Yep, that would do it alright.
I have replied twice to your PM and both times it got
zapped by the BHM gods.
I think there will be a lot of guys around you all
your life but instead of trying to get them to talk to you etc … you have got to
think about ways of making yourself … attractive to them - they that they come to you - not the other way around.
9999.99 % of this is getting into yourself, pursuing
your dreams, being happy, having a lot of nice people around you (that will say
nice things about you) so that when a decent guy comes along .. he will be
attracted to you. Period.
Decent guy meaning a guy that is also about something.
If he’s some wannabe thug hanging out with his friends on the street at night
that you always see hanging around .. forget him .. he is not building anything for himself, is going nowhere and will drag you down
on to his level. If he is some dude trying to trick you into sex …
another loser to avoid for a relationship. You need to be chosy .. not desparate because guys can smell that 100 away!
So first off … you have to have high standards and
since there is an 8 to 1 ratio of Black women to Black men .. you have to
broaden your net if you want to meet a guy.
I can give you an example from TV. Now TV is never so
real but some themes resonant again and again … you just have to recognize
them. The one main theme is .. guy pursues a girl and she says NO because there is a problem. There is a kind if tension between the two of them so for her it's like NO WAY!!!!!
But then as things progress .. umm she kind of falls for him (he chased her!) But if he had met her and BAM they started dating and hit the sack etc.. umm very likely this would burn itself out in a couple of months if not less and she would be left ... hurt.
There is a show called DROP DEAD DIVA that I love.
Long (TV land story) but there’s this busy woman Lawyer that is really
dedicated to helping people. So far she has had 3 love interests on the show
and the start of EACH of them (and for different reasons) she was just flitting around doing
her work and hanging with her friends and they all approached her. (One the
first guys was her bf when she was in another body – so that’s different
because at first she did want him. This is where the TV thing kicks in!!!). Hee
My point is that she takes care of herself, hair,
makeup, clothes so she is attractive ALTHOUGH she is a BIG GIRL!
Early on you get the
idea that this BIG GIRL is not gonna
pull any guys but because of who she is on the INSIDE so far, she pulling more than any of the girls on
the show. And they are good looking decent guys that are into her for a real
Why? Because she truly has it going on .. is not so
eager to get a crush on a guy… SAYS NO to every time one of them comes her way…
etc. Now, she is not PRETENDING to have a life ... while dong the side eye at this guys .. she really HAS A LIFE!
So they HAVE to chase her.
Again this is TV so you can’t take everything as
reality .. but the BASIC THEME IS the same in real life. You make yourself
attractive because of the way you live so people just wanna be around you for
your great personality etc and yes your looks too EVEN IF YOU DON’T look like
So these decent (relationship minded) guys see you
come and going … and eventually they are DRAWN TO YOU! You don’t have to do a
darn thing to get these guys to like you or notice you .. it happens all by
This girl has CONFIDENCE, (not arrogance)and that is
what a decent guy wants in a relationship. (He definitely does not want a girl
that is already making cow eyes at him etc … because again the chase is over.) Noooo you've gotta get that out of you.
Edited by Printer_Ink - Aug 15 2013 at 2:30pm