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Topic ClosedJudging A Man Based Off The Women He Dates/ Sexes

 
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SolidSnake View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2009 at 8:47am
Originally posted by dynamite23 dynamite23 wrote:

Originally posted by Allure Allure wrote:

Yes, I'm arrogant its no secret, but I have a right to be. I have several pageant titles under my belt and I model professionally but that's neither here nor there. BTW, why is it that when women are arrogant we get bashed, but when men are arrogant people say they have " swagger" etc ,and they get praised, although they may not be attractive at all. FYI- I'm single by choice, I'm currently working on my masters degree so that's where most of my focus is. But that's beside the point:

This thread is not about how I look, its about judging men based off of the women they deal with. And I was wondering how many people do this? Because I don't see anything wrong with it, and I think it makes perfect sense. If you saw a gorgeous man with a horrible looking loud obnoxious ghetto chick, wouldn't you question his standards?






The way you think is just so, i have no wordsConfused. I cannot stand arrogance in men or women.  I cut off my ex-bf because he was extremely arrogant and  I am humble yet confident individual. Our personalities did not mesh at all.



You can be confident, have "swagger" without being arrogant. There is a world of difference between those two wordsSmile.



Definition of swagger:

1. How one presents himself to the world, the ability to handle a situation with a sense of calm and uncanny grace. The ability to maintain a healthy level of self-confidence without appearing arrogant.
 
2. The seeming effortlessness to a person's admired style, the way they walk, talk and dress.

3. The inability to be easily shaken by anyone or anything.



Definition of Arrogance: wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

overbearing pride evidenced by a superior manner toward inferiors



Definition of confidence: wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

 freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities;

-being very sure of or positive about something



see?Wink


Anyway as for you cutting the guy off, it is your prerogative. As long as you're happy, that is the mantra the masses follow so do what makes you happy.

You don't know why he chose to sleep with her. You know absolutely nothing about her aside from her superficial looks which you deem "ugly". Remember ugly to one person is pretty/gorgeous to another. It is a matter of perceptionSmile

Just because you think you are gorgeous; you have been told you are gorgeous by a fair share of people does not mean everyone carries that same opinion. Someday you will come across an individual that finds you completely unattractive. Brace yourself for itSmile.

As for judging a man by the women he pursues, what we see on the outside does not depict the full story. A man might have chosen the loud, ghetto female because she is what he likes. Who am i to question his standards? That has nothing to do with me. If he is single and pursuing me, I don't want to listen to him harp about the women in his past  (their physical appearance) so much as I would want to know how he treated them by the way he talks about them.

To me the way a man talks about the women he's dated or been with in the past is always a dead give away of whether i should proceed or halt in my tracks.  If he is always debasing them, then i know he has a problem with respect for women. If he talks about them respectfully despite the fact that things did not work out then i know he will/ does have respect for me. This gives me a clue as to the type of man that he isSmile


I wish  you the best in your studies.


Truest statement ever
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SimplyBlunt View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2009 at 9:23am
Yea I do judge guys based who they were with before just to see if they have a particular "type". Some guys only go after girls with similar appearances but I don't seem like their type it can be a good or bad thing. Also, if it's a guy of another ethnicity/race, I always wonder if I'm the first black female they have been with. Of course I feel apprehensive to asking such question b/c it's kinda weird, but I wanna know damnit! I just don't wanna be someone's "experiment".
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2009 at 11:30am
Originally posted by D-weezy D-weezy wrote:

1. That Whoppi looking chick was just his slump buster/practice girl.
2. Damn that is really shallow.
3. LOL @ the next chick possibly saying the same about you.


EXACTLY

If women only knew how much the next girl, or the other girl, talks about them, maybe they wouldn't do the same. Every girl seems to think they look better, or dress better, or suck sausage better than the next girl. Truth is, your silly opinion means nothing, if the man found her attractive enough to stick his sausage in her......then that's what it is. I had one ex who said the other ex was busted, while the other ex said the same about her. I'm like, I'm f**king both of yall.........shut up....unless yall are trying to *&%^$#@E eachother.

as other ladies have said, it should me more about how he treated them and all that. Imagine for a one second, if men didn't mess with women because of all the Brothas they have sucked, f*cked, and dated who weren't sh*t. The men they chose to get pregnant by. The down low Brothas they married and boo'd up with. It would only be like 10 girls to choose from.


Edited by theundresser - Jul 03 2009 at 11:33am
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gimmeMORE. View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2009 at 3:12pm
I do the same thing myself. 

If the female is really ugly I think he must have low standards. What is he doing with her? Does he have low self esteem? Is that his type? Does he think I'm like that? LOL it all goes through my head!

If he messes with nasty females/rats then I judge him and cut him off. This might be harsh but I am really disgusted with the idea of dating a guy who frequents hoes.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2009 at 11:28pm
Im more bothered by the class, or lack thereof, of the women before me. if she was unattractive in MY opinion, but was intelligent and carried herself with class and intelligence, it wouldnt bother me that much. I have come to realize that when you're looking at someone thinking theyre "ugly" there is someone looking at you thinking the exact same thing.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 04 2009 at 9:44am
Originally posted by gimmeMORE. gimmeMORE. wrote:

I do the same thing myself. 

If the female is really ugly I think he must have low standards. What is he doing with her? Does he have low self esteem? Is that his type? Does he think I'm like that? LOL it all goes through my head!

If he messes with nasty females/rats then I judge him and cut him off. This might be harsh but I am really disgusted with the idea of dating a guy who frequents hoes.
 
The OP is referring only to looks, not class or lack there of.  There's a difference to what you're referring to. 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 05 2009 at 10:31am
It's funny... I have seen that happen.. Friends of my ex told me how he started to get more play after people saw us together..My man now even notices how women look at him more when we are out together...  I never thought to look at someone's ex... I didn't really look at looks as much as i looked at class... Now I look at both in a man's ex......... His ex does have to look decent,though...
 
If she look like a boogawolf, but she was the strong independent type... I would think that she paid for more than what needed to be paid for... Which make the dude in my face look like a user... So I bounce as soon as I see the first sign of him not holding his own... I am alomost 30.. You gotta meet it, or beat it...
 
If she is really beautiful... I may think he had to hold his and hers to keep her around... However if he starts telling me stories all day about him being dogged by the beauty queen... I bounce... I don't do well with guys who play "the victim role"
 
Yeah... I can be shallow....LOL
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lavera View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 06 2009 at 8:33am

this is exactly why i dont talk about my past relationships with new prospects even if they do become my man, and I dont want to know about theirs either........

 
 
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 07 2009 at 12:41pm
that's what I'm talking about.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 07 2009 at 1:40pm

ummm.....wow @ some of these postsConfused

But personally I don't take looks of his prior women into consideration. Women & men do not view the same things as attractive on most levels.  I mean what purpose does the looks of past women serve if he's with you at that moment? 

The thing I do take into account about his former women are any trends in personalities...like weak minded, needy, clingy, uber freaky, overly independent women. 
 
I just take mental note of traits that are extreme opposites of mine bc it can be a sign to us not being compatible.


Edited by tenia_star - Jul 07 2009 at 1:42pm
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