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Topic ClosedHow to deal with ignorant comments?

 
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glamaddict View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: How to deal with ignorant comments?
    Posted: Apr 30 2010 at 12:14pm
Hey ladies, I went natural about 16 months ago and I am really getting tired of negative comments about my choice (mostly from older female relatives in my family).  I have always had a head full of hair that is really thick, but I got tired of putting chemicals in my hair so I went natural. My mom, aunts, sisters and cousins acted as if I committed murder when I cut my shoulder length bone straight dresses down to the new growth LOL!
 
I started wearing braids, twists and curly afros. My hair is now longer than its original length (in fact my hair has never been so strong and healthy), and my family members can't understand why I would want to wear my hair natural. They keep saying I'm gonna buy you a perm, You need a perm, or why don't you let ME perm your hair. At first i would laugh it off, but now it's just getting annoying and insulting. I have fallen in love with the texture of my hair, and I don't see any reason to permanently change it. I mean if I want a change i will rock a wig, weave or hit it with the ceramics, but why do people have so much concern over how i choose to wear my hair?
 
How can i tell them to back off without being rude?
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renee728 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 30 2010 at 3:20pm
IMO - no comment is the best comment.  I know how my sisters are acting with me right now because I haven't had a relaxer in 7 months and my hair not bone straight as it has been for years and they look at me like I am a totally different person that they have never seen before!!!  LOL  I find it really amusing.  But as far as rude comments - I don't think they are being that way intentionally - they just don't understand  - I say ignore it - whenever they as you if you want a perm or want them to give you one - just smile and walk away.  No comment usually speaks for itself.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 30 2010 at 4:01pm
I've had the same problem but only with people in my family that are 30+yrs old. One thing that you can do is tell them very seriously that whether they are joking or not it hurts your feelings. And explain to them why you choose to do this with your hair. I know it's VERY silly that people look at you differently for wearing your hair NATURAL and think you have to put some kind of chemical on it. Hell, they'll love your hair if it has a tex in it and it can look like another natural girl's curl with the tex. There's just something about chemicals :/ But for now the best thing to do is to stay proud and continue growing your hair and be honest with them. Seems like us naturals have to take the polite route because our hair is so "rude" to others. But one day they'll be jealous of your hair if they're not already.

Also I would go to the natural section and post something like this :P the ladies there are very supportive!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 05 2010 at 9:00pm
I'm 48 years old and I was raised to embrace various cultures, differences etc.  Unfortunately it  seems some folks have to give their opinion even though you haven't asked for it.
 
One lady at the Kingdom Hall I go to has gone natural. Some of the Sisters looked at her like she said she murdered Jesus. She was self conscious at first but now she's embracing it. I love her natural hair. I told her Jehovah isn't looking at your head, He's looking at your heart.
 
I wear wigs straight, curly etc. I have noticed how I'm treated by some black people when I have the curly hair in. When I'm wearing my straight hair, older black folks will tell me "ooh your hair is so pretty". I smile thank them and tell them it's a wig LOL.  When I'm wearing curly, I get alot of compliments from other races. Living in Chicago, I notice there are more women wearing natural styles in certain areas than others.
Unfortunately there are people who think of beauty a certain way.
 
 
Just remember Jehovah God and Jesus aren't looking at your head, they're looking at your heart
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 08 2010 at 1:26am
Unfortunately there will always be people with ignorant comments. Sometimes it's sincere ignorance, sometimes it's even jealousy. All you can do is politely let them know that it's your choice and you love it that way and you are not going to change it for anyone but yourself.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2010 at 12:32pm
I'd make a joke about them having a slave mentality and being in love with the creamy crack. Every time my folks cracked on my hair, saying I had that "Negro hair" and what not, I'd let em' know about their mentality and how THATS why most black women walk around bald headed (because of their obsession with relaxers...even putting that mess on 3 year olds if they can). That always shuts them up. Don't be afraid to go hard on them if they're goin hard on you.
 
Or you could just explain to them (like your mom) that it really hurts you when she makes statements like that and tel her that she doesn't have to LIKE you being natural but it's YOUR decision and you have never been happier. Just ask her to have enough respect for you to not make offensive jokes. Smile
 
Originally posted by glamaddict glamaddict wrote:

Hey ladies, I went natural about 16 months ago and I am really getting tired of negative comments about my choice (mostly from older female relatives in my family).  I have always had a head full of hair that is really thick, but I got tired of putting chemicals in my hair so I went natural. My mom, aunts, sisters and cousins acted as if I committed murder when I cut my shoulder length bone straight dresses down to the new growth LOL!
 
I started wearing braids, twists and curly afros. My hair is now longer than its original length (in fact my hair has never been so strong and healthy), and my family members can't understand why I would want to wear my hair natural. They keep saying I'm gonna buy you a perm, You need a perm, or why don't you let ME perm your hair. At first i would laugh it off, but now it's just getting annoying and insulting. I have fallen in love with the texture of my hair, and I don't see any reason to permanently change it. I mean if I want a change i will rock a wig, weave or hit it with the ceramics, but why do people have so much concern over how i choose to wear my hair?
 
How can i tell them to back off without being rude?
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Nisha View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 11 2010 at 2:03pm
When I am attacked, I simply tell the truth.
 
Ask them why they are attacking you over some hair and being so rude???
 
Tell them that these put-downs are making you feel very uncomfortable.
 
This often leaves bullies speechless.
 
 
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newbee27 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 18 2010 at 5:18pm
I just tell them that the majority of other races wear their hair in its natural state...so why should I be any different?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2010 at 3:15am
Originally posted by glamaddict glamaddict wrote:

Hey ladies, I went natural about 16 months ago and I am really getting tired of negative comments about my choice (mostly from older female relatives in my family).  I have always had a head full of hair that is really thick, but I got tired of putting chemicals in my hair so I went natural. My mom, aunts, sisters and cousins acted as if I committed murder when I cut my shoulder length bone straight dresses down to the new growth LOL!
 
I started wearing braids, twists and curly afros. My hair is now longer than its original length (in fact my hair has never been so strong and healthy), and my family members can't understand why I would want to wear my hair natural. They keep saying I'm gonna buy you a perm, You need a perm, or why don't you let ME perm your hair. At first i would laugh it off, but now it's just getting annoying and insulting. I have fallen in love with the texture of my hair, and I don't see any reason to permanently change it. I mean if I want a change i will rock a wig, weave or hit it with the ceramics, but why do people have so much concern over how i choose to wear my hair?
 
How can i tell them to back off without being rude?


That's all that matters. It's your hair, and you have every right to treat it the way you want to. Please, I encourage you to stay motivated and don't let comments affect you. Continue to embrace your hair and be thankful for it. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful head of hair Smile

But, if it's really bothering you... just let them know that you don't appreciate them making those type of comments to you. Let them know about the effort you put in your hair and hopefully they will be more respectful of it. Best wishes to you and HHJ!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 08 2010 at 11:28pm
I'm not natural but, I understand where you are coming from. My family is all mixed up with different races and they frown upon me religiously moisturizing my hair. I get it all the time!!!!
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