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Tbaby View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:19pm
what does fwiw mean, Pity?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:19pm
I agree that you should go and get your son but I see you want to respect your mother's wishes and not tell your husband about his mother. However, won't your husband want to know why you are going to get the baby early since it was agreed that he would be there until March? What would you tell him, I think not talking to your husband first about it may be a bad move.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:21pm
Originally posted by Tbaby Tbaby wrote:

what does fwiw mean, Pity?

for what it's worth
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:22pm
your mil meant she'd spend some time with the baby. That meant just what it sounded like. She wants to do it on her schedule and when it is onvenient to her.

Nothing to be mad at imo, if people arent taking care of your baby like you'd prefer, if your mother is overwhelmed, go get her - that's YOUR child.

You could mention it to your husband, hopefully he'll let you vent, and ou all will go get your child. The reality is probably that she meant it when she said she'd help out, but when She got to thinking about bottles, diapers, crying and all of that, she changed her mind.

That's probably why she didn't have any more kids of her own.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:24pm
Yep--your marriage trumps mom's wishes here.  He needs to know what's going on. 

Edited by Tbaby - Jan 31 2013 at 5:28pm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:25pm
Originally posted by freedom76 freedom76 wrote:

How can you go and get your baby if your husband doesn't know the real reason? DO NOT LIE TO YOUR HUSBAND!!!!!
If her mom has the baby primarily then she can just say its too much for her mom She (BEBE) thinks they should go get him. She isnt lying. But she doesnt have to bring it up out the gate just to keep the peace.
 
At the end of the day its your kid you cant expect mom to keep him for 3 months to better your lives. You guys are gonna just have to make bigger sacrifices and find a way to make it work with him there. 3 months is a bit long. 2 weeks is spending time . 3 months she might as well claim him on her taxes next yr. LOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:28pm
Originally posted by Princess_S Princess_S wrote:

Originally posted by freedom76 freedom76 wrote:

How can you go and get your baby if your husband doesn't know the real reason? DO NOT LIE TO YOUR HUSBAND!!!!!
If her mom has the baby primarily then she can just say its too much for her mom She (BEBE) thinks they should go get him. She isnt lying. But she doesnt have to bring it up out the gate just to keep the peace.
 
At the end of the day its your kid you cant expect mom to keep him for 3 months to better your lives. You guys are gonna just have to make bigger sacrifices and find a way to make it work with him there. 3 months is a bit long. 2 weeks is spending time . 3 months she might as well claim him on her taxes next yr. LOL


True at the bold. That is also saying "Honey your mother isn't helping!" That is the same thing. Why beat around the bush? Say "baby, moms can't do this by herself. Your mother really isn't helping  much. It is OK, but I think we should go and get him." Easy peasy. Unless her husband is an idiot, he will know her mother said something to her.
I would also talk to the MIL. A quick phone call, but I have a good relationship with mine. So it is probably different.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:34pm
Tell your husband, not in a your mama aint shyt way, but more like

"we'd better go get the baby since my mom is back in school and your mom is so busy too. I think the baby was a little bit much for them. I thought your mom would help out more, but i know babies are a lot of work."

Btw, i don't know who lied to you younger people to make u think that your parents will be falling over themselves to raise your children. In an emergency, sure. Just because you're moving and 'working on summin' maybe, but i doubt it.

Weekends, summer breaks for older kids fine, 3 MONTHS with a one year old?????? Nope.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:42pm
Originally posted by freedom76 freedom76 wrote:

Originally posted by Princess_S Princess_S wrote:

Originally posted by freedom76 freedom76 wrote:

How can you go and get your baby if your husband doesn't know the real reason? DO NOT LIE TO YOUR HUSBAND!!!!!
If her mom has the baby primarily then she can just say its too much for her mom She (BEBE) thinks they should go get him. She isnt lying. But she doesnt have to bring it up out the gate just to keep the peace.
 
At the end of the day its your kid you cant expect mom to keep him for 3 months to better your lives. You guys are gonna just have to make bigger sacrifices and find a way to make it work with him there. 3 months is a bit long. 2 weeks is spending time . 3 months she might as well claim him on her taxes next yr. LOL


True at the bold. That is also saying "Honey your mother isn't helping!" That is the same thing. Why beat around the bush? Say "baby, moms can't do this by herself. Your mother really isn't helping  much. It is OK, but I think we should go and get him." Easy peasy. Unless her husband is an idiot, he will know her mother said something to her.
I would also talk to the MIL. A quick phone call, but I have a good relationship with mine. So it is probably different.
 
I really think this can be left out until her husband asks So what about my mom?  And then if he brings it up she can go into detail. Sometimes (based on people's relationships) saying less is more. This isnt an issue within just her , hubby and her mom. its kinda like she is getting third party info. Her mom's idea of helping out alot and MIL idea may be too different things and MIL sees nothing wrong with her way. I say dont create extra excitement.
At least we all agree she needs to go get her munchkin and bring him home. and since she already decided on doing that why create an extra excitement.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 5:55pm
Its wasn't moms responsibility in the first place so u cant really be mad at her imo she tried and it ran its course. No need to be salty just go get ur child and raise it. If the husband needed a reason it simply be it became to much and its best the child came home........ 
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