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jonesable 
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 Posted: Nov 06 2012 at 12:55am |
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I don't have the guts to approach so I just let them come to me.
But you can and I don't makes that makes you look bad .
As long as you don't come off as thirsty
Hey they say Michelle approached Barrack...
Edited by jonesable - Nov 06 2012 at 12:57am
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Becky
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Posted: Nov 06 2012 at 1:22am |
 Mixer wrote:
Oh lord, not this "women shouldn't approach men" advice again. That's a good way to leave you wondering "Hmmm, I wonder what could have been.." Us men do like to be approached. I repeat, we do like to be approached. That's not going to affect a possible relationship at all. That would be other, different factors.
Anyway, go find his ass and try to do some small talk. See if he's really worth the time and then see where it goes from there. Being a bit scared is ok. That's just natural. Just don't let it show. Plus, what's the worse that could have happened? Being told no is actual better than wondering what could have happened imo.
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Well, the worse that could happen is that she gets involved with a creep that uses her for sex ... and then dumps her. Duh.
We already went over this part.  Try to keep up. Hee hee!
If he says No, it will affect her self-esteem ( which for a woman that is supposed to be confident so that she can ATTRACT a potential male) is wrong. It will make her feel bad about herself as it puts her in a powerless .. position that she is likely to carry over to the NEXT guy she meets.
No, it is NOT the same for men. They have to approach women. Period. Men and Women are different. Every generation (including mine) believe that they can redefine this stuff and it works in SOME cases - in terms of equal rights but in relationships. Nooooo this stuff never changes.
Men don't sit there and look good that they can ATTRACT potential mates. No. That would a backwards gender role - ask ANY Socialogist (sp? can't spell). Hee hee.
As a guy you say you LIKE being approached .. but like I said in an earlier thread ... sometmes guys do not realize what's going on ... subconsiously. They are flattered ... but it never comes to anything but a romp in the sack. It's up to the woman to set the pace of the relationship .. if she wants something real out of it.
(There are exceptions sure .. but that is simular to winning the Lotto and ... how many people do you know that have won the Lotto? So I wouldn't blow all my savings on new shoes .. based on the off chance that I would win the Lotto next week.  )
Anyway about 95% of the women on this post have given the OP the correct advice mainly based on their own experiences over many years (like myself). But if the OP is still foolish enough to pursue a guy anyway ... well, she can't say nobody warned her. 
Edited by Becky - Nov 06 2012 at 1:42am
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Mixer
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Posted: Nov 06 2012 at 6:48am |
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Mixer
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Posted: Nov 06 2012 at 6:49am |
Becky wrote:
Mixer wrote:
Oh lord, not this "women shouldn't approach men" advice again. That's a good way to leave you wondering "Hmmm, I wonder what could have been.." Us men do like to be approached. I repeat, we do like to be approached. That's not going to affect a possible relationship at all. That would be other, different factors.
Anyway, go find his ass and try to do some small talk. See if he's really worth the time and then see where it goes from there. Being a bit scared is ok. That's just natural. Just don't let it show. Plus, what's the worse that could have happened? Being told no is actual better than wondering what could have happened imo.
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Well, the worse that could happen is that she gets involved with a creep that uses her for sex ... and then dumps her. Duh.
We already went over this part. Try to keep up. Hee hee!
If he says No, it will affect her self-esteem ( which for a woman that is supposed to be confident so that she can ATTRACT a potential male) is wrong. It will make her feel bad about herself as it puts her in a powerless .. position that she is likely to carry over to the NEXT guy she meets.
No, it is NOT the same for men. They have to approach women. Period. Men and Women are different. Every generation (including mine) believe that they can redefine this stuff and it works in SOME cases - in terms of equal rights but in relationships. Nooooo this stuff never changes.
Men don't sit there and look good that they can ATTRACT potential mates. No. That would a backwards gender role - ask ANY Socialogist (sp? can't spell). Hee hee.
As a guy you say you LIKE being approached .. but like I said in an earlier thread ... sometmes guys do not realize what's going on ... subconsiously. They are flattered ... but it never comes to anything but a romp in the sack. It's up to the woman to set the pace of the relationship .. if she wants something real out of it.
(There are exceptions sure .. but that is simular to winning the Lotto and ... how many people do you know that have won the Lotto? So I wouldn't blow all my savings on new shoes .. based on the off chance that I would win the Lotto next week. )
Anyway about 95% of the women on this post have given the OP the correct advice mainly based on their own experiences over many years (like myself). But if the OP is still foolish enough to pursue a guy anyway ... well, she can't say nobody warned her. |
Foolish, huh? I'm glad I skipped to the end instead of bothering to write out something longer.
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Mixer
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Posted: Nov 09 2012 at 2:48pm |
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Jess
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Posted: Nov 09 2012 at 3:09pm |
jonesable wrote:
I don't have the guts to approach so I just let them come to me.
But you can and I don't makes that makes you look bad .
As long as you don't come off as thirsty
Hey they say Michelle approached Barrack... |
Barack approached her a lot of times and she wasn't having it because she was her superior. He finally wore her down though
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Jess
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Posted: Nov 09 2012 at 4:47pm |
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Ashleyano
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Posted: Nov 10 2012 at 12:19am |
Becky wrote:
Well, the worse that could happen is that she gets involved with a creep that uses her for sex ... and then dumps her. Duh.
We already went over this part. Try to keep up. Hee hee!
If he says No, it will affect her self-esteem ( which for a woman that is supposed to be confident so that she can ATTRACT a potential male) is wrong. It will make her feel bad about herself as it puts her in a powerless .. position that she is likely to carry over to the NEXT guy she meets.
No, it is NOT the same for men. They have to approach women. Period. Men and Women are different. Every generation (including mine) believe that they can redefine this stuff and it works in SOME cases - in terms of equal rights but in relationships. Nooooo this stuff never changes.
Men don't sit there and look good that they can ATTRACT potential mates. No. That would a backwards gender role - ask ANY Socialogist (sp? can't spell). Hee hee.
As a guy you say you LIKE being approached .. but like I said in an earlier thread ... sometmes guys do not realize what's going on ... subconsiously. They are flattered ... but it never comes to anything but a romp in the sack. It's up to the woman to set the pace of the relationship .. if she wants something real out of it.
(There are exceptions sure .. but that is simular to winning the Lotto and ... how many people do you know that have won the Lotto? So I wouldn't blow all my savings on new shoes .. based on the off chance that I would win the Lotto next week. )
Anyway about 95% of the women on this post have given the OP the correct advice mainly based on their own experiences over many years (like myself). But if the OP is still foolish enough to pursue a guy anyway ... well, she can't say nobody warned her. |
1.this is something i don't understand. i feel like recently the generation i am more receptive to feels like either true relationships don't exist in 2012 or they don't have time to have a relationship but either excuse they just want to use me for sex, but i do not let them. and they approached me btw. 2. foolish? i had told myself that i didn't want to wait to long to see him again because i didn't want him to forget my face and i would be standing there looking stupid, so considering its been a month i def know he forgot my face. but that doesn't mean i won't bite the bullet in the future who knows
Edited by Ashleyano - Nov 10 2012 at 12:20am
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Becky
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Posted: Nov 10 2012 at 3:16am |
Asleyano ... what I am trying to tell you is that EVERY generation believes the same thing - that in XXXX (year) things are different. I heard the same crap when I grew up (and that was a long time ago.) But in terms of what goes on between men and women ... things never change. They cannot change because it's pretty much ... biological.
Why are you hanging around the mall in hopes of running into him? He had his chance and he let you walk away. Take a clue. And what do you mean ''you don't want him to forget your face'? DUH.
Hey, a guy that is INTERESTED IN YOU ... is never gonna forget your face. Never.
You will surely get burned time and time again if you continue to take this stance with men.
With guys ... be attractive and flirt a bit .. and let him come to you. Period. If he does not come to you .. FORGET ABOUT HIM and move on! Period.
Otherwiise if you approach him ... you relinquish your 'power' early on, you will nevvvver get it back in that relationship and it messes you up in terms of what you should do with other guys.
Edited by Becky - Nov 10 2012 at 3:29am
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Junior Jr
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Posted: Nov 10 2012 at 12:14pm |
just say "hi"
if he's feeling you, he'll keep the convo rolling and if not, you can keep it moving without making yourself look awkward
that's the ultimate anti-thirst approach a woman can make. good luck 
jr.
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