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If a child/teen is ashamed of being black

 
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carolina cutie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 1:10am
Originally posted by pattigurlatl pattigurlatl wrote:

I think everyone is right here. But the issue isn't blame because its a larger picture. The issue is how do you fight it?
Good point.

Teaching your child about the accomplishments of Black people big and small so they know more about them than what negative stereotypes the media likes to put out there and what meager scraps of black history K-12 teaches. Making sure your child is proud of their slave ancestry and know what torture Blacks before them endured in order for them to be seen as equals to most of their white counterparts today. Exposing them to positive Black family and friends and simply letting them know they come from a rich culture.

Making sure you display pride in your Black features. If you make negative comments about Black skin, hair, etc your child picks up on that and learns to hate it too. Y'all know what the heck I'm talking about so don't give me that 'what do you mean by that CC'?LOL

I think that's what parents and family can do on a small scale. Patti, what do you think we should do to fight it on a larger scale?



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afrokock View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 2:53am
which community we talmbout here?

ours or theirs?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 3:14am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

which community we talmbout here?

ours or theirs?


IMO both, but with an emphasis on our own. Sure we can demand that the mainstream accepts us and presents more representations of us. But if within our own community, we tear into each other, it's really quite irrelevant what other communities think if your own is not a nurturing/accepting group.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 3:14am
thats garbage love
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modelbusiness82 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 3:20am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

thats garbage love


Ok...so, it's more important for a child to want the approval of the mainstream (yt) community? And that child should shun their own AA community in pursuit of the approval of a community that doesn't necessarily nurture & understand the unique issues facing a child reared in the AA community?

So in other words, it's ok if the AA community doesn't foster a nurturing environment that encourages each other to excel and take pride in themselves for what makes them unique as well as the collective accomplishments of their peers and ancestors?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 8:01am
Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

its no one answer. i don't think it solely rests on the parents, but something that, ideally, should be supported in all facets of that child's life, from the school to the home to the community at large.

your parents can foster pride in you for being black, but if that isn't supported outside of the home as well, then it becomes even harder. the same child that has encouraging parents may have black friends/classmates that deem them "not black" for a variety of reasons. and while it is easier for an adult to ignore that, for a child (and teen), those things are going to stick w/ them for years.

similarly, if they go to a predominantly white school system and are one of the few black students (or minorities), and endure micro/macrotransgressions constantly can start to be ashamed of their culture. and a young child or teen may not have the tools to deal with all that...hell, some adults don't have the tools to deal with it.

just my opinion.
 
 
 
 
This.  my cousin's daughter years ago said that she hated being black.  Her mom didn't know what to do because she is pro black everthing.  Went through history and all kinds of "proud to be black" talks and what not with her.  Basically the child was listening to what society and her own people's outside the family was telling her.   I told her that as a child I went thru the same thing and there was really nothing she could do but keep uplifting her......and to be quite frank...get her out of her current environment if she could.
 
Now the child is doing well and is so into herself that I love it.  She has said that she now loves that she is different.
 
 
eta:  she was about 6 or 7 years old at the time


Edited by newdiva1 - Feb 09 2013 at 8:02am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 8:36am
i think media/society.
When I was really young I really wanted my hair to be straight and bouncy from watching all of the commercials with the yt women and the shampoo. Back then I think JFM relaxer commercials were really popular so I figured if I used that my hair would bounce and shine like the white women on TV.
I've never seen my mother put a relaxer in her hair, although she doesnt have the stereotypical 4a/b/c hair and she wouldnt relax my hair. I dont remember what her explanation was but I do know eventually she gave in and i really wish she hadnt now Unhappy
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 8:42am
There really needs to be more natural hair commercials, i think i've seen one...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote r0ck_starr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 8:45am
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

There really needs to be more natural hair commercials, i think i've seen one...

If there is one, guaranteed they'll display loosely curled hair. Something that only like 25% of black people have.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Tbaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 09 2013 at 8:52am
One of my hubby's best friends lives in a predominately yt area and has his kid in a private yt school.  He purposely counteracts all that "ytness" by traveling 20 miles away to the predominately black area of town and has his son in a AA basketball league.  My point is some parents recognize while trying to give your child a perceived "best" in life, they also inadvertently remove their kids from their culture...




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