Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
CoCo Black Hair
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Relationships
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Letting Go Of A Relationship (You Never Had)
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Extensions Plus
 

Letting Go Of A Relationship (You Never Had)

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234 28>
It Always Begin With Beautiful Hair

Premier Lace Wigs

Mynx Hair

Author
 Rating: Topic Rating: 10 Votes, Average 4.60  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Jess View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 23 2008
Location: Anywhere
Status: Offline
Points: 62248
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 12:58pm
Originally posted by ummmok ummmok wrote:

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

I do this with every single guy that I like since...HS. Maybe b/c I got rejected so many times in elementary school.Confused
And it's never too late to change this. You've already recognized there is a problem...do something about it
Yup.
This semester I will take everything at face value.

What do I do when I see this crush who has reciprocated my feelings?  Just walk by and let him say hi or just act like nothing happened and say hi.


If he liked me, he would have let me known by now.  This crush has been going on for almost a year...It's time to let go of the fairytaleOuch

Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
ummmok View Drop Down
Guest Group
Guest Group
Avatar

Joined: Jan 26 2010
Location: Planet Earth
Status: Offline
Points: 88465
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote ummmok Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 2:55pm
Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:


Originally posted by ummmok ummmok wrote:

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

I do this with every single guy that I like since...HS. Maybe b/c I got rejected so many times in elementary school.Confused
And it's never too late to change this. You've already recognized there is a problem...do something about it
Yup.
This semester I will take everything at face value.

What do I do when I see this crush who has reciprocated my feelings? Just walk by and let him say hi or just act like nothing happened and say hi.


If he liked me, he would have let me known by now. This crush has been going on for almost a year...It's time to let go of the fairytaleOuch

I know how you feel. Seriously. I had a year-long crush in HS lol. He would always smile, say hi, act interested; I felt like he purposely gave me mixed signals. I've learned that if a guy really is interested you wouldn't be left confused. He will def let you know. Not by mixed signals and misleading, but he say it to you. For one, because he's interested, and 2, he wants to get to you before another man does lol.

I say just say hi back when he does, give him a simple, nonchalant hi and keep it moving. Don't think for a second he doesn't know you like him. Men really aren't as confusing as they pretend to be. I mean, we all know when someone likes us, even if we pretend not to know for whatever the reason, most likely, fear of rejection. Whatever the case, I'm sure he's aware and likes the ego boost but isn't interested in more than ballooning his head.

You gave him almost 365 days and he didn't make a move. His loss! There will be another. And this time you won't have to second-guess as to whether he likes you or not. He'll be direct. And if he isn't, don't waste your time. It is what it is. Good luck!

Back to Top
Jess View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 23 2008
Location: Anywhere
Status: Offline
Points: 62248
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 3:21pm
Originally posted by ummmok ummmok wrote:

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:


Originally posted by ummmok ummmok wrote:

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

I do this with every single guy that I like since...HS. Maybe b/c I got rejected so many times in elementary school.Confused
And it's never too late to change this. You've already recognized there is a problem...do something about it
Yup.
This semester I will take everything at face value.

What do I do when I see this crush who hasn't reciprocated my feelings? Just walk by and let him say hi or just act like nothing happened and say hi.


If he liked me, he would have let me known by now. This crush has been going on for almost a year...It's time to let go of the fairytaleOuch

I know how you feel. Seriously. I had a year-long crush in HS lol. He would always smile, say hi, act interested; I felt like he purposely gave me mixed signals. I've learned that if a guy really is interested you wouldn't be left confused. He will def let you know. Not by mixed signals and misleading, but he say it to you. For one, because he's interested, and 2, he wants to get to you before another man does lol.

I say just say hi back when he does, give him a simple, nonchalant hi and keep it moving. Don't think for a second he doesn't know you like him. Men really aren't as confusing as they pretend to be. I mean, we all know when someone likes us, even if we pretend not to know for whatever the reason, most likely, fear of rejection. Whatever the case, I'm sure he's aware and likes the ego boost but isn't interested in more than ballooning his head.

You gave him almost 365 days and he didn't make a move. His loss! There will be another. And this time you won't have to second-guess as to whether he likes you or not. He'll be direct. And if he isn't, don't waste your time. It is what it is. Good luck!

I'm a junior in college. 
 Ugh. Thank you.  Thank you so much for typing this out.  I really needed another person to tell me what I know exactly.  I feel so stupid. Cry  Socially.   I'm just so embarrassed that I was like a lovesick puppy stroking his ego. Embarrassed that he knew/other people knew/etc and I got rejected. OuchI feel so sick.
 

I have a headache.   I'll type more later.


Edited by Jess - Aug 14 2012 at 3:22pm
Back to Top
ummmok View Drop Down
Guest Group
Guest Group
Avatar

Joined: Jan 26 2010
Location: Planet Earth
Status: Offline
Points: 88465
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote ummmok Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 3:47pm
LOL Jess, you have the best emotional GIFs. Don't be so hard on yourself. We've all been through this. No need to feel embarrassed. Once the new semester start you'll feel better.
Back to Top
313chick View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 03 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 39219
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote 313chick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 4:02pm
I agree with everything ummmok said.

Edited by 313chick - Aug 14 2012 at 4:37pm
Back to Top
Midna View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 02 2010
Location: Hell
Status: Offline
Points: 236078
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 6:23pm
 ClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClap Yes. This hit me so hard.. because it's so true!

There's one guy in particular I have bee guilty of doing this with for many months now and I've grown so tired of upholding this fantasy that will never come true. It's short-term pleasure, long-term misery!

It's gotten to a point where I can openly admit to myself that I am not harboring feelings for him, but I have feelings for the illusion I have created of him in my head. I'm glad I've reached the point where I can be fully honest about it and recognize that I am tired of doing this. Only thing left is change!

I'm tired of doing this!
Back to Top
Lilnicka4u2nv View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 29 2007
Location: New Yawk
Status: Offline
Points: 148983
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Lilnicka4u2nv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 6:35pm
I dont have crushes but i've done this with ex's in the past...

   and it always screwed me up because they would come back into the picture every once in a while on some passive aggressive sh*t while doing them (thinking I dont know), new girls and all and I was stuck in my heart staying to myself (lowkey hoping they'd come around) while trying to move on and it would go one for up to a year...





Edited by Lilnicka4u2nv - Aug 14 2012 at 7:06pm
Back to Top
Spokenword View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Feb 25 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 45567
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 7:02pm
Aww Jess its OK. *hugs*
I read an article somewhere and it was talking about taking a man down off the pedastal. Sometimes in your head you build him up to be this big person, but in reality if he was all that he would know not to pass you by. so how smart is he, really?
and at the end of the day, those guys really do teach you a lesson and prepare you for the next. sometimes you are doging a bullet and don't even know it.  Wink
Back to Top
Spokenword View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Feb 25 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 45567
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 7:04pm
here is parts of the article:
 

Our thoughts are so powerful and I finally realized that if I was going to walk away from him for real then I needed to bring him back to Earth in my mind. The way to do that was to tell myself the truth about him and the situation. No more heaping compliments or making excuses for him. It was time to rip off the blinders and be honest about who I was dealing with. I was only adding to my own pain by telling myself that he was the perfect guy. Was he really perfect? Clearly not. For all my “he’s sooo smart,” he wasn’t intelligent enough to get into a relationship with me, so I guess he wasn’t such a genius after all.

What I wish I’d known sooner is that no man is perfect, and too often we end up projecting perfection onto a man despite his blatant shortcomings. Once I stopped wishing things would change, and admitted nothing would change, something did change: Me. I walked away. It’s much easier to gain perspective when we’re being truthful with ourselves about what is really going on. Taking an objective look will likely result in realizing when we’ve dodged a bullet. Looking back, I know I did. Besides, he wasn’t that cute anyway.

Have you ever found yourself thinking more highly of a guy then he deserved?

 
Back to Top
Lilnicka4u2nv View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 29 2007
Location: New Yawk
Status: Offline
Points: 148983
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Lilnicka4u2nv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 14 2012 at 7:09pm
Originally posted by Spokenword Spokenword wrote:

here is parts of the article:
 

Our thoughts are so powerful and I finally realized that if I was going to walk away from him for real then I needed to bring him back to Earth in my mind. The way to do that was to tell myself the truth about him and the situation. No more heaping compliments or making excuses for him. It was time to rip off the blinders and be honest about who I was dealing with. I was only adding to my own pain by telling myself that he was the perfect guy. Was he really perfect? Clearly not. For all my “he’s sooo smart,” he wasn’t intelligent enough to get into a relationship with me, so I guess he wasn’t such a genius after all.

What I wish I’d known sooner is that no man is perfect, and too often we end up projecting perfection onto a man despite his blatant shortcomings. Once I stopped wishing things would change, and admitted nothing would change, something did change: Me. I walked away. It’s much easier to gain perspective when we’re being truthful with ourselves about what is really going on. Taking an objective look will likely result in realizing when we’ve dodged a bullet. Looking back, I know I did. Besides, he wasn’t that cute anyway.

Have you ever found yourself thinking more highly of a guy then he deserved?

 


this was me to a tee Cry


   another thing that helped was, realizing how much of a skeevy person he was because while he was in a relationship with some other woman (that he didnt know I knew about, he NEVER brought her up), there he was calling and texting me, wanting to have deep convo's and reminisce about us, and why we went wrong...


He was just so passive aggressive and I could tell he needed some type of ego boost from me


Edited by Lilnicka4u2nv - Aug 14 2012 at 7:14pm
Back to Top
Sunwell
China Lace Wigs
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Netwurks Xcel21
Human Hair Wigs
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234 28>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down