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How would you handle this?

 
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bebe88 View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 4:42pm
Long story modified.

My hubby and I have a 1 year old son.

We went back home to Miami for the 1st and left bby there so he can spend time with his grandparents.

Bby is supposed to stay until march.

Prob is my mom has him ALL THE TIME. My mom just went back to school and has a tight schedule. My mom has some help w the bby but she feels some kind of way bc my mom n law is barely available to watch bby. On average she keeps bby twice a week for a few hours.

Her excuse is she has things to do and can't take bby w her.

But my mom has things to do as well but she takes bby w her anyway ( her doc appointments, grocery shopping, anywhere she needs to go except school)

Also when my mom n law actually watches him, she never offers to pick him up from my mom. My mom ALWAYS has to drop him off and pick him up...no matter the time.

We left bby there to spend a couple months with both sides of his family but only my side is actually stepping up.

My mom doesn't want me to tell hubby. My mom does not want to speak up and cause drama...but I know it pisses her off. I'm to the point now that I'm just ready to go down and pick him up...we wanted to wait until we moved to a new place first though...

Should I tell hubby? Stay quiet and keep listening to my mom vent? Or just go pick up bby....even though my mom isn't ready for him to leave yet? Or should me n hubby talk to his mom?

Hubby's mom was not in his life growing up btw....
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Princess_S View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (41) Thanks(41)   Quote Princess_S Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 4:45pm

Go pick up YOUR child cause its inconveniencing YOUR mom.

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bebe88 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote bebe88 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 4:51pm
Yes, I literally just spoke to my mom and told her we will be there for him next weekend.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Tbaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 4:53pm
IA w/ Princess S.  Why your mom assumed your MIL was going to help more is a fail on her part (your mom's).  Get your child and that way there's no more drama.  Don't talk to hubby about it--that might just worsen your relationship with your MIL.    And you can't "force" your MIL to take your kid if she doesn't want to...


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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (21) Thanks(21)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 4:54pm
what i am gonna say sounds rough: your mom is trying to improve herself and she has already raised her child[ren].  your child is not her job and it should not be an excessive burden for her in the least.  it sounds like you did not just drop the child off to "just spend time w/grandparents." 3 months is a loooong time and I truly feel like you both are avoiding your duties as parents by burdening your mother like that and are being selfish.

Edited by EPITOME - Jan 31 2013 at 4:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote bunzaveli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 4:58pm
^ oooooooooooooooo
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bebe88 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (13) Thanks(13)   Quote bebe88 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:00pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:


what i am gonna say sounds rough: your mom is trying to improve herself and she has already raised her child[ren].  your child is not her job and it should not be an excessive burden for her in the least.  it sounds like you did not just drop the child off to "just spend time w/grandparents." 3 months is a loooong time and I truly feel like you both are avoiding your duties as parents by burdening your mother like that and are being selfish.
I can see why you feel this way but you don't know us our our entire situation. He went down there in part so we could work on things that would benefit all of us...especially him.

Anywho, that's your opinion...no hard feelings at all.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote bubblyboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:03pm
Man that would kind of hurt my feelings. I don't know a grandparent who doesn't luuuub the granbabies. I think you should go and get your son and don't bother with the mil spending time with your bby boy. Let whoever wants to be involved be involved on their own accord. 
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (8) Thanks(8)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:05pm
Ok..then say your mom is watching the kid bc yall are trying to improve yourselves...nothing wrong with that and imo sounds better than grandparent time. bc if it's bc yall are working on something then it seems like more of a necessity and your mothers sacrifice makes more sense, rather than..we were tryna be on a kid free vacay for 3 months kwim?

anyway it seems like your mom is being forced to act as a single mom in this situation which isn't fair.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote madame pink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:05pm
Go get YOUR baby and all this wont be an issue. It is really no point to talk with the MIL as this is your child. Yes you prob had an agreement however that is your child. The child can spend time with the grandparents for longer durations when he is much older. Until then there is family vacations.
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