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sexyandfamous 
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 Posted: Mar 10 2013 at 1:51pm |
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I actually never saw him with the girl: I was told by someone who had seen them together.
It was just a crush, I am not in love, so in one week I'll forget him unless he breaks up with her and comes after me.
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Printer_Ink
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Posted: Mar 11 2013 at 11:48am |
But ... don't count on it...  Don't hold a candle for a guy - any guy. Go out and date other guys - just for the practice, the fun and the exposure (that does not mean have sex with them though! Sleeping around will not get you into a decent relationship either.) Does this guy know that you like him or are interested in him (be honest with yourself!) because again, if he knows you like him and if he dumps that other girl and turns to you .. don't be available! And ... if you are indeed dating other guys ... you will not be available when or if he comes your way. So say NO .. and let him chase you. Remember - attractive girls that know they are attractive have enough self-esteem to shrug off such empty interest and move on. These girls are not mooning over some guy that is not available. Nooo. Again, being 'attractive' has very liitle to do with if you are actually 'pretty'. The prettiest girls in the world can be extremely insecure, clingy and lonely sometimes ending up with the ratfink kind of man. Then another girl that looks averge can attract a real guy. It is about how you feel about yourself. So if he dumps that girl one day and asks you out the next day and you go out with him .. it ain't gonna work out because .. he already know you kindif liked him and ...you were too easy to get.
Edited by Printer_Ink - Mar 11 2013 at 11:53am
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sexyandfamous
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Posted: Mar 11 2013 at 5:21pm |
Thanks for the advice Printer_Ink. I am already over the guy; took me only one weekend. I did hang out with a male this weekend, we kissed and had fun, no sex and I guess that upset him because he was cold with me today, but I don't care  I think my former crush was aware that I had a crush on him. Since I am not interested anymore, I dunno what I'll do if he does ask me out.
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Jess
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Posted: Mar 12 2013 at 6:45am |
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Yes you do. Printer_ink is shouting the truth. Eliminate from your mind.
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Printer_Ink
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Posted: Mar 12 2013 at 7:18am |
 sexyandfamous wrote:
Thanks for the advice Printer_Ink. I am already over the guy; took me only one weekend.
I did hang out with a male this weekend, we kissed and had fun, no sex and I guess that upset him because he was cold with me today, but I don't care
I think my former crush was aware that I had a crush on him. Since I am not interested anymore, I dunno what I'll do if he does ask me out.
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Good for you!!!! If no sex after knowing him for a weekend upsets him DUH .. there you go - you see that he's a nothing. You know he doesn't give a darn about you and would have used you for sex and moved on. If that former crush knew you liked him .. GAME OVER. Move on ... there is a nice guy out their that will chase you ... and will wait A LONG TIME to have sex because he wants you. 
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sexyandfamous
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Posted: Mar 12 2013 at 8:47pm |
Printer_Ink wrote:
sexyandfamous wrote:
Thanks for the advice Printer_Ink. I am already over the guy; took me only one weekend.
I did hang out with a male this weekend, we kissed and had fun, no sex and I guess that upset him because he was cold with me today, but I don't care
I think my former crush was aware that I had a crush on him. Since I am not interested anymore, I dunno what I'll do if he does ask me out.
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Good for you!!!! If no sex after knowing him for a weekend upsets him DUH .. there you go - you see that he's a nothing. You know he doesn't give a darn about you and would have used you for sex and moved on. If that former crush knew you liked him .. GAME OVER. Move on ... there is a nice guy out their that will chase you ... and will wait A LONG TIME to have sex because he wants you. |
We know each other for a month actually and today he was fine with me. Maybe he feels awkward, perhaps he isn't sure about what he or I want...either way, I thought it was fun to make out with someone after a long time and I am glad he's still my friend.
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Printer_Ink
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Posted: Mar 13 2013 at 3:12am |
Okay, but be careful... You are in a vunerable place right now which is always a slippery slope toward .. the bedroom. Then poof .. it will be OVER with this guy and he will be gone. Just because he is acting right now .. doesn't mean you should discount the way he acted initially after the event. I think that women need to trust their instincts - especially about men. You FELT that he was mad at you because you did not give him sex and now he is acting right so you are going to forget what you felt ... which is MOST LIKELY completely on point.  Aside from that .. 1 month is too short of a time to have sex. What? There's a CLOCK on how soon you can have sex? Nooo though he might make you feel like that so he can have his way with you (and then dump you). No, whether it's a month or 6 months ... what determines whether you sleep with a guy .. is if after AT LEAST 3 months you have gotten to know him enough to figure out if he is available (emotionally) for a relationship and IF he is a decent sort of guy. If after 3 months of STEADY dating you see that he is stable emotionally, does not pressure or guilt you into sex, has a decent job, wants you to meet his friends, wants you see where he lives, pays his bills and BUDGETS his money wisely when you do nice things together, maybe does volunteer work at a Hospice hospital, is always where is says he will be - you can call him at 2:00am and he will be in bed like a normal person,shows up on time, sees that your screen door needs fixing and insists on fixing it for you, treats you and everyone in his life (like his mom) with respect, and all the rest .. he is deserving of your company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If after 3 months (but probably LESS), you see he is always MAD at you because he buys you dinner/drinks and you AIN'T puttin out (ghetto), hides normal things from you like where he works, he has financial problems OR always has a flashly big wad of cash (is involved in illegal activities), he is belittling to you or controlling, is estranged from his family, his friends are visually hostile or shady, he lives or 'stays' at odd homes here and there or he lies about every little bitty thing or he plays this dissappearing act - not around, shows up at odd times and allll that kind of s*** .. then DUMP HIM. That situation WILL NOT END WELL!!!!!!!!!! So though you still kindof like this guy ... trust your instincts. You are deserving of a decent guy!
Edited by Printer_Ink - Mar 13 2013 at 3:21am
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sexyandfamous
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Posted: Mar 14 2013 at 3:55pm |
OMG PrinterInk, you should have your own column! When I read your words " Just because he is acting right now .. doesn't mean you should discount the way he acted initially after the event" everything clicked.... I'll be careful, you're totally right. But I wasn't interested in dating him. He is seven years younger than me, and for the way he kissed and touched my body, I think he lacks a lot of experience. About that former crush...today I saw him with his girl. He turned around and looked straight at me as he held the door open for her. Not sure why he cared that I saw but I felt a bit upset by that, but I want to be over it before I meet him again on Monday
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Tafa01
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Posted: Mar 14 2013 at 8:00pm |
Thanks to this thread (and lots of other empowering readings), I have finally let go of someone I had been seeing on and off for 2 and half years. He never introduced me to his (grown) children or friends, only took me out 3 times. Never spent the day with with me doing random stuff like normal lovers do. Never took the bait when I talked about how I needed help for this or that. Would wait days before returning my texts. Only saw me at night. Made tons of promises about how he would take me bowling, fishing, playing pool, you name it, "next week". None of those things happened. I feel sooo naive. I "knew" all along that it was NOT a relationship. I just didn't want to face it and kept hoping that he would see how amazing I am, LOL. Yeah right. It's only been a few days but I haven't been tempted to contact him at all today, which is huge for me.
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Printer_Ink
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Posted: Mar 15 2013 at 1:16am |
Yep, just another 'User Loser' .. They are a dime a dozen.  Good for you that you have not contacted him! I am sure he thinks you will break down any minute now. If he contacts you and tries to pull you in again .. DISENGAGE. You already know what kind of man he is - he's not changing. Like Dr. Phil says ... the only thing worse than staying in a bad situation (in your case) for 2 years and 6 months is staying in a bad situation for 2 years, 6 months and 1 MORE FREAKIN DAY! My advice is to starting reading books or online sites about The Dating Game so that you learn how to spot these losers in advance and spot a decent guy and then learn what to do or not do with a decent guy.
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