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How to deal with a negative family member

 
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Ladydlite View Drop Down
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    Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:50pm
I have a family member that constantly throws past mistakes in my face. We'll have a pleasant conversation, and out of nowhere, this person gets angry and curses me out about something that happened weeks, months or years prior. In the past, I used to cry and/or get angry, but now I remove myself from their vicinity. However, I also put money into the home and cannot afford to move at the time because I am putting another family member through school. Any suggestions? I have tried to forgive this person and be a good Christian, but that doesn't mean I have to take verbal and emotional abuse from anyone.
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FarraFace View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:51pm
This person lives in the house with you?
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Lady ICE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (8) Thanks(8)   Quote Lady ICE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:54pm
i drop them, just like anyone else. i want a stress/drama free life and anyone messin that up for me is history. you can forgive but you dont have to talk to'em. i just get gone with the quickness.

well thats what i do anyways





Edited by Lady ICE - Dec 02 2012 at 11:55pm
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modelbusiness82 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:54pm
I've definitely lived in a toxic environment and depending on the relative, sometimes the best thing to do is to move and cut them out of your life completely. I know that you're currently not in a financial position to do so, but if the environment is that horrible, maybe there's someone else you can stay with in the meantime until you can 100% find a place of your own. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (15) Thanks(15)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 11:55pm
Tell them your tired of their sh!t and to STFU if they dont listen punch em in the throat and walk away without saying another word
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:00am
Honestly, I'd just stay away from them. If you need to talk to them, go ahead, but let them know it's bothering you.

If they continue, walk away every time they start. Don't even say anything, just turn around and go do something else. You're not an emotional punching bag.

But until then, I wouldn't be starting conversations with them anymore. If they came to me, I'd keep it terse so there's less room for full on conversation.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:03am
Tell them it bothers you for them to bring up the past and you are really hurt. Sometimes the person has to hear that they are being a**hole in order to address their behavior. Hopefully they change after that. If not:

Minimize contact and bite the bullet until you can move out. Then you can take a break from them.Hug




*Mean O Post*
OT: Paying for another family member's college? I'd throw that in the abusive family member's face since it sounds like it would hurt the abusive person's pride but that would be mean.Stern Smile
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ShadyLady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShadyLady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:07am
Have you tried talking to them about the situation? If not, tell them what they're doing is getting on your nerves.

If they don't change it and you can't move, just don't deal with them. Just cuz y'all live together doesn't mean you have to be friendly.

Be home only when you absolutely have to and stay in your room. Cut the convo short when they start talking that foolishness.

Sucks to be uncomfortable in your own home, but better than making a move you can't afford or going to jail for slapping fire outta them (which my gut reaction told me to say ).

Good luck!
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Ladydlite View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Ladydlite Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:36am
Yes, this person lives in the house with me.
 
I have told them about their behavior on numerous occasions and we've had nasty fights as a result. They have made vile comments about me and I'm really just done with it and them.
 
I do not pay for their college education but for another member of the family.
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Cali naps View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cali naps Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 03 2012 at 12:41am
Ignore them as much as you can. Pretend like they don't exist and if the try and taunt you just block them out and keep moving like nothing is happening. Approaching them in anyway seems like asking for a bad reaction.
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