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Allure View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Judging A Man Based Off The Women He Dates/ Sexes
    Posted: Jul 02 2009 at 9:24am
I know it my seem shallow, but I do it all the time. I recently stopped seeing a guy because I found out he use to have a jump off that looked like Whoopi Goldberg (horrible body & face Dead). Even though he use to mess with her (no dates, only sex) a year ago, I was sooo disgusted when I recently found out. Because I feel like if he will hit that, then he has no standards when it comes to who he has sex with. This guy was extremely attractive & intelligent, and could have almost any woman he wanted..So why did he chose to sex her? 
 
I'm I wrong for cutting him off?


Edited by Allure - Jul 02 2009 at 9:26am
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niki_p View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2009 at 10:43am
yes, but that's just me. if it were their personality or their behaviors/reputation-i'd understand, agree even but because they are 'ugly' you have a problem with it. what if he judged you for the type of guy you had dated- a poor, unducated OR even a rich, cultured man(if he's poorer)? what if he judged you off their looks or their peen size?

if you judge him solely off their looks that's bad. if she is someone i don't wish to be associated with, even indirectly or her entire outer package(looks, behavior etc) is something i don't like, i'll be judging them both.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2009 at 11:13am
If the coochie is available a dude will hit end of story.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2009 at 11:35am
Originally posted by D-weezy D-weezy wrote:

1. That Whoppi looking chick was just his slump buster/practice girl.
2. Damn that is really shallow.
3. LOL @ the next chick possibly saying the same about you.
 

It would be impossible for someone to say that about me because I get told I'm beautiful on a daily basis by men, women, black, white, Latino, Asian etc....( even when I have no make up on while grocery shopping @ Wal-Mart )Therefore my look appeals to most people I encounter. I just feel like why on earth would an attractive man want to bone a horrible looking female like that, when their are soooo many better looking women to be with? And as far as the men I've dated in the past: they were all extremely attractive, college education, financially stable etc.... So they were ALL up to par. I guess I am shallow after all...oh well, that's just me.



Edited by Allure - Jul 02 2009 at 12:19pm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2009 at 3:16pm

Yes, I'm arrogant its no secret, but I have a right to be. I have several pageant titles under my belt and I model professionally but that's neither here nor there. BTW, why is it that when women are arrogant we get bashed, but when men are arrogant people say they have " swagger" etc ,and they get praised, although they may not be attractive at all. FYI- I'm single by choice, I'm currently working on my masters degree so that's where most of my focus is. But that's beside the point:

This thread is not about how I look, its about judging men based off of the women they deal with. And I was wondering how many people do this? Because I don't see anything wrong with it, and I think it makes perfect sense. If you saw a gorgeous man with a horrible looking loud obnoxious ghetto chick, wouldn't you question his standards?

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2009 at 4:33pm
I think that it is wrong to cut him off just because he was with a woman you felt was unattractive.  She could have had many wonderful characteristics such as being kind and intelligent.  Or maybe, she was great in bed and wouldn't get attached.  Either way, why not see it as him finally upgrading and not judge based on his past?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2009 at 4:39pm
I am the same way. People have patterns and I'd be damned if I jump in a pile of mediocre.
Its just a perception issue.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2009 at 5:07pm
Yeah you can question his standards but he could be expanding them and he couldve saw you as an upgrade.

Being "all that" doesnt mean you should have a mate just as being "ugly" doesnt mean you shouldnt.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2009 at 6:08pm
I completely agree with op. Not much about her just being ugly but Especially if she is a hot mess. If a guy will do anything with scuzzy women then u stArt to wonder if he has picked up anything. So I think it is natural to be a turn off. Just like some guys believe it or not may be turned off if a girl has been around and around and aroundthe block. Also, some guys really do have an issue where they wanna screw every girl. In sight. Literally. It's not a specialty it's a disorder. However, cute or not u might wanna wonder about a guy who has a ton of jump offs.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 03 2009 at 6:47am
Originally posted by Allure Allure wrote:

Yes, I'm arrogant its no secret, but I have a right to be. I have several pageant titles under my belt and I model professionally but that's neither here nor there. BTW, why is it that when women are arrogant we get bashed, but when men are arrogant people say they have " swagger" etc ,and they get praised, although they may not be attractive at all. FYI- I'm single by choice, I'm currently working on my masters degree so that's where most of my focus is. But that's beside the point:

This thread is not about how I look, its about judging men based off of the women they deal with. And I was wondering how many people do this? Because I don't see anything wrong with it, and I think it makes perfect sense. If you saw a gorgeous man with a horrible looking loud obnoxious ghetto chick, wouldn't you question his standards?






The way you think is just so, i have no wordsConfused. I cannot stand arrogance in men or women.  I cut off my ex-bf because he was extremely arrogant and  I am humble yet confident individual. Our personalities did not mesh at all.



You can be confident, have "swagger" without being arrogant. There is a world of difference between those two wordsSmile.



Definition of swagger:

1. How one presents himself to the world, the ability to handle a situation with a sense of calm and uncanny grace. The ability to maintain a healthy level of self-confidence without appearing arrogant.
 
2. The seeming effortlessness to a person's admired style, the way they walk, talk and dress.

3. The inability to be easily shaken by anyone or anything.



Definition of Arrogance: wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

overbearing pride evidenced by a superior manner toward inferiors



Definition of confidence: wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

 freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities;

-being very sure of or positive about something



see?Wink


Anyway as for you cutting the guy off, it is your prerogative. As long as you're happy, that is the mantra the masses follow so do what makes you happy.

You don't know why he chose to sleep with her. You know absolutely nothing about her aside from her superficial looks which you deem "ugly". Remember ugly to one person is pretty/gorgeous to another. It is a matter of perceptionSmile

Just because you think you are gorgeous; you have been told you are gorgeous by a fair share of people does not mean everyone carries that same opinion. Someday you will come across an individual that finds you completely unattractive. Brace yourself for itSmile.

As for judging a man by the women he pursues, what we see on the outside does not depict the full story. A man might have chosen the loud, ghetto female because she is what he likes. Who am i to question his standards? That has nothing to do with me. If he is single and pursuing me, I don't want to listen to him harp about the women in his past  (their physical appearance) so much as I would want to know how he treated them by the way he talks about them.

To me the way a man talks about the women he's dated or been with in the past is always a dead give away of whether i should proceed or halt in my tracks.  If he is always debasing them, then i know he has a problem with respect for women. If he talks about them respectfully despite the fact that things did not work out then i know he will/ does have respect for me. This gives me a clue as to the type of man that he isSmile


I wish  you the best in your studies.


Edited by dynamite23 - Jul 03 2009 at 8:01am
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