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How To Be A Housewife 101

 
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Alias_Avi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Alias_Avi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 04 2013 at 8:59pm
I'll always remember that time on The Newlyweds when Nick went near the bathroom after Jessica did a number 2 and he said "Babe, you did THAT!?!?!" and she said "Yes but you love my stinky butt"

They were divorced not long after that LOL
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sistagal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sistagal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 05 2013 at 5:01am
I agree with some of what she says. Not all. It works for her. That's good.

That being said, a book was a very bad option. Some people need to not treat their solutions as a "fix all" especially when it comes to relationships.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 05 2013 at 5:35am
i was going to say she'll get tired of all that but it's been nine years

Don't know them at all, hope he's worth it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 05 2013 at 5:37am
if you set up your marriage like that, how will that work if you get sick?


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote sunshine321511 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 05 2013 at 8:20am
EXCELLENT REVISIONS...this is more practical for the average woman.
 
My husband has big hands, you just order a large size ring that is wide in width so their hands don't look so "fat"....he better wear his dang ring!!!
 
Also there are products out here for the bathroom, you spray in the toilet before you use it for a number 2 and no scents....so this not using the bathroom thing is not necessary...here is the link....they have purse size, office sizes, etc etc...
 
Fresh Drops is one product that is sold at some walmarts, BB and beyond and amazon here is the link
 
 
another option is the QVC line that comes in various scents.
 
 
 
The keeping fit thing, it is great to look good but I'm begging all sisters, please don't make that mistake of thinking because you sex him constantly, dress fly, look good....that...that guarantees a commitment to you or a long marriage.  I have seen the prettiest, sex every night, pretty kids and the man still leaves or cheats. 
 
The way a woman looks, acts, does not determine how another person will treat or value them.
 
 
 
Originally posted by CLCNY20 CLCNY20 wrote:

Actually, I'ma place my own tweaks in there, in blue...



Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Can't help cleaning this up a bit.....

Originally posted by CLCNY20 CLCNY20 wrote:


The 13 most jawdropping "duh" bits from Melissa Gorga's controversial new book *revisited*



1. "Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. As a matter of fact that is pretty much all women.  But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated."  No one ever has outright permission to manhandle you, whether it be a parent, sibling, or a significant other.  If two adults decide to engage in roleplay, or any other rough-housing/fetishes, however, that is their business, but it must ALWAYS be consensual by BOTH parties, and never to be expected--especially based upon gender roles.

2. "Couples [A] woman needs to keep herself themselves in shape.  She has They need to be seductive.  They She must be willing to try new things for her husband's each other's  pleasure and her own. And, most Sex is important, They should she has to be available for sex." No one "needs" to do anything but breathe, eat, sh*t, and sleep.  Keeping in shape is not a demand in a marriage unless you plan to destroy that marriage from the inside out.  If your marriage is based on looks, you might as well be lovers and KIM.  Keeping in shape is something you do for yourself, not for your partner.  If they're not with you because of who you are, and are with you because of what you look like, they're worthless to you, and probably doing more damage to your self-esteem and psychological state than you could ever imagine.

3. "Even when I'm exhausted and not really in the mood, if it means a lot to hubby that we connect physically, I'll try to get in the mood with himsay, 'I'm not so into it tonight, but let's go.' If it's a hard 'no,' that's pretty much the end of thatI try to be nice about it. Don't swat him away, or say with a tone, 'Leave me alone!' Eventually he will leave you alone at more than you wish he would."

4. "The way I see it, if a wife is very good in bed a puttana, her husband will MAY never feel the urge to go outside the marriage to fck other women actual whores, or strip clubs.   I'll keep track of my vagina and keep it in my panties and you're in charge of your dack.  Its one body part and its attached to you so you should have no problems keeping track of where it goes or misPLACING it."


5. "His style was to make corrections and to teach me from the beginning days of our marriage exactly how he envisioned our life together."  "We work hard on our marriage consistently and try every day to help each other be happy and feel secure.  If something is upsetting one of us we work to fix it / change it as needed"


6. "If I ran out to CVS and he came home from work to an empty house, he didn't like it. He'd call me and say, 'I don't care if you're out all day long. But I don't want to come home to an empty house.   And then I say Awww you miss me?  I know you hate that sweetie, I had so much I wanted to do before I got home.....Boy Bye, I'm at CVS and you're making me take longer.   Start dinner, I'll be there soon. While I understand your desire to see me waiting for you when you open the front door after a long day at work, I'll be home when I get home.  If you wanted a faithful companion awaiting you at the door, shoulda adopted Lassie, because this puttana has a life--and it was there before you, so you might want to adjust to it instead of asking for me to leave it behind, because Lord knows all hell would break loose if I expected you to stay home every time I went out. 


7. "It's my job to clean up spilled milk. I just do it."  Do you need help cleaning that up?  I'll get the paper towels mop for youBig smile!  Please don't use paper towels to clean up spilled milk.  The Virgo in me may murder you in your sleep if you do.


8. "In our marriage, hubby is always the man, doing masculine things, including housework. I'm the woman, and I do the female things, including housework."  We decide our own roles.  You want to vacuum, I want to take out the trash, so be it.  This isn't 1813.


9. "Girls don't poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn't happen. Or, that's what Joe thinks! We've been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don't do it when he's around or awake.Yeah, I ain't holding sh*t.  Literally.


10. "I also aspire to be eye candy for my husband."Clap


11. "Joe never wears a wedding band. Joe has really chubby fingers (he will tell you so, too), and he thinks that a ring is the most uncomfortable thing ever. It used to bother me, but now I just tell myself that a wedding band is more of a chick magnet."   Wedding bands are worn proudly in our marriage.  They are very comfortable and shiny. 


12. "Listen, we all love to hang out with our single friends. Who's more fun? But, let's call a spade a spade. You can't make a habit of it when you are married.Hubby gets a kick out of their dating stories and dramas too".


13. "If he gets one ounce of flack from me, he flips a switch and goes off.Sometimes we get ratchett around here.   We always make up and laugh hysterically at things said in the argument

Source:  http://









Edited by sunshine321511 - Oct 05 2013 at 8:27am
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AwesomeAries View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote AwesomeAries Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 05 2013 at 8:36am
So she lives in Neverland where fairytales do come true
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote AwesomeAries Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 05 2013 at 8:39am
It reads as if he don't respect her
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Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

number 1 is dodgy as hell...that's not consensual sexual submission (which I'm totally okay with) that crosses into muddy rape territory imo.
 
 
 
exactly my thoughts.  she needs to clean that sh*t up and clarify.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote LovesHim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 05 2013 at 9:46am
My husband likes for me be home when he arrives..... However, that's not always possible

Hmmm we only have one bathroom so... I mean..... sh*t happens 

We both work so we both clean... naturally I do more around the house.. we have a different tolerance level... 

My husband doesn't wear his wedding band..... *shrugs* 

Hair pulling.... hmmm yes please 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 05 2013 at 12:21pm
Well, regardless of him cheating on her, it is pretty obvious she is only with him for money.
Theresa mentioned, and Kathy agreed that it was true, that Melissa said "when I saw his house I knew I had to have him".

His kids are already set for life: he got an apartment building for each one of them.
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