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carabunga View Drop Down
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    Posted: May 25 2014 at 3:30pm
From my experience of dating douchbags and reading forums online, I've learned that in order to avoid being hurt you need to stop taking people's word for it. But how can one tell if what a guy is saying to you is complete and utter bullsh*t or not? It seems guys will go through great lengths now-a-days.. They will tell you they love you and will promise to never do you dirty just to end up doing the same things they said they wouldn't. Should I just ingore everything any guy says to me in the future?

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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2014 at 5:35pm
You gotta look at their actions, hun. Does his actions match up with his words?

How does he act when he doesn't know you're looking?

I pay more attention to action!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2014 at 6:16pm
I think one should first and foremost love herself, that way she won't fall into the i-don't-want-to-be-alone rat race and stick with a guy whom she knows is cheating/lying.

Many women do not trust their men and are all over his facebook, twitter, phone, just to see if anyone else has been around them. That is a sign that the girl knows something is up, but she chooses to be stressing herself instead of bidding goodbye to the guy and enjoy her single life/find a new guy.

It is hard to catch a man on a lie because many are so used to lying in order to keep the main chick, that they will tell her anything to keep her on a leash - but not too short of a leash so he can continue to stray. Actions are important, and if his actions don't match his words, it is better to be single.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2014 at 6:18pm
By the way, in the meantime, anyone could check out the file on this thread; which may help to be ready for the next relationship.

ps: I haven't read it but I saw many threads and posts about it, so I think it might help.
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 26 2014 at 4:41am
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

I think one should first and foremost love herself, that way she won't fall into the i-don't-want-to-be-alone rat race and stick with a guy whom she knows is cheating/lying.

Many women do not trust their men and are all over his facebook, twitter, phone, just to see if anyone else has been around them. That is a sign that the girl knows something is up, but she chooses to be stressing herself instead of bidding goodbye to the guy and enjoy her single life/find a new guy.

It is hard to catch a man on a lie because many are so used to lying in order to keep the main chick, that they will tell her anything to keep her on a leash - but not too short of a leash so he can continue to stray. Actions are important, and if his actions don't match his words, it is better to be single.


Major cosign, self-love is highly important.

Actually OP, you've posted some threads here before featuring rather toxic man trouble.

Please take a break from dating. I want you to get comfortable with yourself. Take the time to heal yourself and build up your confidence and self-love.

Definitely read the books in the thread SaF linked, the books do detail on working with guys but if there's one thing that is the core of the book's principles, it's SELF LOVE.

Self love is highly necessary and the driving force in you being respected and accepting the men you want. You're no doormat. Why take men who will walk on you?

You take the time to get comfortable with yourself. Take the time to love yourself and ingrain it in every fiber of your being that if a man comes your way, he better be a good man if he's going to stay in your presence or you're walking away. Self love is loving yourself enough to give yourself quality and not settle for less just because it's there.

Take a good and long break, hun. I think your heart needs healing. Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 26 2014 at 8:23am
I agree with the above women.

You have to realize your POWER as a woman and use it.

The ONLY way to avoid heartache IMO is to know your VALUE. You have to BELIEVE you are somebody. If you don't believe it - lie to yourself because if you keep telling yourself that you are somebody worth more ... eventually you will 'brainwash' yourself into believing you are a beautiful person the deserves the BEST in this world.

Once you know this, you will comport yourself differently so when a guy approaches you ... you are not so quick get involved (make him wonder) or give yourself (make him wait for sex for MONTHS) because you can easily 'separate the chaff from the wheat' just by the way he acts, the way he lives his life and the way he treats people.

So all the loser type men (the chaff) will fall away because they just wanted to use you anyway and the 'wheat' (the decent men) .. will stick around to see if they can build something real with you.

Granted MOST guys are the 'chaff' at any given time ... that is a given so a smart girl has got to realize this basic fact or she will waste time getting used by men that were 'chaff' but she tried to turn them into the 'wheat'.

Some of these losers CAN and will turn things around later in life and become relationship material - but it's gotta be HIS IDEA .. not yours. You can't make him see you are perfect for him - that will always fail. A love match is about 'timing'.

Read self-help books on how to love yourself and read Relationship coaching books so you will learn HOW MEN THINK. Enjoy your life WITHOUT making GUY your main focus in life.

I could tell you a lot more ... if you PM me.

Edited by Printer_Ink - May 26 2014 at 9:39am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AriesBabe09 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 05 2014 at 9:29pm
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

I think one should first and foremost love herself, that way she won't fall into the i-don't-want-to-be-alone rat race and stick with a guy whom she knows is cheating/lying.

Many women do not trust their men and are all over his facebook, twitter, phone, just to see if anyone else has been around them. That is a sign that the girl knows something is up, but she chooses to be stressing herself instead of bidding goodbye to the guy and enjoy her single life/find a new guy.

It is hard to catch a man on a lie because many are so used to lying in order to keep the main chick, that they will tell her anything to keep her on a leash - but not too short of a leash so he can continue to stray. Actions are important, and if his actions don't match his words, it is better to be single.



Major cosign, self-love is highly important.

Actually OP, you've posted some threads here before featuring rather toxic man trouble.

Please take a break from dating. I want you to get comfortable with yourself. Take the time to heal yourself and build up your confidence and self-love.

Definitely read the books in the thread SaF linked, the books do detail on working with guys but if there's one thing that is the core of the book's principles, it's SELF LOVE.

Self love is highly necessary and the driving force in you being respected and accepting the men you want. You're no doormat. Why take men who will walk on you?

You take the time to get comfortable with yourself. Take the time to love yourself and ingrain it in every fiber of your being that if a man comes your way, he better be a good man if he's going to stay in your presence or you're walking away. Self love is loving yourself enough to give yourself quality and not settle for less just because it's there.

Take a good and long break, hun. I think your heart needs healing. Smile


This advice is so sincere and so tru I hope you listen to it OP. Self love is so important and taking a break from dating is essential. It took me yearsssss to figure that out.
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