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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 12:47am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

I just got into a heated argument with one of my male friends who said he prefers lighter women after saying I looked like a shadow (he's dark btw.) Stern Smile

One of the points I made during the discussion is that this is the general opinion of black men:

"I prefer to date women of a lighter hue."

and compared it to a white exec at a large firm saying

"I prefer to hire men of a whiter hue."

Those two are comparable right? I'm not crazy, right? Or are the dynamics between dating and work that different? My point was trying to get them to understand that black men have a tendency to do to their women what white employers have done to them for so long, yet only see the issue when it hurts them.

Lol someone tell me I ain't crazy..









I know Drake said no new friends but imma need you reconsider that in 2014. You got 3/4 of the year left boo to surround yourself with better people. It ain't a wash yet.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 1:05am
Originally posted by f8dagrate f8dagrate wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

People can date who they want and employers can hire who they want, shrugs shoulders.

That color struck negro ain't your friend.....
True but that is not the point. If people 100 percent did that, many blacks would not have a job.

Sorry I'm not seeking advice from someone who calls their "friend" shadow, in my mind its not even a argument cause once the first words were uttered I would have been ghost.

People CAN hire who they want, I never said it was right. When they are filling a "minority" quota they don't have to be black. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 1:15am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

I just got into a heated argument with one of my male friends who said he prefers lighter women after saying I looked like a shadow (he's dark btw.) Stern Smile

One of the points I made during the discussion is that this is the general opinion of black men:

"I prefer to date women of a lighter hue."

and compared it to a white exec at a large firm saying

"I prefer to hire men of a whiter hue."

Those two are comparable right? I'm not crazy, right? Or are the dynamics between dating and work that different? My point was trying to get them to understand that black men have a tendency to do to their women what white employers have done to them for so long, yet only see the issue when it hurts them.

Lol someone tell me I ain't crazy..




1) This guy is not 'your friend'.   Why would you be okay with letting him talk to you like you are a fool? Learn to recognize who your real friends are early in life if you want to avoid your self-esteem being undermined/damaged. I would be DONE with that guy. :O

2) The AA community is extremely color struck - especially with dark men preferring light women. Every AA man is not like this no, but it's a big part of THE AA culture. Dark women get married every day sure .. but sometimes (just like women ‘settle’ for a guy that is not as financially put together as they would like) men 'settle' on a girl that's not their 'ideal' in terms of color/looks because they are not able to 'get' the kind of girl they would like to have. Again EVERY AA man is not like this .... but this attitude exists in the AA … as much as people pretend it does not.

3) Employers on the other hand ... are another story. Federal EEOC guidelines say they have to hire X amount of minorities and women so if you are qualified for the job .. in my experience they are quite happy to hire someone that is clearly an AA person. If you are AA but from a distance ... this is not so clear because your skin is so light, they would be concerned that the impression would be … they hired a black person that looks more on the light side … which would be held against them. Of course in large company where there are several thousand employees and plenty of AAs that are 'clearly' black ... this wouldn't be such an issue. If you are qualified and are of any color ... you can get the job.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 1:17am
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Originally posted by f8dagrate f8dagrate wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

People can date who they want and employers can hire who they want, shrugs shoulders.

That color struck negro ain't your friend.....
True but that is not the point. If people 100 percent did that, many blacks would not have a job.

Sorry I'm not seeking advice from someone who calls their "friend" shadow, in my mind its not even a argument cause once the first words were uttered I would have been ghost.

People CAN hire who they want, I never said it was right. When they are filling a "minority" quota they don't have to be black. 

Ugh yes, I totally agree. I don't get it, was shadow supposed to be a jokeConfused? It hurt me when I read that. I know people can hire who they want, but most of the time that ish is racist though.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 1:21am
@printer Ink, you spoke about a dream color, I have heard this from a young lady. I didn't know people had dream colors about people. This young lady I was speaking to kept talking to me about her dream babyConfused
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 1:22am
didn't you say you mainly date white guys on some brothas ain't sheit tip? or was that in the past? bc of these are the coloreds you're associating with and calling friends.....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 1:23am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

didn't you say you mainly date white guys on some brothas ain't sheit tip? or was that in the past? bc of these are the coloreds you're associating with and calling friends.....
She can't date her friends because they probably think she is too dark for them. Man, which state do you live in Femme? Because some men do act like this.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 1:32am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

I just got into a heated argument with one of my male friends who said he prefers lighter women after saying I looked like a shadow (he's dark btw.) Stern Smile

One of the points I made during the discussion is that this is the general opinion of black men:

"I prefer to date women of a lighter hue."

and compared it to a white exec at a large firm saying

"I prefer to hire men of a whiter hue."

Those two are comparable right? I'm not crazy, right? Or are the dynamics between dating and work that different? My point was trying to get them to understand that black men have a tendency to do to their women what white employers have done to them for so long, yet only see the issue when it hurts them.

Lol someone tell me I ain't crazy..









I know Drake said no new friends but imma need you reconsider that in 2014. You got 3/4 of the year left boo to surround yourself with better people. It ain't a wash yet.


Lol I agree. I use the term friend loosely. I think he was salty I didn't want to get with him.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 1:35am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

didn't you say you mainly date white guys on some brothas ain't sheit tip? or was that in the past? bc of these are the coloreds you're associating with and calling friends.....

I actually told them that after the shadow comment and used their derision of my color as an example why I feel the way I do.

And it's not that I think all black men are terrible people. I meet some who seem to have an amazing love for their women/culture/God but it's so so rare down here. Seriously thinking of migrating to the East coast to try something new.

I still think my analogy made sense. It's all color based is it not? 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 03 2014 at 1:37am
So femme how did the conversation go?
Femme: so what kind of girls do you like?
Coon: umm Idk you?
Femme: nah, I like porkDead
Coon: well you look like a shadow any way!Angry
Coon: I only date lite brights to be specific.
Femme: what! that isn't right what, about When a white boss.....




yes I'm bored, but did it go like that?LOL
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