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keepgrowing View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote keepgrowing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 06 2013 at 11:59pm
I saw the past threads on this and avoided commenting because it seemed futile. She is an adult and made a decision. My aunt is in her 60s and stayed and I just found out that my uncle (in his 70s) still abuses her. Some people are incapable of seeing their worth. While unfortunate, I will reserve my concern for the kids who did not ask to return to this situation. Be prepared to barely see your kids after they turn 18.

Also, be prepared to not be invited to family events because my uncle would just make every event terrible so they stopped inviting them to things and there is a divide in the family now. My family tried everything to get rid of him. My uncles beat him up and made her come with them with the kids, but she ended up just going back. I always looked at my auntie as a weak person, no offense, but you also lack the strength to leave and it is what it is. Also, my cousins were abused emotionally and physically mostly when they tried to defend their mother by stepping in to take the beatings the dad was giving the mom.
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 07 2013 at 12:07am
Originally posted by **RuBy FoXx** **RuBy FoXx** wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

so he's there with you?


Yes he's on the computer. I know u probably think its 24/7 abuse but its not. I think that's what makes it harder to leave


Jesus christ...


Why on earth did you make this thread..?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 07 2013 at 12:15am
Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

It's painful watching people plead her to leave and she's just sitting in the same environment with him. I commend anyone that is still trying; I would've given up long ago.


Exactly. This is so painful. She made this thread saying she left and expected commendments but is posting right in her possible murderers vicinity.

A part of me wants to hug op in pity and shake her in anger for stressing out members so much for her sake.

She's being offered information, shelter, and even a plane ticket to a better life for her and her child from total strangers who clearly give more of a fuck about her than her own violent husband and yet here she stays with him!

That child might have to suffer firsthand before she leaves. I don't mean that to sound vindictive, but if you being a punching bag isn't enough for you, will your child be next?? You've got to leave!!!
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keepgrowing View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote keepgrowing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 07 2013 at 12:16am
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Ruby ^^^ You are talking like the average abused woman i work with at the center . I will buy you a ONE WAY AIRLINE TICKET to any state in the US . I will call my contacts to help you go underground in a safe house for you and the baby .  I am done now . Check your message box for my personal number in 10 minutes . God bless .  



Wow, India really has a heart of gold. So inspirational. Heart
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote mzjuicy553 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 07 2013 at 12:27am
24 hour domestic violence hotline. They will route you to the closest shelter near you or even come pick you up. Sounds like she's not ready & doesn't want to put in the work. Yes it will be hard. But it will be better than being abused. I am also a DV survivor. I could of left much sooner. The fear of starting over & you don't have ish sometimes can be more fearful than the actual abuse. Hearing my daughter scream when she seen my black eyeswas enough for me. That was 5 years ago...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote yurika975 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 07 2013 at 2:38am
OP, OP....time will slip away from you. Sadly I missed out on opportunities. I just wasn't ready to leave. Before I knew it 10 years had passed. 10 Freaking years! I can't get back. I left for my children. I had to swallow my own discomfort and unhappiness for my kids. It's uncertainty that you're dealing with. Just know that if and when the fool goes to hit you and hits the baby-the law will likely hold YOU accountable. More so than him-because YOU are the mom and should be the protector.

I do understand the frustration. And in a way they are right about OP being sick. She and anyone in the situation, wants things to not get "messy" but they already are. They don't want to air "dirty laundry" but that bridge has been crossed and burned from the first moment he lays a hand on her! If she will think clearly she will realize that although he is not beating her physically 24/7 as she put it, she is in fear 24/7! With a damn child too. And surrounded by people that are all in support of him. You need to leave if not for yourself then the child. Woman up OP! You have some of the kindest women on here digging in their own damn pocket to help. Yet you still have excuses of not having anywhere to go?!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sbrooke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 07 2013 at 5:10am
It's great to see women that are willing to help other women .

Hopefully you get a clue and get out for your own good.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 07 2013 at 6:23am
Originally posted by **RuBy FoXx** **RuBy FoXx** wrote:

I'm afraid. a shelter would be so surreal then it would be records of the abuse a messy divorce custody battles etc
Yes, that is the point.
 
There would be RECORDS of the abuse etc...
 
This is your only choice because it's that .. or going back to getting hit and your child growing up to think this is the normal way for men and women to interact. If the child is a boy he will either grow up to be an abuser himself .. or if your child is girl, she will grow up to find a man that will beat her up as well.
 
GO PUBLIC!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote Spokenword Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 07 2013 at 7:38am
Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

And I got the side eye when I said her kid would grow up to be a woman beater.

are you the one that didn't call the police when you suspected child abuse or heard a baby crying, woman getting beat or something like that?
and then the baby was carried out on a stretcher or something days later? 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote Jewelsnyc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 07 2013 at 7:42am
Originally posted by Spokenword Spokenword wrote:

Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

And I got the side eye when I said her kid would grow up to be a woman beater.

are you the one that didn't call the police when you suspected child abuse or heard a baby crying, woman getting beat or something like that?
and then the baby was carried out on a stretcher or something days later? 

magic popcorn
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