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Peachez607 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: How to teach kids about Good Touch/Bad Touch
    Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 11:34am
I know its probably too early to teach my daughter about how to handle things if someone touches her in an inappropriate way. She will be 2 years old in a few weeks but she understands and catches on the things quickly. I am just so nervous about how life will be when she gets older. People are doing all types of bad things to children!
 
How old were your kids when u taught them about good touch/bad touch?
 
How did u teach it to them?
 
Did they understand?
 
If a situation like that has already happened to them, how did they handle it?
 
 


Edited by salex142 - Mar 08 2007 at 12:20pm
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BlackDymonD View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 12:15pm

Salex this is a great question.

I am struggling with the same scenario with my 2 year old son...I was molested so I started talking to him about it when I had him (sounds weird I know but I REFUSE to let my son suffer the way I have suffered all of my life from that happening to me). Everytime I give him a bath I talk to him and let him know to come and tell me about anything, especially someone touching him in his 'special places'!
 
So, I'm with you Salex...I would like to know if anyone has a more 'child friendly' way of discussing this with their child(ren).
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flawless View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 12:20pm
ha...i remember the good touch bad touch talk when i was a little girl ...i had to be like 4yrs old when my mom was explaining it to me...Trust it stayed with me to this day...so ...I say you teach that stuff to your Kids..ASAP...when they know how to use the bathroom...know how to talk and know when they are using the bathroom.....
 
 


Edited by flawless - Mar 08 2007 at 12:20pm
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icysweet View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 12:23pm
Here's and Idea when you are changing her diaper or washing her up... I would say baby only mommy (or whoever else washes her)is supposed to touch you here, Its a nono for anyone to touch u here.. if anyone touches there you tell them no no and tell me.
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OUWE View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 12:30pm
I would start talking right now.  I have talked to my necies and my nephews from the time they started talking and my oldest niece understand a little.  I told her NOBODY touches the Tooty or her booty.  I have told her to tell me all her secrets, and I would tell her mine.  
 
 
I did a search and this is what I found.
 
“Good touch, bad touch”

Talk to your children about touching. Teach them what is inappropriate

touching. Most child abuse and molestations are perpetrated by people

the child knows.  Teach children examples of ‘good touching’: hug, holding hands and touching areas of the body which are “public”. Tell the child ‘bad touching’ is the area where a child’s swimsuit covers; what we call the ‘private parts’ of our body. Teach your child they are to tell you (the parent) if someone

tries to touch their private parts. Tell them it is right to talk to you (the parent)

even if the person tells your child to keep it a secret.

Funny feeling”

Teach your child one of the ways we know when something is wrong are the times when our tummy feels ‘funny’; the tummy feels like a million butterflies are flying around inside. When a person feels this way, it’s their tummy telling their brain something is wrong. Stress to your child if they ever get this feeling they need to share it with you. Tell them by sharing this feeling with you this funny feeling will go away.  By doing this, you will help your child to develop and understand the perception of feeling uncomfortable, or of being in possible danger. Share with your child that grown-ups feel this way too when they feel uncomfortable, or scared and this will help your child to understand. Reassure your child them these feelings in grown-ups go away when we make choices to

be safe or go to safety.

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BJ View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 12:35pm
Its never too early to teach them. If she can understand the word no and what it entails, she can understand the good touching and bad touching.
 
With my children and students I taught them at the age of 2 and reinforce it every couple of weeks.
 
At circle time I would talk about doctors and what to expect during a visit. They would then be told where a doctor may touch them.
 
I then taught the appropirate names for the private parts and each private parts function.  After a couple of giggles the kids were able to identify their parts.
 
Then we talked about family members including parents. We discussed how thier parents will have to touch thier private areas with a washcloth to help them clean themselves or change a diaper of a smaller sibling.
 
We talked about good Touching
Pats on the head, back, hugs.
 
 
Then we talked about the bad touching/behavior.
Pictures of people without clothes
Touching private parts
Rubbing private parts
 
I explained also that the bad touching occurs when a grownup or another child touches your private areas or make you touch thiers.
 
I stressed that under no circumstance should an adult or child touch you on or inside your private parts. They should not ask you to look at or touch thiers.
 
I stress that if this happens do not be afraid to tell Mommy or Daddy. They can help.  If its  Mommy or Daddy dont be afraid to tell the teacher.
 
I also tell them, that some times people will make you feel afraid to tell, but no one can help you if you dont tell.
 
I feel that as mothers we also have to model behaviors that show our children how to say NO. If we appear to be pushovers and have a hard time standing up for ourselves and saying NO, children learn that behavior.
 
Setting boundaries for yourself can also show your child whats innapropriate.
 
Also, dont make your children give others hugs, ect. Give them an option to do so if they want to.
 
Hope this helps. It has helped the parents I work with to better talk with thier children and reinforce what is learned in class.
 
Just take into account your childs age and comprehension level wwhen introducing these concepts.
 
Like you I dont trust anyone with my kids. I keep them with me ALL day, lol!
 
BJ


Edited by billyjean - Mar 08 2007 at 12:37pm
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Peachez607 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 12:42pm
Thats great advice ladies! Im gonna try to start using this with my daughter
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KhandiGirl! View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 12:45pm
Originally posted by icysweet icysweet wrote:

Here's and Idea when you are changing her diaper or washing her up... I would say baby only mommy (or whoever else washes her)is supposed to touch you here, Its a nono for anyone to touch u here.. if anyone touches there you tell them no no and tell me.
 
That is exactly how I told my kids... both at around 2 years old.
 
While I was bathing them in the tub, I would tell them which areas only mommy, granny, or neenah (their grandmothers) can touch.  After drilling that into their heads for a while, I'd "quiz" them while I was bathing them... asking "who is allowed to touch you here?" "when are they allowed to touch you there?" (the answer to that would be in the tubby, or after they used the toilet...)
 
There's no foolproof way to do it, but as long as they know that the "special spots" are off limits, they'll be better off...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 12:47pm
That is excellent advice, billyjean!!!! Clap
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icysweet View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 08 2007 at 12:52pm
My sister asks my niece because she will tell you she's 4. Did anyone touch you today? She said yes Ashly hit me but No one can touch my cookie or my boo boo.

Does anyone think that this is too much for a child of 4 to say or do?
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