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How long is too long to be engaged?

 
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Sang Froid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Sang Froid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 7:57pm
You ask me to marry you we goin' to the courthouse ASAP.

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uppitynegroid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 8:27pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I don't mind a long engagement....That will give me enough time to really decide if I want to marry him.

 I rather have a long engagement than a short marriage.


Why don't you figure out if you want to marry a man before you accept his marriage proposal?  Da hell?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 8:34pm
Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

We think our friend's bf proposed to shut her up, they had been dating 6months and she was already whining about "when is my time?, lets just break up then"...he thought the wedding would be a year+ later...she wanted a wedding asap, wedding was 2months after engagement, which she said was actually late, she paid for it Stern Smile


WTH did I just read? LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 8:37pm
Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I don't mind a long engagement....That will give me enough time to really decide if I want to marry him.

 I rather have a long engagement than a short marriage.


Why don't you figure out if you want to marry a man before you accept his marriage proposal?  Da hell?


I might change my mind. I might want to do certain things before I decided to take the final. Not everyone is ready to jump right into marriage ! sh*t happens.




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 8:41pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I don't mind a long engagement....That will give me enough time to really decide if I want to marry him.

 I rather have a long engagement than a short marriage.


Why don't you figure out if you want to marry a man before you accept his marriage proposal?  Da hell?


I might change my mind. I might want to do certain things before I decided to take the final. Not everyone is ready to jump right into marriage ! sh*t happens.






An engagement is not a trial run.  It means you are certain this is the person you want to marry.  If you are not sure, you keep dating until you are sure.  If you still want to "do certain things" its best to do them as a single woman, not as a fiancee. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 8:42pm
Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I don't mind a long engagement....That will give me enough time to really decide if I want to marry him.

 I rather have a long engagement than a short marriage.


Why don't you figure out if you want to marry a man before you accept his marriage proposal?  Da hell?


I might change my mind. I might want to do certain things before I decided to take the final. Not everyone is ready to jump right into marriage ! sh*t happens.






An engagement is not a trial run.  It means you are certain this is the person you want to marry.  If you are not sure, you keep dating until you are sure.  If you still want to "do certain things" its best to do them as a single woman, not as a fiancee. 


No
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 8:48pm
Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I don't mind a long engagement....That will give me enough time to really decide if I want to marry him.

 I rather have a long engagement than a short marriage.


Why don't you figure out if you want to marry a man before you accept his marriage proposal?  Da hell?


I ask that same question when people are surprised by a proposal.

Isn't that the kind of decision you and SO have been discussing before it happens?

I get not knowing the exact day/time...but not knowing that it's going to happen at all is weird.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 9:01pm
summary?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MizzAmirah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 9:12pm
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

You ask me to marry you we goin' to the courthouse ASAP.



THIS. The time is to prepare for the ceremony. If you wanna marry me, wtf are we waiting 1,2,5 or 10 years to make it legal? The court marriage don't cost much.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 9:16pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

summary?

SUMMARY:

*understand that the traditional engagement is not just a formal announcement of the intention to marry, it is the start of a wedding planning process that will take 0-12 months normally, 18 months max (if folks have to fly in etc).

*Anything aside from the above is dating with a ring on and the people likely are not really sure or could covertly be weighing their options or looking to get the partner to move in, split the bills, have marital style boundary free sex & homemaking without the formal commitment of a marriage license.




Edited by NJHairLuv - Jun 19 2014 at 9:17pm
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