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Is There a Difference?

 
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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    Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 8:41pm
I just got into a heated argument with one of my male friends who said he prefers lighter women after saying I looked like a shadow (he's dark btw.) Stern Smile

One of the points I made during the discussion is that this is the general opinion of black men:

"I prefer to date women of a lighter hue."

and compared it to a white exec at a large firm saying

"I prefer to hire men of a whiter hue."

Those two are comparable right? I'm not crazy, right? Or are the dynamics between dating and work that different? My point was trying to get them to understand that black men have a tendency to do to their women what white employers have done to them for so long, yet only see the issue when it hurts them.

Lol someone tell me I ain't crazy..
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bunzaveli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote bunzaveli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 8:41pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Lol someone tell me I ain't crazy..
nigg0as aint shiet boo
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote blaquefoxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 8:48pm
Gone are the days when I gave a fucc about black men's vain opinions when it comes to dating. 

OP, ain't you swirling? By now you should be able to sleep peacefully like a baby, no? You ain't gon see my rocking Nikes religiously and complain about some sh1t Reebok did -____-
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 8:49pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

I just got into a heated argument with one of my male friends who said he prefers lighter women after saying I looked like a shadow (he's dark btw.) Stern Smile

One of the points I made during the discussion is that this is the general opinion of black men:

"I prefer to date women of a lighter hue."

and compared it to a white exec at a large firm saying

"I prefer to hire men of a whiter hue."

Those two are comparable right? I'm not crazy, right? Or are the dynamics between dating and work that different? My point was trying to get them to understand that black men have a tendency to do to their women what white employers have done to them for so long, yet only see the issue when it hurts them.

Lol someone tell me I ain't crazy..
Where's Afro at? Here's his glimpse of colorism in real life versus the innanets.

Anywho, you're better than me. I woulda saved my breath on educating that bish after he insulted me. The fact he thought he could use your color as an insult and expect a conversation not involving getting cussed out...gurl!


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melikey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote melikey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 8:52pm
well, i guess they are a branch from the same tree, but i don't think they are the same. 

society shapes our preferences and our biases. 

the difference is that it is unacceptable (nowadays) for employers to say that high power positions should be filled by tall, white men. and yet they are. there's not a big deal made about it because no one comes up and asks how much this person's physical characteristics played in their career trajectory. it is assumed to be a non-issue.

on the other hand, it is perfectly acceptable to express, with rare exception certain physical characteristics you find most attractive in a mate. it's almost like people can rationalize that they are so beyond racism that they can draw the line in one aspect of their lives (at work) but feel free to express a similar train of thought in their personal lives. 

perhaps a better comparison would be if you compared apples to apples. like a person who prefers to not have black friends. in both instances, the person is decided if they will or will not form a personal relationship with a person based purely on physical characteristics. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 8:54pm
i dont think they're the same… at all… come on now.. 

dating/being attracted to someone depends heavily on their physical appearance… to some short hair is ugly.. to some.. lighter skin is more attractive.. i know i prefer dark guys.. theres nothing wrong with preference as long as you dont discriminate. 

Hiring a person to work for you.. has (or should not have..) nothing to do with physical appearance (considering they look clean and groomed and stuff) working somewhere has to do with their resume and qualifications.. 

they're different. 
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liesnalibis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote liesnalibis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 8:56pm
I don't put too much stock in these niccas so he couldn't have gotten that reaction outta me.
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NJHairLuv View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (10) Thanks(10)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 9:04pm
*If that dude is your friend, he shouldnt be.
*All of my dark skinned friends and family are married to black men, so ima need for people to stop acting like black men are only dating and marrying barely black or non black women. thx.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 9:06pm
ummmmm i don't meet many black men in real life who always date light bright almost yt women.  most men i know have dated a mix.  the few who did fix their lips to say this to my face were met with scorn and disgust on my part...lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 02 2014 at 9:07pm
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

, so ima need for people to stop acting like black men are only dating and marrying barely black or non black women. thx.
lol i just typed something very similar. 
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