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how to approach a guy?

 
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Ashleyano View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ashleyano Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 08 2012 at 10:27pm
i actually didnt even make it to the mall today
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Ashleyano View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ashleyano Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 08 2012 at 10:33pm
@belladonna thanks for the suggestions
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote missdeeluxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2012 at 7:53pm
I don't think I could lol
Like everyone else said, I think it would set the stage of you being the dominant one.

I think getting his number would be fine but leave it to him to actually ask you out.
Keep it flirty, challenge him to something and then be like "except I don't have your number, bummer haha"

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Ashleyano View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ashleyano Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2012 at 11:52pm
@bouthatlife, but there are men who find it a turn on tho
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Ashleyano View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Ashleyano Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2012 at 11:54pm
thanks missdeluxe lol thats cute i might say that 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Becky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2012 at 5:08pm
I agree with the other girls. LET IT GO!
 
He spoke with you for a minute right?  Well job or not ... he would have asked for your number if he were interested. PERIOD. Clap
 
Hey, I sure wish my mother had told me all this stuff when I was young - would have saved me a world of confusion .. but once I got a clue .. I was good to go. You will be too .. you just cannot usurp a man's role in this area (like the above poster said).
 
By making the first move .. you screw up the balance of power in a relationship. (your power over him)
It's called 'The Dating Game' for a reason.
 
And yes, it IS a turn on for a girl to approach a guy first .. but that's just it. It's TURN ON. Shocked He will use you  for sex if he can ... and leave you sitting in his wake wondering ... 'What happened'?
 
Gosh, this is 2012 .. but honestly SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE. Never.Confused
 
This is because guys are almost genetically driven to PURSUE. But you have to give them something to pursue and trigger the chase or else POOF you were too easy to get. So innately he will value you less so in short order ... he will move on to another target that is not quite so easy to get. A guy wants a girls that is of VALUE ... not a girl that appears a bit forward (read: desparate).
 
This is why they say, be attractive and alluring (this is your gender role) but let him take the hint and make a move. If he makes a move .. don't be too AVAILABLE. Make him work for it. Tell him you don't give out your number but you do give out your email. Or tell him you don't give out your number .. and wait until he offers his ... then make him wait until you call him.
 
If he does not make a move ... either he is not interested, he's interested but he's married or in a relationship (don't let this kind of man turn you into a tramp!),he's distracted and missed the chance to get your number (too bad), he's too intimidated to ask for it (knowing he will likely never see you again!)
 
Also, often there are guys that are maladjusted (read: weak) and kindof messed up in terms of women. This kind of guy will be glad you made a move because he does not have the balls to do it himself.
 
Now .. this is an indication of things to come.You will be stuck will a guy that 'ain't right, ain't savy'and the list goes on. Basically a weak man .. that you will have to 'carry' .. so to speak.
 
In conclusion:
 
1) You will end up with a guy that will either use you for sex ... and then move on or
2) A guy that is socially inept ... so then he never does stuff 'right'.
 
(Of course, there are exceptions.)
 
But in general I say ... leave that guy alone.  (Not trying to offend you .. but like I said .. I wish someone has told me all this stuff when I was young.Confused)


Edited by Becky - Oct 13 2012 at 5:16pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 13 2012 at 5:29pm
Originally posted by Becky Becky wrote:

I agree with the other girls. LET IT GO!
 
He spoke with you for a minute right?  Well job or not ... he would have asked for your number if he were interested. PERIOD. Clap
 
Hey, I sure wish my mother had told me all this stuff when I was young - would have saved me a world of confusion .. but once I got a clue .. I was good to go. You will be too .. you just cannot usurp a man's role in this area (like the above poster said).
 
By making the first move .. you screw up the balance of power in a relationship. (your power over him)
It's called 'The Dating Game' for a reason.
 
And yes, it IS a turn on for a girl to approach a guy first .. but that's just it. It's TURN ON. Shocked He will use you  for sex if he can ... and leave you sitting in his wake wondering ... 'What happened'?
 
Gosh, this is 2012 .. but honestly SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE. Never.Confused
 
This is because guys are almost genetically driven to PURSUE. But you have to give them something to pursue and trigger the chase or else POOF you were too easy to get. So innately he will value you less so in short order ... he will move on to another target that is not quite so easy to get. A guy wants a girls that is of VALUE ... not a girl that appears a bit forward (read: desperate).
 
This is why they say, be attractive and alluring (this is your gender role) but let him take the hint and make a move. If he makes a move .. don't be too AVAILABLE. Make him work for it. Tell him you don't give out your number but you do give out your email. Or tell him you don't give out your number .. and wait until he offers his ... then make him wait until you call him.
 
If he does not make a move ... either he is not interested, he's interested but he's married or in a relationship (don't let this kind of man turn you into a tramp!),he's distracted and missed the chance to get your number (too bad), he's too intimidated to ask for it (knowing he will likely never see you again!)
 
Also, often there are guys that are maladjusted (read: weak) and kindof messed up in terms of women. This kind of guy will be glad you made a move because he does not have the balls to do it himself.
 
Now .. this is an indication of things to come.You will be stuck will a guy that 'ain't right, ain't savy'and the list goes on. Basically a weak man .. that you will have to 'carry' .. so to speak.
 
In conclusion:
 
1) You will end up with a guy that will either use you for sex ... and then move on or
2) A guy that is socially inept ... so then he never does stuff 'right'.
 
(Of course, there are exceptions.)
 
But in general I say ... leave that guy alone.  (Not trying to offend you .. but like I said .. I wish someone has told me all this stuff when I was young.Confused)
Sticky worthy
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cabolady121 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 29 2012 at 5:09pm
Originally posted by Anah Anah wrote:

I don't believe in approaching men. I think when a woman does that she sets the stage to be the dominant personality in the relationship. 

If that's your thing cool... but with chicks I know who pursue, they always end up with with weak guys who don't step up or guys who don't put in any effort to impress them.  

I realize I didn't answer your specific question LOL but none the less I hope it helped in some way

My words exactly! I feel the same way and have told my friends this exact same thing Tongue
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Mixer View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Mixer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 04 2012 at 6:57pm
Oh lord, not this "women shouldn't approach men" advice again. That's a good way to leave you wondering "Hmmm, I wonder what could have been.." Us men do like to be approached. I repeat, we do like to be approached. That's not going to affect a possible relationship at all. That would be other, different factors.

Anyway, go find his ass and try to do some small talk. See if he's really worth the time and then see where it goes from there. Being a bit scared is ok. That's just natural. Just don't let it show. Plus, what's the worse that could have happened? Being told no is actual better than wondering what could have happened imo.
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Ashleyano View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ashleyano Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 06 2012 at 12:35am
thanks mixerSmile
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