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How long is too long to be engaged?

 
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:07pm
in that case epitome, I agree get married at the courthouse and have a re dedication when everything else simmers down and you've caught your breath financially

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sugabanana View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sugabanana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:11pm
Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Engagement is an intent to marry.
You're seriously making up the immediate future part bc engagements used to be very lengthy.



I'm not making up anything.  At the end of the day, people are speaking on their perspective.  In my culture engagement of over a year is impossible.  Your family, his, and everyone who knows you would just assume the wedding isn't going to happen.  I've never had a family member or friend engaged for longer than 1 yr aside from one person who had to postpone their plans due to a death in the family.  Its unheard of.

My culture aside, for most of U.S. history, the etiquette has been to marry within a year.  Even now, many people marry within that time frame, so I don't see what's "made up" about that.

That's why I said 6 months. I've never seen a nigerian couple call an engagement and it lasted longer than 6 months. As soon as its announced then preparation starts and everyone chips in. For those with long engagements what the hayell are you guys doing?
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mizzsandra00 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote mizzsandra00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:11pm
I feel like if I do the courthouse thing I will never have the wedding......like when people hold off on their honeymoon and they never have one.....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote thewonderfulwa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:14pm
I think a year is the max for a engagement some need to save up and plan for the wedding but one situation doesn't fit everyone whatever makes the couple happy as long as they both agree.
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:14pm
She should find out if he's actively looking for his "real soulmate"

Is he worried about the money for wedding?

Find the real reason, makes things a lot easier 


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:17pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

in that case epitome, I agree get married at the courthouse and have a re dedication when everything else simmers down and you've caught your breath financially


that's what I'd do. and I like small intimate weddings.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:17pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

in that case epitome, I agree get married at the courthouse and have a re dedication when everything else simmers down and you've caught your breath financially



 My GF did this on her 1 yr anniv because she got married quick fast & in a hurry (planned in 3 days) the first time. She basically did a re-creation of the wedding day. We all wore same bridesmaid dresses, and everybody was in the same roles as for first wedding, same church, etc. It was nice.


eta: the wedding was a quickie because he had to leave country in  a week for business and wanted her to go w/ him and she said /put a ring on it then/ (before bey lol); he did.


Edited by PurplePhase - Jun 19 2014 at 4:21pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:18pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

I don't think there's a too long or too short. Depends on the couple and what they want.

I don't mind long engagements.


You know you're my fave poster.Embarrassed


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:23pm
I agree Ricky. My only issue w/ op is that he becomes difficult when it's discussed. Two people getting engaged and married at their own mutual pace is fine. But if one person wants something else that's the issue IMO.

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sugabanana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:23pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

I feel like if I do the courthouse thing I will never have the wedding......like when people hold off on their honeymoon and they never have one.....

Girl I did the court house thing then fed everyone a year later. The wedding was really for everyone else. Hubby just wanted to go to Bahamas and call it a day but noooooooooooooo all the family members from both sides were pressed to have a wedding ceremony. Everyone was pressed to wear their outfits and eye lashes.Confused
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