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I just cant look after my hair and given up!

 
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Bee189xx View Drop Down
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    Posted: Apr 20 2013 at 5:09am
Background...

I'm 18 and living in the UK, don't really have any family or black friends where I live, it's just me and my mum at home, She's suffering from depression and some form of mental illness due to finances, possibly losing our home etc

Anyway that's by the by.....

I'M AT A TOTAL LOSS WITH MY HAIR!!! Cry

I've had it relaxed before in the past and then had it done about 2 months ago but it went wrong towards the ends was just all frizzy and dry and also it happened in the middle but the front is fine. I can't go to any hair salons or ask anyone, my mum get's hers done at her Hairdressers costing her about £100 a month and she can't even afford to pay her so she won't let me get mine done and I'd feel bad asking and I don't have any money to pay her upfront...

I'm a college student, and usually my hair regime will consist of putting replenishing conditioner on every day and massaging my hair with coconut oil hair conditioner. My hair has also broken off a lot at the back but is very thick at the top. It is completely unmanageable and I hate it :'( . My mum knows nothing about hair and stuff so that's why It's got in this mess since I was around 15 years old and I was never taught how to care for it and she just doesn't seem to care, her reply is always "Oh wack a bit of Dax on and it will be fine".  I wear clip in hair extensions and always put my hair into a bun, I hate having short hair and don't like not wearing extensions! I always usually moistorise and condition. Tie the back of my hair up (the short part in a separate bobble) and tie the rest in a bigger one to make a bun.

Due to very little money I can't buy loads of hair products and things. I also wash my hair once a week, maximum amount of heat that's applied to my hair is twice a month and that's only be blow drying, and I don't straighten it.

What should I do with my hair please help!!! Should I carry on conditioning it, relax it to make things easier? What do I do!!! :(

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MissAnnaMC View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MissAnnaMC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 21 2013 at 6:24pm
Big smile Hey i'm from the UK too and I know how frustrating it can be to try and put together a hair regimen when most of the people giving you advice aren't even in your country Wacko
But anyway, replenishing conditioner is a light protein treatment so you shouldn't use it everyday cause it'll bee too much for your hair

Also, unfortunately sometimes you need to spend some money to get the results so it's best to buy things that will be an investment and keep your hair reggie simple. Thumbs Up



Edited by MissAnnaMC - Apr 21 2013 at 6:29pm
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MissAnnaMC View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MissAnnaMC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 21 2013 at 6:30pm
I'd say buy the ORS moisturising lotion,  http://www.realbeauty.com/cm/realbeauty/s/zE/rby-hype-hair-Organic-Root-Stimulator--Moisturizing-Hair-Lotion-mdn.jpg - http://www.realbeauty.com/cm/realbeauty/images/zE/rby-hype-hair-Organic-Root-Stimulator--Moisturizing-Hair-Lotion-mdn.jpg this one, I think it's about £3 and it lasts a long time, for me about half a year. You should you that daily and nightly with your coconut oil.

Also washing your hair once a week is fine if it works for you (I do it) but you should get a cheap conditioner (herbal essence hello hydration can be found in a few £1 shops) and one week use the conditioner and the other the replenishing one. Some women don't find it necessary to shampoo their hair at all so maybe just co-washing will work for you.
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MissAnnaMC View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MissAnnaMC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 21 2013 at 6:36pm
(It's not letting me post long posts for some reason so I have to break it up)

I'd say cut out the clip in extensions cause the clips can sometimes be damaging. 
I was in the same position as you, my hair was breaking in the back but fine at the front. I stretched my relaxers and did a few protective styles:

One was using a silk scarf as a headscarf and tying a bow at the front, just to keep the back covered really
 
(I'm wearing a wig in the 2nd pic but I just wanted to show you what the bow looks like in the front)

Also, when I was doing some super protective styling I wore my headscarf fully and tied it in a knot at the back and just chucked on an old headband I found to style it out:


But these things helped me grow my hair out. Biotin helps for thickening and strengthing your hair and can be found at Holland and Barrett or online but it's not 100% necessary...but it does help. Hope this helps you


Edited by MissAnnaMC - Apr 21 2013 at 6:40pm
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Bee189xx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bee189xx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 23 2013 at 10:46am
Aww its fine, Cheers! Been a massive help so far :)

I was thinking about maybe getting a lace front wig and cut out the clips? Then changing it regularly so atleast I can still look after my natural hair and stuff and follow the regime....

Have you ever worn a lace front wig? It's just for like college and going out and stuff, don't want it to be unsecured/come out or anything!!!

x
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MissAnnaMC View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MissAnnaMC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 23 2013 at 10:48am
I would wear one but I just find the half wigs cheaper
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Bee189xx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bee189xx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 23 2013 at 11:49am
Okay thank you :)
Had a quick look, and the lace front's are way too expensive atm, so going to go for the half wigs or 3/4 wig and self relax the front of my hair to blend it
x
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote G.B.is_here Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2013 at 7:30am
Hi! I understand your hair frustration. Sometimes I want to rip mine out by the roots. Some things you can do that make a big difference but don't cost a lot of money:

1)Wrap your hair at night in silk scarf/silk cap to prevent breakage and drying while you sleep. Some sheets and pillow cases are hard on hair and skin. Cotton and some synthetics are really absorbent which is great if you sweat or have oily skin and hair- not so much for us dry girls. I keep saying I'm going to buy silk sheets some day. In the meantime, I found an old silk scarf at a second hand store that cost me a dollar and works great, at least for my hair. I just toss it in the wash on laundry day. It hasn't fallen apart yet.

2)Drink lots of water- at least 64 oz or about 1900 ml per day. That is bare minimum. I always try to drink a bit more. Sufficient water has to hydrate the more vital parts of your body before it ever reaches your skin, scalp, and hair follicles.

3)Get a water filter for the shower. Mine just screws on like a regular shower head. Mineral scale builds up on hair, makes it brittle and dry. A filter will reduce the mineral content of the water and improve your hair and skin's moisture and texture. Plus you will use less shampoo and conditioner than when the water is full of minerals and harder to lather and rinse with. So it costs up front but saves you money in the long run. I took mine with me when I moved. When I remember, I'll take it with me on a weekend away. It really does make a difference you can feel if you have hard water. It just it depends on where you live. In my city I can check my water's mineral content at the city website- which is also a real eye-opener if you care about levels of toxins, mercury, lead and the like in your water. That can't possibly be good for hair either.

4)Use distilled water in a spray bottle to mist your hair daily. Hair is mostly water and loves the right kind of moisture. Distilled water is mineral-free- pure moisture.

5)Switch to a sulphate-free shampoo. There are a few that cost about the same as regular shampoos (at least in the US.) They are much less drying and harsh.

6)Olive oil (I use extra virgin from the grocery store) is pretty cheap and works great, for my hair at least. The only oil that seems to do more good for me is argan oil. I look for deals online or at Sally's for that. I found some a few months ago at drugstore dot com for a really good price.

7)Make some good black girl friends at college. I always trade products that don't work for me with friends and family. Nothing goes to waste that way and we all get to try lots of different products without going broke. Plus that doesn't even touch on the real benefits of somebody who understands and has your back.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Good luck with your hair. I wish you and your mum all the best.

Edited by G.B.is_here - May 11 2013 at 8:29am
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G.B.is_here View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote G.B.is_here Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2013 at 8:20am
Hi MissAnnaMC! I love the headband over the scarf in your second picture. So cute! Since I spend a lot of my life up under a scarf, I'm totally going to rock that look!
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ClassicBeautee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ClassicBeautee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 13 2013 at 5:01pm
You could watch hair care tutorials on youtube or search for hair regimens on the forum and take recommendations on haircare products that have worked for different users. Do you know how to do your own sew-ins? I learned how to braid and it was the best thing that ever happened to me lol.. I saved so much money on sew-ins and was able to grow my hair out without the use of heat or chemicals.

Edited by ClassicBeautee - Jun 13 2013 at 5:02pm
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