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Letting Go Of A Relationship (You Never Had)

 
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Jess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 11 2012 at 4:25am
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miraclebaby_91 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote miraclebaby_91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 14 2012 at 5:48pm
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

Originally posted by ummmok ummmok wrote:

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:


Originally posted by ummmok ummmok wrote:

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

I do this with every single guy that I like since...HS. Maybe b/c I got rejected so many times in elementary school.Confused
And it's never too late to change this. You've already recognized there is a problem...do something about it
Yup.
This semester I will take everything at face value.

What do I do when I see this crush who hasn't reciprocated my feelings? Just walk by and let him say hi or just act like nothing happened and say hi.


If he liked me, he would have let me known by now. This crush has been going on for almost a year...It's time to let go of the fairytaleOuch

I know how you feel. Seriously. I had a year-long crush in HS lol. He would always smile, say hi, act interested; I felt like he purposely gave me mixed signals. I've learned that if a guy really is interested you wouldn't be left confused. He will def let you know. Not by mixed signals and misleading, but he say it to you. For one, because he's interested, and 2, he wants to get to you before another man does lol.

I say just say hi back when he does, give him a simple, nonchalant hi and keep it moving. Don't think for a second he doesn't know you like him. Men really aren't as confusing as they pretend to be. I mean, we all know when someone likes us, even if we pretend not to know for whatever the reason, most likely, fear of rejection. Whatever the case, I'm sure he's aware and likes the ego boost but isn't interested in more than ballooning his head.

You gave him almost 365 days and he didn't make a move. His loss! There will be another. And this time you won't have to second-guess as to whether he likes you or not. He'll be direct. And if he isn't, don't waste your time. It is what it is. Good luck!

I'm a junior in college. 
 Ugh. Thank you.  Thank you so much for typing this out.  I really needed another person to tell me what I know exactly.  I feel so stupid. Cry  Socially.   I'm just so embarrassed that I was like a lovesick puppy stroking his ego. Embarrassed that he knew/other people knew/etc and I got rejected. OuchI feel so sick.
 

I have a headache.   I'll type more later.



I feel ur pain. The same situation I've been thru.
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Jess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 14 2012 at 5:54pm
Thanks girl.  He was playing games.  Once he found a girl he liked he did not hesitate to make his move. 
I no longer approach guys and take everything with a grain of salt.
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miraclebaby_91 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote miraclebaby_91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 15 2012 at 12:05am
Yeah same here. I don't approach guys anymore and I stay taking things with a grain of salt.
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miraclebaby_91 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote miraclebaby_91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 15 2012 at 12:06am
And your welcome. I hope that these type of issues(romantic obssession, holding onto a relationship that never actually existed) gets more light. Cuz alot of women struggle with this, but don't verbalize it.
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BeatriceBean View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeatriceBean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2013 at 12:58pm
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*braidbeauty* View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote *braidbeauty* Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 08 2013 at 11:46pm
Great advice but easier said than done. I feel like I'm always in situations like this where I am crushing on someone and have trouble letting go of the idea of being with them, even if they don't seem to show obvious interest. I currently feel this way about a guy and it's not a good feeling! How do you know when to be optimistic about the situation and when it is completely hopeless? Especially when you haven't even gotten to know the guy so it's hard to just write him off.
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 08 2013 at 11:46pm
That's was pretty interesting...
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Printer_Ink View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 12:22am
braidbeauty - sorry but there is NEVER a time to be optimistic about such a situtation. Never. A grown man knows how to ask a woman out. He does not need your assistance.
 
Girl sees/meets guy
Girl likes guy and tries to get his attention by looking attractive
Boy approaches girl if he is attracted to her and asks her out
Girl does NOT appear to be so impressed and says no, makes him struggle to get a date with her
Girl eventually agrees to a date.. has a nice time ... but keeps it cool
Boy pressures girl for sex early on and girl says no .. for a good 3 months or so .. until she figures out what kind of guy he is and if he is relationship material
Within those 3 months ... either he will stick around - because he is really interested or ... if will dissappear because really .. all he wanted was sex and since you are not gonna be 'easy' - he is off an easier more desparete prey.
 
If you do anything other than the above sequence of events (more or less) you will end up getting yor heart broken.
 
So .. if the guy can't even figure out a way to APPROACH you then either -
- he is not interested in you at all .. maybe just likes the attention
- he is interested but is married or involved ... but can't help give you attention but will never ask you out because he is faithful
- he is married or involved, not really interested.. but is willing have sex with you AND THEN dump you
- he is single.. but he is emotionally unavailable (most single guys fall into this category!) but yes, he needs sex from you or anyonre that will give him sex. If you just want sex too - okay, enjoy yourself .. but don't fool yourself into believing that he will want a real relationship with you after you have sex with him so soon.
 
Men are simple creatures ... IF he is interested in you (and you cannot force him to find you atrractive)
                                     and IF is he emotionally or legally available
                                     and IF  he wants something real
                                     all you have to is be yourself, be sweet, and DON'T SLEEP with him ... and you have a chance of having a real relationship.
 
Do not pursue or  obviously flirt with a guy. Do not give him attention. IGNORE HIM. He has to approch you - if not MOVE ON - WRITE HIM OFF.


Edited by Printer_Ink - Feb 09 2013 at 12:28am
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PensiveChic3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote PensiveChic3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 2:22am
OMG who wrote this article?? I swear they wrote it just for me and I am really bothered. Obviously I'm not the only woman who has acted this way but I feel so bad now. Obsessions are such a battle to break.

Edited by PensiveChic3 - Feb 09 2013 at 2:23am
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