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If you need daycare you shouldnt have children

 
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:14pm
I don't see why this is difficult to understand.

Having a child is a choice. If you cannot afford to care for said child (food, shelter, medical care, safety, etc.) then you should not have a child. And you certainly shouldn't have multiple children.

But, because I believe that communities are only as strong as the individuals in them and that children should not have to suffer for the mistakes of their dumb ass parents, I support having a strong safety net to provide for those children. Though ideally the safety net would be more focused on preventing those situations in the first place.

It is simple.
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goodm3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:16pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


you also have to think about women that go school and get advanced degrees

many are finished around age 25 - 27 (maybe a little older)

you then need to get out there and start your career......oh but you should have a man first so yall can either be on your way to marriage, married, or very committed to each other

maybe you can get in 4 to 5 years of work before you start thinking about your clock and high risk pregnancies

if you want to continue with your career (whether yall need the income or not) you will have to think about having a family member or daycare center watch your child

now some have kids while in school and that's a whole other story


this..... 

I think it real easy to say a woman should leave her job when she just starting out not making a lot of money...but when a woman is older and well into the six figures..thats hard to just leave behind...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Random Thoughts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:16pm
I remember a thread on here about 2-3 years ago where the internet was said to be a luxury. That got pretty heated. I want to say maysay was leading the charge but I could be wrong about that.
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:17pm
Well Samone, different people have different priorities. Basic needs are non-negotiable though.

I recognize that every family can't/won't have everything. I personally think extracurriculars and anything that helps lead to self-actualization are necessary. But I'm not going to call someone a bad parent for not being able to afford those things.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:19pm
Off topic, seeing the stats on how many other countries pay much less for home internet access made me sad.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Bribby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:19pm
She's not a parent yet right?
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:20pm
I think there's a difference between needs and wants.

Water is a need. Soda is a want. Clothes are a need. Bunches of new clothes are a want. Access to information is a need, personal internet is a want.
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:22pm
I never said just daycare makes someone a bad parent. If you read my posts I said having your child spend more of its waking hours at daycare than with its own parents is absolutely wrong.

There were several times I pointed out the difference between going a few times a week for a few hours and going 8-12 hours a day, every single day.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote india100 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:25pm
Originally posted by Tbaby Tbaby wrote:

I've only read the last 3 pgs.

I don't judge mothers who have no choice, but honestly putting my career aside while the boys were under 6 was the best decision for my family.  I loved doing activities with them, watching them grow up literally before my eyes. 

Hubby and I both agreed that we wanted me to stay home and I did.  Now I did use mother's day out programs to give myself a break.  Daycare is very expensive, but I do think that they can be enriching for kids as well.


ahhhhhhh. Tbaby . I missed you . Pm functions works when it feels like it . LOLHug
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote atexaschick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 1:35pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

I never said just daycare makes someone a bad parent. If you read my posts I said having your child spend more of its waking hours at daycare than with its own parents is absolutely wrong.

There were several times I pointed out the difference between going a few times a week for a few hours and going 8-12 hours a day, every single day.
 
I don't agree, as a nurse working 12hour shifts (and if my partner worked a normal 8 hr shift job...I don't have a spouse or kids yet) what are we supposed to do as far as child care? If I let my 12year old cousin or my irresponsible 28 year cousin watch my kids (I don't have a lot of family in my area) I feel like I would be more wrong for doing that than sending them to daycare for 8 hours. Are you saying because I decided to be successful and have a career I shouldn't have my own family because my child would be at daycare until I/or my spouse could get off to pick them up?
 
 I'm sorry, if I could stay home I would but that is not real world. I enjoy having a career and I want my daughter to grow up wanting a career and not having to depend on someone else is she is married or single. People do what they have to do, and sending your children somewhere safe and for good reasons such as work, improvement in developmental skills, etc is not wrong IMO.
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