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SamoneLenior
Platinum Member
Joined: Oct 06 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 185964
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:03pm |
rickysrose wrote:
I think it backfires
when the person doesn't want to be the student anymore
but still gets treated like one
you both have to make the shift to equals around the same time for this fixer-upper thing to work long term
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or the teacher gets tired of being the teacher
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jonesable
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 12 2010
Location: SC
Status: Offline
Points: 203173
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:04pm |
beebeexx wrote:
jonesable wrote:
tropical-punch wrote:
ScorpioLuv wrote:
For what? He's laughing at this now. I've helped him be healthy and start to get his life together, something his mom failed at. So huh? | OP, I don't know your man but I hope all this upgrading you did to him doesn't goes in vain and eventually leave you single.
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I always hated this viewpoint. When you help someone you do it for them not for you. That seems kinda selfish.
If she did it for goodness sake it won't be in vain whether they stay together or not |
girl you put your all into a man. make him emotionally, mentally, physically, soulfully, intellectually better and have him drop you without so much as a thank you... and then revisit that opinion.
believe me its not about selfishness at all.
| I dont want a fix him up man though . That's why I usually go for older . I don't see why I'd put my blood sweat in tears into my boyfriend anyway. But yeah I believe if you give , then give and forget about it and never speak of it again. Saying it was all in vain if it doesn't work out does seem selfish to me. I'm not sayi you won't feel slighted and hurt but to think it was all for naught? Yeah that seems selfish imo Plus sometimes ish doesn't work out. That person isn't bound to you just bc you did them a few favors. It can be much appreciated but sometimes it's time to leave
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nitabug
Elite Member
Joined: Sep 25 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 220939
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:07pm |
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I've fixed up a few men. To this day, they all now know how to provide. Every last one has called me and thanked me. I am happy for the next chic. I don't wont them back either.
But I am not interested in that sh*t no more. I always felt like I was girlfriend purgatory/what ya momma and pops didn't teach you boot camp.
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beebeexx
Elite Member
Joined: May 05 2010
Location: philly
Status: Offline
Points: 17539
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:08pm |
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i dont think the posters were just referring to the relationship ending or not working out, but about him "getting on" and suddenly becoming too good for her or whatever. it's a thing. i've seen it happen. for a multitude of reasons.
no they aren't obligated to stay around but it can feel like you're being used. like now that they feel better about themselves THEN they feel like they are ready to move on from the relationship. as if its time to end cause they've gotten everything they could from it. it's not always a conscious thing either
i'll be damned if someone else gets to reap the benefits of my hard work... <<now thats possibly selfish i admit. but sh*t.
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SamoneLenior
Platinum Member
Joined: Oct 06 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 185964
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:09pm |
nitabug wrote:
I've fixed up a few men. To this day, they all now know how to provide. Every last one has called me and thanked me. I am happy for the next chic. I don't wont them back either.
But I am not interested in that sh*t no more. I always felt like I was girlfriend purgatory/what ya momma and pops didn't teach you boot camp.
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lol yes, I really want people to raise their kids.....sheesh
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jonesable
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 12 2010
Location: SC
Status: Offline
Points: 203173
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:09pm |
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Yes you have to balance those things. Being a good person ain't the same as being someone's fool.
But saying your good doing is all for naught just comes off odd to me. It wasn't all for naught if you help that person imp
Edited by jonesable - Feb 20 2013 at 3:10pm
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Flowing-Ice
Elite Member
Joined: Feb 27 2010
Location: Fanm Sa Move
Status: Offline
Points: 96658
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:11pm |
if she's posting naked pictures, why would the brother still be friends with her on facebook i agree with whoever said its hypocritical to think that all the issues that the brother has qualifies him to hate and disrespect his family; yet you don't believe that her background probably is effecting her decisions right now.
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ms_wonderland
Elite Member
Joined: Apr 05 2009
Location: TTT
Status: Offline
Points: 166931
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:12pm |
a guy with no mother relationship that needs such severe upgrading is def looking for a mother, not a gf. thats prob why he wasn't tryna fk at first, she was mama bear to him. luckily, he grew out of that but this dude is gonna get on her damn nerves by the 1 yr mark.
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Flowing-Ice
Elite Member
Joined: Feb 27 2010
Location: Fanm Sa Move
Status: Offline
Points: 96658
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:13pm |
i don't think she's upgrading him. she's not spending money on him. tbh, she's not even doing the work.
he's bettering himself. thats not something she can take credit for. 
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jonesable
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 12 2010
Location: SC
Status: Offline
Points: 203173
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Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 3:14pm |
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I don't know what she is doing.
I guess I'm giving my commentary on some posts I've seen
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