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Letting Go Of A Relationship (You Never Had)

 
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Jess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2013 at 8:24pm
The guy texted me back and asked me out to go to *insert place* on the same day. 

 I said "No, I have plans and you need to tell me in advance to ask me out."
*eye roll*
He can't be serious.  He needs to call me and ask me out properly ahead of time.  He needs to cut it out with this txting mess.

I want him to call me in the afternoon, sober, and ask me if I'm free.  I'm not going to drop everything to be with him.  I would die and roll around in my grave before I did that.
I'm starting school again so...new guys hopefully.
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 3:46am
Thanks Printer...we became an official couple this past week and everything is good.
Due to the history we had, I am keeping my feelings in check, but he shows, through actions and words, that he cares about me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 12 2013 at 11:38am
Hold it ... so you are 'couple' now? How did that happen .. so quick? Makes no sense.
Umm something ain't right about your stories.. but whatever .. again, it's your life.
 
****************
 
Maybe someone else can benifit from my free advice though - because I wish somebody would have told me all that stuff when I was young.
 
Would have saved me years of misery. Confused
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 13 2013 at 3:33am
Last time I posted on this thread was April 21st....we became a couple over 2 weeks after I posted here last. We talked and spent good times (and I don't mean sex) and then he made me his girlfriend. I did not pressure, nagged or threatened to dump him. I let it be but I was decided to stop seeing him sometime this month if I didn't get what I wanted. Of course I did not tell him that as well.
He likes me.
I get your point and the way we started wasn't the best, but if he gives any sign that he is an idiot playing with me or that he may be seeing someone else, I will dump him, no questions asked.
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Jess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 14 2013 at 2:24pm
I am going to get out of this cycle.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Lyricale07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 14 2013 at 10:16pm
This is a very interesting thread, and a lot of it applies to me. I'm glad (but sad also) to see that I'm not alone in this situation. Every guy I've ever been interested in has rejected me, either because i shared my feelings and they said they just wanted friendship (which was a lie) or because I'd suddenly see them with another girl. I've never had a guy like me at all, it's really depressing. I'm at the point now where I don't even talk to or look at men unless it's work-related or having to do with running errands (ex. buying groceries and talking to the cashier).

I've totally given up and come to the conclusion that I must not be pretty/good enough for anyone.

To make things worse, today I kept thinking about this guy I used to like in high school, today's his birthday. I haven't even spoken to him in 3 years and last time I saw him he was on a date; for a short time I thought maybe he was the one who got away. I try not to think about any men at all and pretend like I'm asexual, but it's hard.


Edited by Lyricale07 - May 14 2013 at 10:18pm
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Jess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 15 2013 at 8:35am
I actually am Grey-A.  I know I'm beautiful, smart, funny, and have a nice personality...I just haven't found the right guy yet.
The right guy is coming for me.  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 15 2013 at 8:55am
Originally posted by Lyricale07 Lyricale07 wrote:

This is a very interesting thread, and a lot of it applies to me. I'm glad (but sad also) to see that I'm not alone in this situation. Every guy I've ever been interested in has rejected me, either because i shared my feelings and they said they just wanted friendship (which was a lie) or because I'd suddenly see them with another girl. I've never had a guy like me at all, it's really depressing. I'm at the point now where I don't even talk to or look at men unless it's work-related or having to do with running errands (ex. buying groceries and talking to the cashier).

I've totally given up and come to the conclusion that I must not be pretty/good enough for anyone.

To make things worse, today I kept thinking about this guy I used to like in high school, today's his birthday. I haven't even spoken to him in 3 years and last time I saw him he was on a date; for a short time I thought maybe he was the one who got away. I try not to think about any men at all and pretend like I'm asexual, but it's hard.


awww.  Hug 

do guys approach you to ask you out? what is happening from there? are you putting too much too soon on the table? are you sleeping with them too quickly?

there maybe other things that you may not be aware of.

also, there is this book, " why men love bitches." and a member here, midna who made a thread of it attached the downloaded book on there. may be some good little tips to read. i gave it to a friend who needed help boosting confidence with men, and making them "work" for her time/attention.

ill see if i can find it if you are interested.



Edited by Spokenword - May 15 2013 at 8:56am
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 15 2013 at 10:18am
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

I actually am Grey-A.  I know I'm beautiful, smart, funny, and have a nice personality...I just haven't found the right guy yet.
The right guy is coming for me.  

Clap That is exactly how I am looking at it.  My "best friend" is out there, waiting patiently for me.
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 15 2013 at 10:32am
I have been trying to post in this thread for some time now, but I would always get the error message Cry 

I think this is a great post.  Very informative.

I am also guilty of holding on to relationships that a) I never had; and b) are unhealthy.  When I start "talking" to a guy, I create an ideal scenario in my mind.  (An ideal relationship, type scenario).  

Recently, I was talking to this one guy who seemed ideal.  He was educated, relatively respectful, and consistent.  Long story short: We stopped talking because I started developing deeper feelings and did not want to have a sexual relationship with someone I felt did not genuinely care for me.  You would think that once I cut him off I would remove him from my life.  I haven't Cry  I am always thinking about that "perfect" relationship I have created in my mind; holding on to something that will never happen.  I want to let go because it is unhealthy and frankly a little weird.  However, I do not know how.  It is easier said than done. 
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