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Forum LockedHow long should I make him wait *updated*

 
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: How long should I make him wait *updated*
    Posted: Sep 24 2005 at 4:33pm

I met this guy in university 2 days ago, and have fallen for him badly. I really dont want to rush anything but this guy really turns me on. the way he holds me and talks to me, its like i feel soo comfortable with him I like being with him even though i've know him for a couple days. I was wondering wen would be the right time to move on to the next level, i know its fast, but I jus want some advice and not to be judged. I really like him but, and theres no rush but his sooo fine, i jus get so turned on jus being with him i cant help myself, would it be wrong to have sex with him a week from now?

 



Edited by honeysvw
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MsBBWBarbieDoll View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 24 2005 at 5:42pm
It depends on what you want. If you just want a one night stand or a relationship based on sex, then go ahead and get yo groove on. Chances are though if you have sex with him that soon he may percieve you as being easy. I personally think at least a month would be better so u can get to know him just a little bit at least and plus, if he really likes you he'll wait. JMO though.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 24 2005 at 6:23pm
I agree with BarbieDoll, it depends on what you want.  If you want something more than a physical relationship than I would wait, because we all know once sex is introduced into a relationship things change.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 24 2005 at 8:39pm
I was thinking about waiting a month or two, but temptation is calling. And definatly dont was to be percieve as being easy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 24 2005 at 9:55pm
I'd say get to know him as well, and give it TIME. I know what it's like, when you meet someone at school, and you spend a LOT of time with them in a short amount of time, you can devlop feelings fast. But, to make sure those feelings are real, and not just infatuation, (or happiness that you met a good man lol ) take some more time and get to know him. especially if you really like him and want to cultivate a real relationship with him. If not, you could run the risk of speeding up what could be a lasting relationship. Good luck
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 25 2005 at 9:24am
Originally posted by honeysvw honeysvw wrote:

I met this guy in university 2 days ago, and have fallen for him badly. I really dont want to rush anything but this guy really turns me on. the way he holds me and talks to me, its like i feel soo comfortable with him I like being with him even though i've know him for a couple days. I was wondering wen would be the right time to move on to the next level, i know its fast, but I jus want some advice and not to be judged. I really like him but, and theres no rush but his sooo fine, i jus get so turned on jus being with him i cant help myself, would it be wrong to have sex with him a week from now?

DON'T DO IT!!! Keep the GOODIES in the jar!!!  JK, but just like the other ladies suggested, it does depend on what you want FROM HIM, BUT is that what you want for yourself...(side note...i'm not going to judge you sweetie, I totally understand your situation) May I ask what year are you in?

Also let me just warn you, dont trust NO guy on the college campus, girl when I went away to school, it was just one big orgy party, guys was saying and doing ANYthing to get in the girls drawers, I've seen and heard so many stories about situations like these and from experience I can honestly say they dont end up good. I"m sure you are aware of the attachment and feelings and emotions AND expectations some women develop after sleeping with a man so soon  But if you feel you can handle and deal with the consequences resulting from your action (sleeping with him) then do what you do. Just becareful...wrap it up!!!!

SO, with all that being said, you never did say exactly what it is you want from him?

 



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 25 2005 at 9:30am

Since I'm impatient  let me just say if you want something serious from this dude...let him court you, let him chase you, let him WORK for you...and trust me, once he finds out you're not like all the other girls he'll definitely want to pursue you more...and if not, let the knucklehead GO!

In the meantime...just enjoy those moments when he makes your stomach drop by just talking to you and holding you. Its way better than that latter anyway

Good luck girl

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 25 2005 at 7:07pm

I would say that you should get to know this guy first. I understand that you like this guy but does he feel the same way? I know a girl in my dorm who meet a guy who lives in our dorm and she had sex with him 3 days later. When he first meet her he acted like he liked her and wanted to hang out with her. He even hugged on her a lot and told her she was cute. After he got some from her he didn't want to have anything to do with her. He said he just slept with her because she gave it up. He now ignores her and treats her as if she is nothing. I felt kind of sorry for the girl but she got what she deserved. What I'm basically trying to say is just wait and get to know this person because he may be a really good guy or he could be a dog.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 26 2005 at 12:42pm
I say, if he's pushing for it, or being suggestive, test him by telling him that you will only put out for the man you will marry.  If he runs, then that's your answer of the type of man he is and his main objective in you, but if he sticks around for some time, then hopefully wisdom will determine what you should do next.  Good luck!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 26 2005 at 12:47pm

I don't know...One of my longest relationships was with a guy I slept with the day after we met.  So it all depends on what you BOTH want, and how you both really feel.   I do imagine that these things are different in the culture of a college campus.  I don't know as I was a virgin throughout most of college but I do know about it being like a small gossiping city and girl's reputations are often maligned after sleeping with someone.

I don't like when people put some sort of exact time stamp on when you can kiss, when you can have sex etc...it's kind of silly to me because there's no science to it.   I think that if you're spending enough time with him and your talks include talks on character, and respect, you would have an idea of how things would turn out after sex.  If, on the other handm it's purely physical, then I hope you have low expectations about where it will go from there.

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