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Letting Go Of A Relationship (You Never Had)

 
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Printer_Ink View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 22 2013 at 5:48am

Umm I will tell you a story.

Humans (Homo Sapiens) have been on the earth about 10,000 years and how do you think we survived?

Men ... who have the physical musculature and strength to bring down a stag or a bear or a whatever ... would do this. If your man can't do this - the both of you will starve.

Women ... would grind the grain to make wheat to make bread,or kill that little bitty chichen and chop him up to cook for dinner, watch the 2 year old, watch her belly (she's pregnant) and mind alot of stuff around the house (such as it was back then)

So the man spent allllll that time focused on PURSUING that one prey out there .. until he bagged it so he could bring it home and present it to you.

Men pursue .. but the woman is multitasking and sit back and choose the right male to mate to with.

Now times have changed A LOT so women are not sitting home all day taking care of the house (unless they want to) but they don't HAVE to because a woman can buy bread already made and buy their meat from a grocery store HOWEVER men .. are pretty much HARDWIRED to purcsue. Period.

If that deer just fell into his lap (snap) just like that - he would HAVE a deer .. but .. where's the fun?So men like a challange. THis is MAJOR. If they can (snap) get you just like that .. ummmm you will just fall into their lap .. umm they will not see you as soooo valuable. (unless they themselves are maladjusted - F ed up and whatnot. But you don't want a guy like that!)

When you LIKE A GUY you are gonna send out vibes that he will pick up (snap) just Like that so he does not have to work to get you!!! So if if you are mico managing your interaction with him .. he will sense this as you are CHASING HIM!!

The ONLY WAY in fact that you are not chasing him is if you are ignoring him completely.  Now in fact maybe you DO like him .. but you have to ATTRACT him to you. Then you have to say the magic word which is NO.

This will trigger him to pursue you. Stay kool, take your time. Be busy and involved in your own important life and let him CHASE YOU. You are the stag now.

Once you relent .. and date a bit ..do not have sex for a couple of months etc until you see who and what he really is. In fact though most of the guys you meet just want sex because they are not really relationship material or are 'unavailable' anyway. So really time reveals everything ... such that mainly you dump him anyway because he will not make a good mate!

(Now women are human too so if you JUST want to have a good time (read - sex) then fine. HOWEVER, DO NOT FOOL YOURSELF into thinking that one night stand or that regular booty call situation will evolve into a real relationship. Nooooooo woman always make that mistake!!!!! If a woman sleeps with a guy she thinks they are CLOSER now but that same guy is thinking out how to DISTANCE himself from that same girl!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MAJOR.)

Anyway, to answer your question

'..

rote "NEVVVVVER conduct themselves in this manner"what manner? to micromanage everything? because I am not being desperate and throwing myself at him.

If you want that guy you need to IGNORE HIM COMPLETRELY. NO EYE CONTACT. If he is a normal guy and is atttracted to you - HE WILL PURSUE YOU. If you are reluctant that will only make him want you MOREEEEEE! But he has to be attracted to you - and there is nothing you can do to change that. If you look like Heidi Klum and he likes a Drew Barrymore type visually ... there is nothing you can do.Move on.

So this guy ALREADY KNOWS YOU LIKE him because you are tracking him like this and he can feel it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE SAME THING AS THROWING YOURSELF AT A GIUY!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's why I say a girl that has it going on ON THE INSIDE - good self esteem is NOT TRACKING A GUY LIKE THIS! A GUY SHOULD BE TRACKING YOU!!!!!!

F him.

He is a grown man and if he hads not approached you - he does not want you. Period. All your effects to get him to 'notice'you are useless.

Hey, I was young once too and I made the sammmmme mistakes.

Bottom line -a guy HAS to chase you.

THAT DEFINES your woRTH. DO NOT BE EASY FOR HIM.

And most of the time ... the guy is not even AWARE of why he lost interest in you. He can't help it .. it's biological.


Edited by Printer_Ink - Feb 22 2013 at 11:01am
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 22 2013 at 5:42pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

When you LIKE A GUY you are gonna send out vibes that he will pick up (snap) just Like that so he does not have to work to get you!!! So if if you are mico managing your interaction with him .. he will sense this as you are CHASING HIM!!

The ONLY WAY in fact that you are not chasing him is if you are ignoring him completely. 

Anyway, to answer your question

'..

rote "NEVVVVVER conduct themselves in this manner"what manner? to micromanage everything? because I am not being desperate and throwing myself at him.

If you want that guy you need to IGNORE HIM COMPLETRELY. NO EYE CONTACT. If he is a normal guy and is atttracted to you - HE WILL PURSUE YOU. If you are reluctant that will only make him want you MOREEEEEE!

So this guy ALREADY KNOWS YOU LIKE him because you are tracking him like this and he can feel it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE SAME THING AS THROWING YOURSELF AT A GIUY!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ok, I got it: if a guy likes you but isn't pursuing you...he isn't worth it.
To be honest I don't think he thinks I am interested in him....
But I will follow your advice and I'll see what he does about that.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote miraclebaby_91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 26 2013 at 11:56am
Originally posted by *braidbeauty* *braidbeauty* wrote:

Originally posted by miraclebaby_91 miraclebaby_91 wrote:

I also want to add that one thing that I've learned recently is that you can train your brain to do ANYTHING.........moreso your subconscious mind which is the part of the brain that gives you dreams. If you find yourself obsessing over a man who doesn't like you or isn't pursuing you need to know that YOU HAVE THE MENTAL POWER TO REDIRECT YOUR ATTENTION ON ANOTHER MAN......I don't care if it's a stranger you may never see again that you find yourself fantasizing about........it's better to fantasize about dating or sexually being with a stranger you will possibly never see again or even a celebrity than to fantasize about a person you know and am around sometimes that will never pursue you or doesn't like you the way you like them. You can even fantasize about the men that have given you male attention and admiration in the past if you find them attractive is some way(even if it's just in a non-physical strictly characteristic way) I am training my brain right now as we speak to focus on the male attention and admiration I've gotten(even if the guys weren't necessarily my type I'm fantasizing on how good it felt to get it cuz some women struggle getting male attention and admiration) and on sexy strangers I see randomly in the streets that I know I may never see again and celebrities. Fantasizing about those 3 things(strangers, celebs, and previous male attention and admiration) will keep you SANE until a guy you want pursues you. Also IF YOU THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE ONE GUY DOESN'T LIKE YOU THAT NO OTHER GUYS YOU EVER LIKE WILL LIKE YOU YOU ARE SPEAKING THAT INTO YOUR EXISTENCE. That WILL become your reality cuz for a long time that was my reality after this one guy I wanted badly rejected me. FOCUS ON PREPARING YOURSELF TO BE A WIFE WHILE YOUR SINGLE.........NOT A GIRLFRIEND A WIFE. There are many books that teach you how to be wifey material and not girlfriend material.........besides let's keep it real most guys may not say this but they wanna girlfriend that they can eventually make their wife.......so they want wifey material for the most part unless their tryna you know........just freak every female they see. These are some books that I've been reading that have helped change my conditioning all of these are HIGHLY recommended btw: The Secret(sold instores and online), The Power of Your Subconscious Mind(sold instores and online), Chapter 11 out of the book: Think and Grow Rich(HIGHLY recommended sold instores and online), Get anyone to do anything(sold instores and online, How to make anyone fall in love with you(sold instores and online HIGHLY recommended but still use common sense with the techniques in this book) The Guide to Becoming The Sensuous Black Woman(I've read this book more than once LOVE IT HIGHLY recommended you can buy it off of Amazon.com since this book isn't sold in stores) The Power of the coochie: Get what you want from men(this book is only sold at Amazon.com beware it's blunt advice but it's exactly what alot of women need to hear) and The Power of WOW: A guide to unleashing the confident, sexy you(sold in stores and online....get this book seriously). I also bought the book that I highly recommend as well is: Make any man want you which can be found in stores and online
Also go on the www.thesecret.tv for inspirational stories about women(and men) finding love through using the Law of Attraction. People have also gotten their dream lives, homes, cars, etc. from using The Secret AKA the Law of Attraction.



I love the theory of the law of attraction. I need to remember to apply it to my life more consistently.

I do too I'm tryna get more serious about applying the LOA to my life more consistently too.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote miraclebaby_91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 26 2013 at 11:58am
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Originally posted by miraclebaby_91 miraclebaby_91 wrote:

I also want to add that one thing that I've learned recently is that you can train your brain to do ANYTHING.........moreso your subconscious mind which is the part of the brain that gives you dreams. If you find yourself obsessing over a man who doesn't like you or isn't pursuing you need to know that YOU HAVE THE MENTAL POWER TO REDIRECT YOUR ATTENTION ON ANOTHER MAN......I don't care if it's a stranger you may never see again that you find yourself fantasizing about........it's better to fantasize about dating or sexually being with a stranger you will possibly never see again or even a celebrity than to fantasize about a person you know and am around sometimes that will never pursue you or doesn't like you the way you like them. You can even fantasize about the men that have given you male attention and admiration in the past if you find them attractive is some way(even if it's just in a non-physical strictly characteristic way) I am training my brain right now as we speak to focus on the male attention and admiration I've gotten(even if the guys weren't necessarily my type I'm fantasizing on how good it felt to get it cuz some women struggle getting male attention and admiration) and on sexy strangers I see randomly in the streets that I know I may never see again and celebrities. Fantasizing about those 3 things(strangers, celebs, and previous male attention and admiration) will keep you SANE until a guy you want pursues you. Also IF YOU THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE ONE GUY DOESN'T LIKE YOU THAT NO OTHER GUYS YOU EVER LIKE WILL LIKE YOU YOU ARE SPEAKING THAT INTO YOUR EXISTENCE. That WILL become your reality cuz for a long time that was my reality after this one guy I wanted badly rejected me. FOCUS ON PREPARING YOURSELF TO BE A WIFE WHILE YOUR SINGLE.........NOT A GIRLFRIEND A WIFE. There are many books that teach you how to be wifey material and not girlfriend material.........besides let's keep it real most guys may not say this but they wanna girlfriend that they can eventually make their wife.......so they want wifey material for the most part unless their tryna you know........just freak every female they see. These are some books that I've been reading that have helped change my conditioning all of these are HIGHLY recommended btw: The Secret(sold instores and online), The Power of Your Subconscious Mind(sold instores and online), Chapter 11 out of the book: Think and Grow Rich(HIGHLY recommended sold instores and online), Get anyone to do anything(sold instores and online, How to make anyone fall in love with you(sold instores and online HIGHLY recommended but still use common sense with the techniques in this book) The Guide to Becoming The Sensuous Black Woman(I've read this book more than once LOVE IT HIGHLY recommended you can buy it off of Amazon.com since this book isn't sold in stores) The Power of the coochie: Get what you want from men(this book is only sold at Amazon.com beware it's blunt advice but it's exactly what alot of women need to hear) and The Power of WOW: A guide to unleashing the confident, sexy you(sold in stores and online....get this book seriously). I also bought the book that I highly recommend as well is: Make any man want you which can be found in stores and online
Also go on the www.thesecret.tv for inspirational stories about women(and men) finding love through using the Law of Attraction. People have also gotten their dream lives, homes, cars, etc. from using The Secret AKA the Law of Attraction.
 
You are 100% CORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Every woman needs to read these kinds of books instead of waiting on a guy that is never gonna be interested in you and basically just try to use you for sex ... if they give you any attention at all.
 
A good friend of mine just got a crushing dump but months ago I tried to WARN her that this guy was full of it. Do you know what she said? She said 'I don't want to play any games' I just want to be honest and tell him the truth' as she jumps whenever he wants to see her. Me and 2 other girls told her AT THE SAME TIME. 'Girl, don't be so dam easy for him! Make him sit and wait and wonder about you. Do not be  so AVAILABLE  and drop everythoing every time he calls! I said, Danny .. why do you think they call it .."The Dating GAME".  It is a game - you just have to learn the rules to play the game right.
 
I am not talking about those user type females that are just tricking a guy so she can get his money or whatever .. these girls are 'damaged goods' and are no better than hookers. I am talking about recognizing when an AVAILABLE man is coming YOUR way and making him chase you so you can form a real relationshïp. That's what sparks the love.
 
Like that old saying goes 'Chase him .. until HE catches ... YOU'. :)

Yea I definitely agree that every woman should read those type of books because the more you know about the dating game and how men are the more success you are more liable to have with the opposite sex.......like the saying goes KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. :)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote TexasBaby03 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2013 at 7:28am
Thank you for posting the article and for all of the comments. It has definitely helped me! I have been in a bad mood for a few days over a guy that, I'm assuming, doesn't want me. It's a terrible feeling and I know the right one is out there for me. I just need to be patient and wait on God. I really didn't think anyone else went through these kinda of things like me. My issue is with a guy in corporate America. Both of us work for the same company but different departments and states. I guess age doesn't matter when it comes to situations such as this one. This whole thread has made me feel better. Thanks again to all!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2013 at 5:25pm
......the guy I wanted is dating someone. I discovered today. Now it makes sense why he got so nervous around me and even started to avoid me.
I know my value and if he knew it too, he would choose to risk trying to get to know me instead of being with the one he's with.


I am thankful for this thread.
Should be a sticky.


Edited by sexyandfamous - Mar 08 2013 at 5:31pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 09 2013 at 3:18pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

 
What I mean is .. you do not want a weak man. Sorry to say it like that but ... life is hard and you want a guy that has enouigh self-esteem to approach any woman - no matter how she looks etc.
 
He HAS to grow a backbone on this basic area


Ok, I have an update and that's why I still disagree with what you wrote : today the guy I am crushing had the chance to sit right next to me in class but instead he picked another place to sit, even though he looked at me as soon as he walked in AND walked behind my seat before adjusting himself in another one.

I thought that was lame and was upset. At the end of class, he left the classroom first and I remained for about 5 minutes chatting with the professor. We were in the second floor and there are two stairways on both ends of the hallway. When I left the classroom, he was standing in front of the elevator, looking at the door to see who was coming out.

It was my chance to be near him, especially because it was obvious that he waited for me but instead....I turned around and went down the stairs.

I was just too nervous to be near him, and I don't have low self-esteem. In fact my ex said that I think highly about myself (too highly, in his opinion).

I don't want to be crushing forever, so if this guy doesn't make a move sometime in the next two weeks, I'll most likely lose interest.

You are reading into it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 09 2013 at 3:23pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

......the guy I wanted is dating someone. I discovered today. Now it makes sense why he got so nervous around me and even started to avoid me.
I know my value and if he knew it too, he would choose to risk trying to get to know me instead of being with the one he's with.


I am thankful for this thread.
Should be a sticky.
Same thing happened with the guy I liked.Hug
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 09 2013 at 4:38pm
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

......the guy I wanted is dating someone. I discovered today. Now it makes sense why he got so nervous around me and even started to avoid me.
I know my value and if he knew it too, he would choose to risk trying to get to know me instead of being with the one he's with.


I am thankful for this thread.
Should be a sticky.
Same thing happened with the guy I liked.Hug


I am not into fighting for men or trying to prove to a guy that I am the best girl out there.
If he wants me, he knows where to find me. I won't lie, I still have a crush on him but I won't bother anymore.
And you were right on your post, I was reading (TOO MUCH) into it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 09 2013 at 4:53pm
Lose that crush asap.  Every time you see him and his girl, your heart will break a little.
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