoned because he's too "nice." I'm beginning to think that your problem is that you're attracted to the wrong type of guy - and we're all guilty of that. You say that you're attracted to guys that aren't really interested in (read: dating) black women. Maybe that's why you're either friend-zoned or a FWB Ouch (Just a thought).

Speaking from personal experience, once you start becoming more comfortable with yourself, more people will be drawn to you. The same words you use to describe yourself were once words I used to describe the person I thought I was. However, once I started to become more comfortable in my skin I (and others) began to see the person I really was.


I typically have liked the nerdy/skater types. Where I live I would say most guys don't like black girls though. And I don't restrict myself to just black guys either, it's just that guys in general here don't like black women unless they're mixed with something. From my experience the only guys who really like black girls are the so-called "conscious" guys (which was the guy I pursued for a year and a half) and the wannabe thugs/thug type guys who I have never been attracted to at all.



I don't know though, I gave up a long time ago.  Some people are just meant to always be alone and I'm one of them.
 
YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO BE ALONE!!!!! STOP THINKING LIKE THAT! This will damage your self-esteem!
 
Do not pursue men .. that will never work. You have to ATTRACT men ... that is your gender role.
 
dOLLish is right! Once you start being comfortable with yourself .. you will attract men. Of course, then you have to be SELECTIVE.. but you will attract men when they pick up that vib about you that says 'I know I am somebody'.
 
But first, you have to believe this yourself!
 

I have to agree with Printer_Ink

Have you ever heard of the power of positive thought? Essentially, you get what you project to the universe. If you tell yourself that you're going to be alone, that's exactly what you'll get. It may seem like that, but please try to look on the bright side. You, like many of us, are alone now, but that doesn't mean that 1) someone isn't out, just for you; and 2) that this is your destiny. God may be giving you this alone time to work on bettering yourself so that when that guy comes along you're ready to be in a relationship.

I don't want to come off as preachy. I'm in the same boat as you. However, thinking about how bad it is won't change it, won't bring people to me, and certainly won't help me feel good about myself. 

Hug
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 19 2013 at 2:05am
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Originally posted by Lyricale07 Lyricale07 wrote:

Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

 
Because those girls have CONFIDENCE in themselves.

Not always, a lot of these girls have been my friends and they have so many insecurities. I don't know if they're just good at hiding it from guys or what....
 
Yes! THEY ARE GOOD AT HIDING THIS FROM GUYS. What is your point?
 
Isn't that what we are talking about here? Guys? Hee hee!
 
All women have insecurities ... all women  - no matter how good they look on the cover of a magazine. All men are insecure too.
 
The thing is .. you have to learn how to keep those insecurities at bay until you establish a relationship which means that you TRUST that guy enough to let him in on your insecurities, issues and problems. If it's the real deal - he will be glad that you 'let him in' because this brings you closer and he starts to let you into HIS issues.
 
You may find out the finest guy you ever saw was shaking in his boots when he approached you because he thought that YOU were so fine and he was INSECURE  about talking to you. This is natural.
 
This is the beggining of a relationship. 

This is very true. I definitely wouldn't suggest laying all your insecurities on the table when you first meet someone. Take it from someone who practically did that, it doesn't help.

I would suggest working on addressing some of your issues/insecurities. There really isn't any point in carrying around extra ba ge and creating problems in a *new* relationship. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 24 2013 at 9:13pm
I was just a break in case of emergency girl. SMDH
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2013 at 6:30am
If he is not texting/calling you, he just isn't that into you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2013 at 1:49pm
Don't text him.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2013 at 3:28pm
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

If he is not texting/calling you, he just isn't that into you.

Or, he's texting you because you're "consistent" (meaning that you actually respond to his texts) Ermm


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2013 at 5:15pm
So he just texts you out of boredom?^^

Edited by Jess - May 27 2013 at 5:44pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 28 2013 at 11:41pm
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

So he just texts you out of boredom?^^

Basically Ouch

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