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Topic ClosedHow to deal with a negative family member

 
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Midna View Drop Down
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Points: 236079 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:46am
Originally posted by Ladydlite Ladydlite wrote:

Yes, this person lives in the house with me.
 
I have told them about their behavior on numerous occasions and we've had nasty fights as a result. They have made vile comments about me and I'm really just done with it and them.
 
I do not pay for their college education but for another member of the family.


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Becky View Drop Down
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Points: 10075 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 2:46am
Originally posted by Ladydlite Ladydlite wrote:

Yes, this person lives in the house with me.
 
I have told them about their behavior on numerous occasions and we've had nasty fights as a result. They have made vile comments about me and I'm really just done with it and them.
 
I do not pay for their college education but for another member of the family.
 
I agree with modelbusiness8 - cut them out of your life completely. It's the only way.
 
This person is clearly very jealous and resentful of you - probably started years ago when you were just kids - but has grown and grown over the years and that's why every other thing you say causes that over the top reaction.
 
You will absolutely never win in a such a situation. Best to cut her free and leave her to her fate ... or she will continue to hurt you.
 
I have had the same experience .. best thing I ever did was to get these people out of my life - for good. Confused
 
As a matter of fact - I had a good friend that was surrounded by family members that kept cutting her to bits. Yes, told her to cut off these people - but she loved them too much. It made her so sick though, stomach problems, extreme weight gain, loss of hair etc.. and finally .. she passed.
 
It was heart-breaking. DeadDeadDead The sad part is .. this same rotten family took poccession of all her money and her house which was considerable. Shocked 
  
If this person lives with you - give her a 30 written day notice to vacate. Period. No conversation.
It's your flippen house. Shocked


Edited by Becky - Dec 03 2012 at 3:06am
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afrokock View Drop Down
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Points: 1266520 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 3:02am
put the home on the market

that way they know you mean business even if you dont intend to sell just yet,

Edited by afrokock - Dec 03 2012 at 3:03am
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khivey View Drop Down
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Points: 20093 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 4:23am
the person sounds bipolar and hung up on the past. avoid being around when they are...if that means staying away from until they go to bed etc..do it. 
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Points: 78715 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 4:35am
If I'm paying my money to live in the home, no way am I going to let someone else bully me in my own space.  Put her on ignore when she starts some foolishness and walk away. 

And seriously, if your mental health is threatened, then possibly you have to let the family member you are supporting take a semester break while you resettle somewhere else.   
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Points: 21803 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 6:38am
Is this a husband? Leave him
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bunzaveli View Drop Down
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Points: 252576 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 6:42am
my response depends on how ratchet you were in the past and exactly they keep bringing up. 
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Points: 1266520 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 7:14am
Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

my response depends on how ratchet you were in the past and exactly they keep bringing up. 
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Organic View Drop Down
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Points: 55578 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 8:36am
OP, your family member sounds annoying and hateful.

This is one of those situations where you really have to be comfortable in your own skin. By that, I mean that you have to change your mind since you can't change your location. You have to figure out a way to not let their words affect you. Like others have mentioned, do not be afraid to remove yourself from all forms of communication, and be COMFORTABLE and CONVICTED in doing so. Realize that the household may be tense for a while, but it is for your own good (and it really is already tense, so it's not like you're missing out on anything)

Tell them straight up, 'don't talk to me, and I will not talk to you. Ignore me, and I will ignore you', go to your room, turn on your favorite song, and don't give a single 'eff' afterwards.

If you can't escape your physical prison, free your mind so that you can cope. 

Oh, and lots of times people bring up a hurtful past because they see that you are progressing and doing good things, so they want to 'remind' you that 'you really ain't all that'. This is usually the case when you grow and develop, and they do not. You must be doing something right since this person is so hell-bent on hurting you and reminding you of how 'bad' you used to be.

Keep on keepin' on, OP. Good luck!
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Chyna_Li View Drop Down
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Points: 21425 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 8:38am
can u put that chick out
sounds like enough talking was done
family or friend idc, when I feel you are only a negative contributor to my life then i cut u completely off
i refuse to feel uncomfortable in my own home
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