You are 20? I am 57 ... and I know of which I speak. Took me years to figure this out too .. and boy have I witnessed DISASTERIOUS relationships along the way. DISASTEROUS I tell you.
I am just trying to save you the heartache so that maybe you will find happiness with a decent guy one day.
Whenever I read one of these threads on this forum about a woman trapped in an abusive relationship ... I think 'she messed up' early on in many ways.
But it does not have to get to be THAT bad of course. You can just spend your life dating the same ratfink guy .. over and over again .. different face but the same guy. Never realizing why it keeps going south.
You have to retrain yourself with regards to men. Go online and do your research.
Ummm it does not matter that you have not had sex with either of them.
You are giving the impression that you are on the make for BOTH of them and to a guy ... this is a precurser to sex. Yes, guys on the same team CAN be attacted to you sure you just can't play them (or show interest) in both of them .. or they will put you in the tramp category.
MEN TALK. Why are you so 'available' to both of these guys? Umm they will wonder who else you are available to. Nevvver a good thing. This lowers your value in their eyes because girls who are 'somebody' are NEVER so available. Never. You have to be very careful in how your comport yourself in the company of men. (Let those other girls show everything, chase men, sleep around and basically make fools out of themselves but you should requite more of yourself.)
Guys do not want a girl that is 'available' to a lot of guys. They want a girl that a lot of guys WANT ... but that only he can win
You are the prize and you should know it so ... be disinterested. Period.
Again ... these creatutres are slow .. but they are not THAT slow. If you spark a friendship .. they will figure out you are initiatiing this in the hopes that it will develop into more. Let him spark the flippen 'friendship'. He knows how to do this .. if he doesn't .. he ain't right in the head so forget him.
Sorry but you are very, very confused as to how to conduct yoursellf when you are around men that might be possible mates ... if you want to form a real relationship. (If you just want sex - go for it!)
- You go about your business. Pay him NO MIND
- Let him talk to you first
- Smile and be polite .. but be on your way.
- Let other guys be attracted but don't pay them any mind either!
- Do not show any untoward interest in him - just go about your business which is NOT flirting with other guys
- Soon enough... he will see you are NOT so anxious to get with him - so you know you've got something special (you are a quality item).. which will trigger his interest in you. You will pose a challenge to him which is what he most desires.
- Let him attempt something with you a several times .. before relenting and showing him some favor
- So now he will feel GOOD because he had to struggle and struggle but finally .. he is making some headway (They are like little puppies really!)
- Date him in a slow fashion .. what's the rush? A girl that KNOWS she is desireable KNOWS she has options. (and this has NOTHING to do with how you look btw... it's how you FEEL about yourself.)
- Make him wait. That means he has to call/text you. (Not the other way around)
- Do not sleep with him until quite some time has gone by like 2 - 3 months of regular dating.
By then you know him lot better - his values, his beliefs - what he wants for the future etc. Hey you might have found out he does not pay his ex gf child support (the reason does not matter), he has 2 domestic violence reports on him, and ... it likes to kick the neighbor's dog for fun. Hee hee! So you dump him anyway ... move on.
If the guy is not really interested in you during the above (because basically he wants to use you for sex) he will lose interest and be gone - off to easier prey. Well, good riddance to bad rubbish! A LOT Aof guys are like this...
But the guy that sticks around ... IS interested in you for a real relationship. The cream always rises to the top in such matters.
It goes on and on but basically if you want that guy ..
.....you have to chase him ... until he catches you. (This is a play on words - but do understand the concept.)
This is why they call it 'The Dating Game' which has been around for about 100,000 years ...and it's never too late to learn it baby girl. (Of course, at your age .. you can learn this stuff EARLY and avoid being hurt.)