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Is it harder for a man to be masculine or for a

 
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liesnalibis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote liesnalibis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 9:50pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I think it's a lot easier to be feminine because you really don't have to anything to be feminine. Guys are expected to act a certain way though.
please clarify? 

I mean women can just live their life and still be seen as feminine. Sure, we have to do certain things to be seen as attractive, but that's separate altogether. But men have all these standards and expectations. Eg don't let anyone disrespect you, put women first, take care of your family, have and don't have certain mannerisms or you'll be seen as possibly gay, step up when someone needs help that requires stregth or you'll be seen as a coward, don't hit women even if they hit you, if you see another man hurting a woman intervene, etc. Men have a lot of expectations placed upon them. All women really have to do is be themselves assuming we have feminine mannerisms anyway.
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oh_so_moody View Drop Down
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Harder to be feminine.
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Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I mean women can just live their life and still be seen as feminine. Sure, we have to do certain things to be seen as attractive, but that's separate altogether. But men have all these standards and expectations. Eg don't let anyone disrespect you, put women first, take care of your family, have and don't have certain mannerisms or you'll be seen as possibly gay, step up when someone needs help that requires stregth or you'll be seen as a coward, don't hit women even if they hit you, if you see another man hurting a woman intervene, etc. Men have a lot of expectations placed upon them. All women really have to do is be themselves assuming we have feminine mannerisms anyway.
Oh ok. Yeah, I disagree.
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liesnalibis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote liesnalibis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 11:21pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I mean women can just live their life and still be seen as feminine. Sure, we have to do certain things to be seen as attractive, but that's separate altogether. But men have all these standards and expectations. Eg don't let anyone disrespect you, put women first, take care of your family, have and don't have certain mannerisms or you'll be seen as possibly gay, step up when someone needs help that requires stregth or you'll be seen as a coward, don't hit women even if they hit you, if you see another man hurting a woman intervene, etc. Men have a lot of expectations placed upon them. All women really have to do is be themselves assuming we have feminine mannerisms anyway.
Oh ok. Yeah, I disagree.

Why?
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 11:48pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Why?
short of the long of it, i think both sides have respective difficulties and femininity is being over simplified in your clarification. 

we don't just show up and be seen as feminine. if we were, quite a few industries (fashion, makeup, cosmetic surgery, to name a few) would not have as much money or power as they do. 

and we have plenty of expectations-- how we walk, talk, eat, dress, look, live, fcuk, and more... all under the concept of being a lady. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote ThABxBoRoUgH Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 12:17am
Its definitely "harder" for a man to be masculine for sure. Men have to fit into this box of what it is to be a man. Being a man is not being a women, not being gay, etc. When you step out of those confines as a man, you are immediately put in check by men, women, and society at large. There is a culture of hegemonic masculinity that men are pressured into performing. Word to Sociology on this one. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote liesnalibis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 3:01am
Originally posted by ThABxBoRoUgH ThABxBoRoUgH wrote:

Its definitely "harder" for a man to be masculine for sure. Men have to fit into this box of what it is to be a man. Being a man is not being a women, not being gay, etc. When you step out of those confines as a man, you are immediately put in check by men, women, and society at large. There is a culture of hegemonic masculinity that men are pressured into performing. Word to Sociology on this one. 

I agree. Being a man is considered a step above being a woman. Which is why we hear things like "Now that's a real man!" "Stop bitching and be a man!" "Stop acting like a female/hoe/bitch/etc!" "Most of these black men didn't have fathers in their lives so they don't know how to be men."

Feminine is considered the default state of being. You have to step up if you want to be considered masculine.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 4:10am
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I think it's a lot easier to be feminine because you really don't have to anything to be feminine. Guys are expected to act a certain way though.


We're expected to be perfect all the time while dealing with hypocritical standards, unnecessary policing of our bodies, unspoken responsibility of the male in cases of sexual violence, and dichotomous standards in general to balance, all with less pay and we don't have to do anything to be feminine? LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 4:14am
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by ThABxBoRoUgH ThABxBoRoUgH wrote:

Its definitely "harder" for a man to be masculine for sure. Men have to fit into this box of what it is to be a man. Being a man is not being a women, not being gay, etc. When you step out of those confines as a man, you are immediately put in check by men, women, and society at large. There is a culture of hegemonic masculinity that men are pressured into performing. Word to Sociology on this one. 

I agree. Being a man is considered a step above being a woman. Which is why we hear things like "Now that's a real man!" "Stop bitching and be a man!" "Stop acting like a female/hoe/bitch/etc!" "Most of these black men didn't have fathers in their lives so they don't know how to be men."

Feminine is considered the default state of being. You have to step up if you want to be considered masculine.



Now that you elaborated, I do see your point. I do think men have more restricting expectations because its clear masculinity has a very linear and caricaturized image. It's also so ironic that masculinity is upheld as strong and superior yet femininity in its perceived inferiority can easily compromise the strong and infallible masculinity.

I think.. men have overly linear and high expectations while women have ridiculous and dichotomous expectations, hopefully I'm discerning this correctly.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote liesnalibis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 4:15am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I think it's a lot easier to be feminine because you really don't have to anything to be feminine. Guys are expected to act a certain way though.


We're expected to be perfect all the time while dealing with hypocritical standards, unnecessary policing of our bodies, unspoken responsibility of the male in cases of sexual violence, and dichotomous standards in general to balance, all with less pay and we don't have to do anything to be feminine? LOL

Feminine as in woman-like? No, we don't have to do anything.

"Is it hard to be perceived as feminine?" is a totally separate question to me from "Is is hard being a woman?"
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