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Is he expecting to much??

 
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BeautyAddiction View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 10:29pm

Here is some background info on us as a couple:

We have been together a little over 2 years. I have my own place but we stay at his place 99% of the time because he has more entertainment over here at his place. Neither of us has kids.  We both work fulltime jobs 40+ hours a week . He does make more than me and his job is more physical. He will give me money for things I need if I ask or sometimes he will offer. We have never had any unfaithful issues. I have always mentioned I wanted a dog but always stated I don’t think I could handle the responsibilities up until the day before he purchased the dog (which was a surprise) he agreed that he would help.

 

THE FACTS:

I wash and fold his clothes 95% of the time which includes hauling that heavy ass basket from his house up my apartment steps. I have asked many times could he at least transport the clothes because its so difficult. I always end up doing because when does his own laundry he complains.

I clean up after the dog 150% of the time!! Don’t get me wrong I love my munchkin but its hard work taking care of a puppy. He will let the dog sh*t in front of the bushes out front and leave it for me to pick up instead of taking him to the designated area and he loves to throw around its your dog when Im cleaning up the toys or something. In fact the other day the dog sh*tted on his puppy pad he put it in the trash and left it so when I got off work I had to take it the dumpster at night by myself.

I try to eat healthy and he has expressed he wants to too so I used to cook a lot and pack his lunches but he rarely ever touched anything I packed he would still take his junkfood and eat out the vendding machines. He wouldn’t even clean the lunch box out I would have to do that. He never helped with dishes. SO eventually I stopped cooking for him and packing lunches.

I used to clean the bathroom constantly finally I just said F*** it and I go home to shower unless I just break down . I would even hold # 2 sometimes but he will not clean it !!!

Stuff he doesnt finish eatting he just throws it in the fridge. I have cleaned out the fride several times and asked him to clean it out for two weeks now and NOTHING.
 

THAT ISH I DON’T LIKE

Every now and then he likes throw up what his other friends GF/wives do or say I don’t blah blah anymore.

Here lately as soon as I get off its cleaning up after him and the dog and Im too tired to do the nasty and of course he has start complaining.

I have never been in a real relationship is these are the things I should do to prepare me for a wife or he is expecting too much???

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BeautyAddiction View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeautyAddiction Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 10:30pm
Excuse the typos and grammar. My PC kept going out so that was like my 6th time typing it , and I need to get this off my chest TONIGHT!!! LoL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BoutThatLife Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 11:37pm
You are doing a lot, especially at a house that you really dont even live at. If you dont like it you better let him know. You dont want sh*t to realllly get comfortable and have you being miserable and resentful for years. He should appreciate what you do and not throw any thing up in your face. Maybe you would consider getting rid of the dog. You did ask for it so I can see you doing most, if not all of the work for it. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2013 at 2:03am
Girl, the best thing he did for you was buy that dog. Now you can have a visual into how he will be "if" you two have kids. I know a dog is an animal and not a child, but they require a lot of maintenance and love. You will be feeling the same way and doing 150% of the work when it comes to your kids if you have them with him. Probably not the man you want to have a child with. 

The smartest thing is that you have your own place. That is his house...so technically he can do what he wants. Stop going over to his house and have him come over to your house if he wants to spend time...if he doesn't pick up after himself at your house and wants to try and make your house all gross too...drop him..drop him fast.

I can't really say that you are doing too much because how you express your love to your man is your own way...but I think you just need to look at the bigger picture.


Edited by khivey - Jan 12 2013 at 2:04am
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BeautyAddiction View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeautyAddiction Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2013 at 9:22am
thank you ladies so much we will def have a talk tonight.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tbaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 20 2013 at 11:59pm
Originally posted by BeautyAddiction BeautyAddiction wrote:

thank you ladies so much we will def have a talk tonight.


So how did the conversation go?

IA w/ Khivey.  That's his house and you have yours.  I don't think he's expecting too much--but I do think you were doing too much.  This man isn't your husband so you shouldn't feel so obligated to be doing so much cooking and cleaning for him.

after re-reading your post let me tell you this:  Marriage doesn't make you an instant maid and cook, doing tasks without your husband showing appreciation.  Marriage also doesn't mean your spouse can act like a total jerk and not show some responsibility for a home you both share.  Your SO sounds really selfish.    



Edited by Tbaby - Jan 21 2013 at 12:03am
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ifeyini View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote ifeyini Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 21 2013 at 2:18pm
I've learned that you dont do wife duties when you arent a wife.
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Spokenword View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 22 2013 at 7:08pm
i agree with every post on this page.  how did the talk go?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 22 2013 at 7:10pm
oh and he is not expecting too much you are DOING too much. remember that as you are showing him the type of woman you are, he is showing you the type of man he is.  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 23 2013 at 7:05pm
Oh wow.. well guess you two won't be living together anytime soon, lol.
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