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Ladydlite 
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 Topic: How to deal with a negative family member
Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:50pm |
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I have a family member that constantly throws past mistakes in my face. We'll have a pleasant conversation, and out of nowhere, this person gets angry and curses me out about something that happened weeks, months or years prior. In the past, I used to cry and/or get angry, but now I remove myself from their vicinity. However, I also put money into the home and cannot afford to move at the time because I am putting another family member through school. Any suggestions? I have tried to forgive this person and be a good Christian, but that doesn't mean I have to take verbal and emotional abuse from anyone.
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FarraFace
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Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:51pm |
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This person lives in the house with you?
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Lady ICE
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Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:54pm |
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i drop them, just like anyone else. i want a stress/drama free life and anyone messin that up for me is history. you can forgive but you dont have to talk to'em. i just get gone with the quickness.
well thats what i do anyways
Edited by Lady ICE - Dec 02 2012 at 11:55pm
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modelbusiness82
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Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:54pm |
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I've definitely lived in a toxic environment and depending on the
relative, sometimes the best thing to do is to move and cut them out of
your life completely. I know that you're currently not in a financial
position to do so, but if the environment is that horrible, maybe
there's someone else you can stay with in the meantime until you can
100% find a place of your own.
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Gkisses
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Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:55pm |
Tell them your tired of their sh!t and to STFU if they dont listen punch em in the throat and walk away without saying another word
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Midna
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Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:00am |
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Honestly, I'd just stay away from them. If you need to talk to them, go ahead, but let them know it's bothering you.
If they continue, walk away every time they start. Don't even say anything, just turn around and go do something else. You're not an emotional punching bag.
But until then, I wouldn't be starting conversations with them anymore. If they came to me, I'd keep it terse so there's less room for full on conversation.
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carolina cutie
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Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:03am |
Tell them it bothers you for them to bring up the past and you are really hurt. Sometimes the person has to hear that they are being a**hole in order to address their behavior. Hopefully they change after that. If not: Minimize contact and bite the bullet until you can move out. Then you can take a break from them.  *Mean O Post*OT: Paying for another family member's college? I'd throw that in the abusive family member's face since it sounds like it would hurt the abusive person's pride but that would be mean. 
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ShadyLady
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Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:07am |
Have you tried talking to them about the situation? If not, tell them what they're doing is getting on your nerves. If they don't change it and you can't move, just don't deal with them. Just cuz y'all live together doesn't mean you have to be friendly. Be home only when you absolutely have to and stay in your room. Cut the convo short when they start talking that foolishness. Sucks to be uncomfortable in your own home, but better than making a move you can't afford or going to jail for slapping fire outta them (which my gut reaction told me to say  ). Good luck!
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Ladydlite
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Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:36am |
Yes, this person lives in the house with me. I have told them about their behavior on numerous occasions and we've had nasty fights as a result. They have made vile comments about me and I'm really just done with it and them. I do not pay for their college education but for another member of the family.
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Cali naps
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Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:41am |
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Ignore them as much as you can. Pretend like they don't exist and if the try and taunt you just block them out and keep moving like nothing is happening. Approaching them in anyway seems like asking for a bad reaction.
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