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Topic ClosedI may just cut it all off again. Need Advice?

 
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peaceloveandcurls View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: I may just cut it all off again. Need Advice?
    Posted: Oct 28 2012 at 3:53pm
I shaved off all of my hair when I was 15 and wore a wig for four months until it was long enough for kinky braids. 

I am 19 now and my hair is just so damaged. I am currently wearing clip-ins but the front is so short and uneven...it's always breaking off and I don't know why because I moisturize it every night. Perhaps it is from the frequent flat ironing I started in May. My hair was very nice and natural but I made clip in extensions out of bohyme in April. The bohyme was so just..wild that I threw it out and decided to do straight clip ins and had to flat iron my hair which quickly lead to heat damage on my curls. Then in August and again in September I relaxed the edges, a little bit of the front, and a little bit of the back to blend in with my tree braid style I got with hair that was silky straight (I did not know, ordered from internet...the style was to have a little bit of hair out to cover the braids so it looks natural. it looked great)

But now, I am noticing my hair is breaking off. Maybe it is because I am in a new location or extremely stressed with college...I don't know. But my hairline is starting to hurt when I touch it and I don't know why because I don't even relax it anymore.

That being said, I'm just getting frustrated with this. I cut it off 4 years ago and had to deal with a lot of insecurity and feeling ugly ... for nothing because I damaged it again. So I"m thinking of getting it cut VERY short (except for the front which will be trimmed) and do the same invisible braid style I had before BUT with good kinky straight braiding hair and/or wet & wavy that will blend with my texture and can be reused. Since I'm a first year in college my goal is to keep it braided until at least my senior year of college. With the hair being short, I will not be tempted to use clip in extensions and I will be tempted to get it braided (I think short hair looks so ugly on me), thus leaving my hair alone to grow.

That was my goal the first time I transitioned. Keep it braided from freshmen year to senior year of high school. But I was wearing kinky twists and sometimes the braids would get so nappy and unruly, i felt ugly. So a year and four months later, my hair reached shoulder length (when flat ironed) and I got so excited and started putting clip in extensions in...ugh I ruined it. But I learned my lesson. I hate using fake hair. I would love to have my own natural 3C/4A hair past my shoulders and so thick. But tree braids give a bit of a more natural look, especially by leaving some of my own hair out in the front and using human hair so maybe this time I will stick to my goals. 

Any suggestions? Anything you think I should change to my plan or add to my plan? Any products I should try? Should I get a fotki and start participating more on here? I don't have any black females around me who are natural. Any advice for when I get frustrated with my hair? 

Thanks for reading ladies. I feel this place is the only support I will get as a black women trying to grow her natural hair long in a world where black women around me relax or get fake hair. I never want to have to use fake hair again OR use a relaxer to straighten my hair once I get to my goal. 




Edited by peaceloveandcurls - Oct 28 2012 at 3:55pm
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darlinnic View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 28 2012 at 5:59pm
Welcome peace!!!

You are most definitely on the right track because you are on this forum.

The flat ironing your natural hair to match the extensions definitely contributed to your damage.

First of all what products are you using?
Shampoo?
Conditioner?
Deep conditioner?
Leave in?

What are you actually doing to your hair besides moisturizing it?

Did you read the 101 thread in the hair growth newbie thread as yet?

Having a fotki or just taking pictures regularly is great because you can document your growth.

There is so much information there.... I still go back to it.

These are not questions to make you feel bad, there is nothing but good positive vibes in this section.

I am asking you these questions because they may lead to where you are having the issues and I'm sure some seasoned vets will chime in

Darlinnic

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sugabanana View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 28 2012 at 8:02pm
Welcome OP I agree with darlinic. There is a wealth of information on this site to help and aid your hair back to its healthy state. I just wish I saw this forum years ago when frustrated with my natural/relaxed/shedding/everything wrong hair. 

I just BC'd last month and i'm on the way to healthier hair from root to tip. 

God luck
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MsBaucee View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 29 2012 at 7:10am
Welcome. Smile

I'm in the same boat. I'm looking forward to reading the responses posted.
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TRENDIIVERSE View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 29 2012 at 7:50am
Do you mind posting pics of what your hair looks like now?
I agree with Darlinnic, and it would also be helpful to know what products you are using. I'm currently in the same boat as well, I damaged my hair severely and now almost 2 months later my hair is on track to health and is feeling soft and full of body. It helps to know what your hair likes and dislikes. If braids help you, that's fantastic. Set a goal, make a regimen,stick to it, and remind yourself why you've started the journey in the first place (if your mind starts to wander back to bad habits). I have what could be considered 3b/c hair, products that helped me bounce back are:
Dove intense moisture shampoo/conditioner
Aphogee Leave in conditioner
Aphogee vitamin/protein oil
Beautiful Textures moisture butter
Beautiful textures curly-straight oil.
I just ordered some Jamaican Black Castor Oil that I plan on working into my regimen.
I agree with you cutting it short and "starting over". I tend to get close to my goal length and get extension/dye happy and messing up all my progress lol DON'T DO THAT!! lol. Also like Suga and Darlinnic said there is tons of advice in the hair growth and natural hair care forums. Grab a pen and paper and take some notes and you'll be fine. HTH, Good Luck :)


Edited by TRENDIIVERSE - Oct 29 2012 at 7:52am
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babyk94 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 29 2012 at 7:54am
I cosign with trend on the dove intense moisture line it works wonders
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sugabanana View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 29 2012 at 8:30am
Besides OP for some reason I've seen ladies on BHM and YT cut all their hair off and within 3 years sticking to regimens and stuff have grown right at or way past where they started. Search hair journeys on YT.  
 
Now in my mind im like "WHAT THE HELL WAS THE HAIR DOING" for all the years it was on their head for it to be full blown healthy hair in just 3 years!!!! Its mind boggling but it works. You will go crazy at first looking in the mirror all the time for growth but its growing.
 
Look at me giving advice and just 2 months ago I HATED my hair.LOL
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peaceloveandcurls View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2012 at 6:30pm
Yes, I've checked out the 101 growth thread and it has helped a lot! In fact I washed my hair last night with cold water and it felt so nice. I am thankful for the OP to put their time into that.

Here is my fotki album of damage comparison. 
http://public.fotki.com/peavelovecs/comparison-of-hair-/ - http://public.fotki.com/peavelovecurls/comparison-of-hair-/
PW: BHMSupport

I got my hair got cut shorter in April and the lack of retaining my length doesn't even look like it's grown out so I'm not even sure about cutting it off because it won't be long enough for braids.

Products: I use a mix of JBCO with the product Africa's Best Herbal Oil. I would like to start making different concotions with JBCO though. I also use Tresemme Breakage Defense Conditioner, designline Olive Oil Shampoo *for all hair types* from the brand Regis. I got this from a beauty school. I use Organics by Africa's Best Hair Mayonnaise. For moisturization lately, I've been using African Pride Olive Miracle Anti-Breakage Formula. 

Prior to April, I was using Now Solutions Vegetable Glycerine 100% Pure Versatile Skin Care for my hair and MAN this really DID keep my hair moisturized! It was never dry with this! But the humidity started up again so I had to stop (at the time I was flat ironing and it was easily frizzy with this) so now that the humidity is probably down here, I will be using this again. 
 
Thanks for the advice...I am pretty disappointed in myself because I am on my way to a second transition, but I had no support and I was 16 when I started getting into flat ironing my new growth and the clip ins...eh, when I was a junior in high school, I had a weave and the hair grew A LOT. but then when I took it out, I did clip ins from November 2010 to July 2012. I should have never done that. So, yeah I need motivation to grow my hair long. 

ALso, what exact hair type am I? that picture isn't a very good picture but I will try to find another one of me. 


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peaceloveandcurls View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 30 2012 at 6:54pm
AND ANOTHER THING!!

any advice on growing out my edges? they are always so damn short! I want them long! :( 
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peaceloveandcurls View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 02 2012 at 7:02pm
BUMP! Please someone help me. 
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