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Lyricale07 
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 Posted: May 16 2013 at 11:16pm |
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@Printer_INK I read your post several times and I am confused. IT's not you, but when it comes to things I this I am just plain dumb. Can you put it to me simply? Cause what I got out of is it to ignore men completely, which I have been doing but still nothing happens. In fact it feels worse cause then I REALLY know that nobody is checking for me.
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Lyricale07
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Posted: May 16 2013 at 11:10pm |
 Brjasuga51 wrote:
Lyricale07 wrote:
dOLLish. wrote:
Lyricale07 wrote:
Spokenword wrote:
awww. 
do guys approach you to ask you out? what is happening from there? are you putting too much too soon on the table? are you sleeping with them too quickly?
there maybe other things that you may not be aware of.
also, there is this book, " why men love bitches." and a member here, midna who made a thread of it attached the downloaded book on there. may be some good little tips to read. i gave it to a friend who needed help boosting confidence with men, and making them "work" for her time/attention.
ill see if i can find it if you are interested.
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No, they don't. I've never had a relationship or a real date. Every guy I liked from middle school/high school either friendzoned me or had a girlfriend. By the time I got to college I had such low self esteem I clinged to the first guy who paid me any attention. We attempted to go on a date shortly after we met but it went badly (as I said I've never dated so I was really weird) and he friendzoned me. I pursued him for another year and a half and finally gave him my virginity thinking he'd start to develop deeper feelings for me and was FWB with him for like a year....
I'm over him now, and have had one other FWB situation that was short lived last year, with a coworker (I really did just want to just hook up with him though, nothing more). I don't talk to either of them in that way anymore, it's strictly platonic. But now I'm like, wow I have had no substantial relationships with men. I'm invisible to men and to the few who did notice me I was either a little sister type or just a FWB. :(
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I'm sorry 
I've never had a real relationship on gone on a date either. Recently, I started to wonder if it was the result of low self-esteem. I never knew that other people could pick up on your insecurities without saying anything, but I guess it's true. Do you think this may be why you're friendzoned? If not, why do you think you're friendzoned?
I'm sure the right guy for you will come. It sucks that you have to go through a bunch of frogs before you get your prince, but I think you'll be super appreciative when that guy comes into your life. |
I'm also sorry that you've experienced the lack of relationships/dates...but I don't know, I know a LOT of women with low self esteem who stay pulling guys so I'm like "Well maybe it isn't that." I am truly clueless.
But it's okay I'm pretty used to it now, I guess I just occasionally like to hope and daydream that things will be different someday. And I keep wondering what's wrong with me to make this keep happening. I'm not sure why I always get friendzoned, because my self esteem didn't really get low until my junior year of high school after I'd been rejected like 5 times...
I honestly wish I knew why it's always the same story, cause I'd fix it. Every time I meet a guy I try to find out what he likes and adapt myself to that but it never works out.
^^^^^ This right here is where you are going wrong. never change who you are for someone or adjust to what they like so they can feel comfortable. Always remain true to yourself. Once you are ture to yourself someone will accept you for who you are and will LOVE U FOR THAT QUALITY. You will find someone in due time...But first you have to work on you...If you contiously doubt or think you will always will be benched thats what will happen. Every woman is unique and comes with different qualities. You mght not be every mans cup of tea...but trust and believe you will meet someone who adores you for who you are and you dont have to like what they like to be accepted by them
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I understand what you're saying and I've been told that as well but I'm 24 and have been NO ONE'S cup of tea, not even enough for anyone to want to take me out on a date and converse with me. Something about that is not right. I've seen women, cute and ugly, skinny and obese, nice and mean, sane and insane and all have been able to at least attract someone enough for that person to pursue them. I've never been pursued or had someone have a crush on me. After a while it makes you feel like you're not worth it.
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Lyricale07
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Posted: May 16 2013 at 11:05pm |
dOLLish. wrote:
@Lyricale07, Are you sure that these guys are the "right" guys? Do their relationships go anywhere? I cannot understand why you keep getting friend zoned, either. Do you think it's the type of guy you pursue?
I definitely would not suggest changing yourself to become more like their ideal woman. Your guy should like you for who you are, flaws and all (I know that may sound cliche, but it is true!).
I have enough motivation to move on; knowing that virtually everything he said was a lie should be all I need to enough to end my mental relationship. I am upset, I am hurt, but more than anything I feel stupid for even believing anything he said. I am hopeful that these feelings will help me to end things once and for all. |
To be perfectly honest, I don't know what the "right" guy is. I don't look for a certain type of guy, I actually don't look at all. It just happened to be that I'd end up being attracted to guys I went to school/had classes with and usually they were tall and slim and the nerdy/skater type. Which usually, they don't like black girls. Ever since I graduated from college though, I don't meet any guys at all so I've given up completely. All the guys I ever liked, I met at school. I guess I tried to change myself cause no one has ever liked me for who I am. I'm socially awkward, kinda reserved and shy. I don't really have anything about me that stands out and like I said I'm usually invisible to guys so when I do happen to catch one's attention I've tried to milk it by finding out their preferences and adapting, unless they straight up don't like black girls then I just let that go and move on quick cause I love my blackness lol. I'm glad that you have the courage to move forward, I know it's hard especially when it seems like you might not meet anyone else for a while...I'm sure great things are in store for you 
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Jess
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Posted: May 16 2013 at 9:20pm |
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Understanding that he is just not that into me...is hard to understand.
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Brjasuga51
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Posted: May 16 2013 at 3:27pm |
Jess wrote:
If he does contact me, what should I do? |
Be yourself.....If there is something specific you would like to talk about dont just go Hi,You know ....and run in to it. Pace yourself at at the same time you can probably read him(meaning his action...his responses to casual conversation )
Edited by Brjasuga51 - May 16 2013 at 3:28pm
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Jess
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Posted: May 16 2013 at 2:31pm |
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If he does contact me, what should I do?
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Jess
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Posted: May 16 2013 at 2:29pm |
sexyandfamous wrote:
Jess wrote:
I think deleting his number was overreacting. Too soon to be thinking of serious dating. We still need to get to know each other. I'll text him back Friday |
No - didn't you read anything posted in this thread?
Let HIM do the work and contact you first. See how much he cares and if he will contact you when he is sober (you mentioned on another post he only contacts you drunk)
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He only contacted me that one time drunk. All the other times were in school (in person) or when he was sober.
Anyway, it doesn't excuse his actions...
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Jess
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Posted: May 16 2013 at 2:28pm |
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Sorry ladies. I was just tripping. I'm not going to text him. I just going to go to sleep...study...and watch my show...as I planned. If he wanted me, he could man up and get to know me. I do deserve better. It's just I'm feeling parched.
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Jess
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Posted: May 16 2013 at 2:22pm |
sexyandfamous wrote:
Jess wrote:
I think deleting his number was overreacting. Too soon to be thinking of serious dating. We still need to get to know each other. I'll text him back Friday |
No - didn't you read anything posted in this thread?
Let HIM do the work and contact you first. See how much he cares and if he will contact you when he is sober (you mentioned on another post he only contacts you drunk)
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Okay. I didn't text him. I was tripping...I'll put him on the backburner.
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Jess
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Posted: May 16 2013 at 2:21pm |
Brjasuga51 wrote:
Jess wrote:
I think deleting his number was overreacting. Too soon to be thinking of serious dating. We still need to get to know each other. I'll text him back Friday |
Why did you consider deleting it in the first place? |
I felt like every waking thought was being consumed by him. I was analyzing every text, comma, period, length of time it took for him to text me back...Idk. 
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