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How to convince my mom...?

 
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Stephiebear View Drop Down
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    Posted: Mar 16 2014 at 10:38pm
So today at the store my mom looked at my hair and said "Look at all of that new growth, we need to relax your hair again" 
I tried to explain to her that I was trying to transition, and she just argued that my hair was going to start breaking off. Angry

I REALLY do not want to keep relaxing my hair and i've gotten about an inch or so of beautiful new growth. I'm also looking at coloring my hair in the (not too distant) future and..i dont want to relax AND bleach my hair. I know i could wait whatever around of weeks post relaxer to bleach but I feel like I just need to pick my poison.

I'm not going to BC, my mom would never allow such a thing. I'm just going to do occasional trimming until all of the relaxed hair is gone. Well, that was the plan anyway, but I dont know if I'll be able to follow through with it if I can't convince my mother to stop relaxing my hair.
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luvmybiga$$fro View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote luvmybiga$$fro Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 17 2014 at 6:22am
Hey there! Talk to ya Momma and tell her the reasons behind your decision to stop relaxing. Show her sites like BHM. Take her on YT and show her the amazing heads of natural hair. Ya basically have to educate Momma on natural hair and your experience with relaxers. HTH and GL.
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Stephiebear View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Stephiebear Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 17 2014 at 10:12pm
Thanks so much for your reply!

Yeah,, i think i'm just going to show her this website as long as LHCF, so she can understand better what i'm trying to do. I'll try to educate her. It won't be hard..she's an old fashioned "grease your scalp and hair" type.

The other day while at the beauty supply I told her i needed a water based moisturizer and she said "I thought water dried out your hair..."
She has a lot to learn! LOL
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mangachan View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote mangachan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2014 at 5:49pm
My mom was the same way when I was younger until I was assertive about this.  If she is up for it, defiantly show her some of the things here on the internet about what relaxers do to the hair.  Show her videos and photos of naturals with different types of styles because people like our moms are concerned about "how you gonna wear it."  If chemicals are causing an adverse reaction suck as scalp burns, thinning, breakage then I would play that up.

Now, another thing is...how old are you?  She can't hold you down and force you to relax your hair.  The only thing she can do ultimately is pressure you on this.  As long as you are firm enough, you don't have to let her do anything to your hair.  Frankly, this is one of many areas were you are going to need to set boundaries with your mother and come into your own.  She has to let you grow up and live on your own terms.  This is your hair and you're not doing anything wrong.  If you can, I suggest wearing styles that disguise the new growth so she doesn't see it all of the time.  Out of sight, out of mind.
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kwicherbichen View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kwicherbichen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 29 2014 at 5:55pm
My mom was the same way. And it was hard for me to convince her because there is SO LITTLE INFORMATION online that is CREDIBLE to my HAIR TYPE all in one place.  But if you're able to show her maybe some youtube videos or books that work for your hair type, that will be good.

The only way I could get my mom on board was to do a big chop without telling her. She got mad, but thought it looked cute and then she started to see how much healthier my hair was. I had to say every month "Mom, have faith. I believe this will work with all my heart and mind. Just give it time."
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