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If companies had REAL slogans, what would they be?

 
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Az~Maverick View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 5:37am
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr3767Yrcb1qazvpdo1_500.png

What if companies marketed the truth, instead of what they (or we) wished was true?

Belated Warning: Language is adult. Or, rather, juvenile.




Dasani: Italian for “Coke just sold you water”

Ben and Jerry’s: Who are we kidding a pint is definitely one serving

FreeCreditReport.com: Credit reports are already free, but don’t let our name fool you, this one really isn’t.

Costco: When you’re not sure what you want, but you know you want a LOT of it. (This might be a paraphrase of a Mitch Hedberg line.)

Facebook: We know more about you than you do

SlimJim: If we showed you how we make these you’d stop eating meat forever.

Applebee’s: We figured out a way to f**k up salad. Or, Applebee’s: For when you’re too lazy to prepare your own frozen food

Comcast: We’ll be there between 7 a.m. and f**k yourself in the face, or, Comcast—every single one of our customers hates us, but there isn’t anything they can do about it because we are an oligopoly and there is very rarely any alternative for high speed internet in most of our coverage area. Or, Comcast—Because F**k You.

Youtube: Don’t read the comments.

Pabst Blue Ribbon: Tag us on Instagram

Wal-Mart: We slave, you save.

Ed Hardy: Made for douchebags, by Malaysian children.

Tesla: Told you so. It’s here, it’s awesome, it’s expensive, and no you can’t have one yet.

Subway: Tricking you into high calorie meals for years.

Honda: This car does not die. We’ve tried.

Bank of America: Bend over.

Taco Bell: “You obviously don’t care what you put into your mouth, so why should we?”

BP: Lol, our bad.

Abercrombie and Fitch: If you’re ugly, f**k off, broseph.



Feel free to add your own......LOL



Edited by Az~Maverick - Jun 03 2014 at 5:39am
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Bribby View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Bribby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 8:23am
That AppleBees one is so real. I ALWAYS say there food looks and taste like it was frozen. I canNOT stand that place. Chili's please & thank you.
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india100 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote india100 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 8:34am
YES !! I would go without cable if that mafia company was my only option . Comcast reps make a really great salary to be cursed out 24/7 . I have WOW . Cable in all 8 rooms of my home for 135 a month with land line phone service .
 

Comcast: We’ll be there between 7 a.m. and f**k yourself in the face, or, Comcast—every single one of our customers hates us, but there isn’t anything they can do about it because we are an oligopoly and there is very rarely any alternative for high speed internet in most of our coverage area. Or, Comcast—Because F**k You.



Edited by india100 - Jun 03 2014 at 8:39am
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ThoughtCouture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 8:38am
Originally posted by Az~Maverick Az~Maverick wrote:

 

Wal-Mart: We slave, you save.

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote HaitianLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 8:49am
yes to comcast. THE worst company ever. I cant wait for verizon to get down here and knock comcast out. Verizon is expensive but their service is fast and reliable. Comcast gives you sh*t and makes you pay for it. Im currently with AT&T. Neither can live up to the speed of Verizon fios.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Bribby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 10:09am
Where comcast at? U-verse is reall good !
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Lite Brite Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 10:37am
Applebees we found a way to fck up a salad is the REALEST thing I ever read

The only place I've ever had to return a salad
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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 10:51am

for all of them

"fcuk you, pay me"


Edited by SamoneLenior - Jun 03 2014 at 10:51am
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K_Camille View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 11:00am
Yes, I hate Applebee's with a passion.  Disgusting food.
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niecy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote niecy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 03 2014 at 11:13am
The comcast one is so true. I HATED having their internet when I lived in Miami but it was one of the only options that I had. Worse service ever seemed like every other day the internet was out and not working.

lol @ the applebees one. I have yet to taste anything from them that was actually appetizing besides their chocolate mousse and their peach sangria drink. 


Edited by niecy - Jun 03 2014 at 11:15am
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