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How long is too long to be engaged?

 
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Majesty02 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Majesty02 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 12:13pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:

Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

Originally posted by Majesty02 Majesty02 wrote:


Gyal who are you talking about? Not everyone does that. I can only speak for myself, and I NEVER pretend like everything was perfect in my relationship.
 

maybe this should be another topic....

but why should anyone else know there is trouble in your relationship?


some people like to discuss their relationship problems with family and friends

I'm guessing it is pretty common

I don't do it, but it seems like a lot of people do
 

I never said I discussed our personal problems with family, and friends. So yall need to stop jumping to conclusions. I simply said I didn't "pretend like everything was perfect". Which means I was realistic about the situation, and didn't create imaginary things in my head. When he became verbally, and psychically abusive I packed up my ish and left him. Unfortunately a lot of women stay in fatal relationships just to say “I’m married, engaged, or have a man” …Not me. I love my life too much.

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jonesable View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 12:20pm
I'm think about either a big wedding or get married at the courthouse during the week and have a big lavish black tie event at a nice space on the weekend.
 
My SO wants a big wedding mainly for his family but I really dont know.
I would be thrilled with just the party .
 
But engagment is down the road.
I want to finish all of my schooling first
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 12:24pm
Team do what makes you and your boo happy.Thumbs Up



...the couple in the OP need to have a heart to heart so they can move forward together or separately.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Wildfire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 12:25pm
He doesnt want to marry her. 

women need to stop bringing up marriage and coercing men into putting a ring on it. 
This is real life, not a music video.
If the man wants to marry you, you wont have to say a damn thing.
If you make him put a ring on it, expect a long engagement and if you do make it to the alter, a sh*tty crash and burn marriage after.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 12:45pm
When you have to ask how long is too long, its already been too long.

At some point you just a girl with a ring and delusions......
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 12:48pm
I don't think there's a too long or too short. Depends on the couple and what they want.

I don't mind long engagements.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 3:37pm
Originally posted by Majesty02 Majesty02 wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by Majesty02 Majesty02 wrote:


<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 10pt" ='msonormal=""'><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><!--?: prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /--><O:P><FONT face=Calibri> </O:P></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-ansi-: EN" lang=EN>I swear people will forever blame the woman for a man’s shortcomings, and inadequacies. It’s not always the MAN that doesn't want to get married, sometimes it’s the<B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"> Woman. I know because I was in that situation. I was engaged for a few yrs. but I never was really excited about setting a date. Looking back God was trying to warn me. Thank God I was able to dodge the bullet. <O:P></O:P></SPAN>


<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 10pt" ='msonormal=""'><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><O:P><FONT face=Calibri></O:P></SPAN>


<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN: 0in 2.25pt 0.75pt" ='msonormal=""'><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-ansi-: EN" lang=EN>Just because 2 people are engage, or in a relationship doesn’t mean everything is cupcakes, and Starburst. </SPAN><SPAN style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-ansi-: EN" lang=EN>Ultimately people should do what is best for them according to their situation, not society’s standards of how things should be done. <SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN></SPAN><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-SIZE: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>


 




then they shouldn't be parading around pretending to have cupcakes and starbursts. 





 




Gyal who are you talking about? Not everyone does that. I can only speak for myself, and I NEVER pretend like everything was perfect in my relationship. Truth is people change over time, and their true colors start to show over time. Which is when I left him, and haven't looked back since. Smile I dodged a bullet fah real

 


I'm talking about anyone it applies to...wearing the ring in itself is implying things are great...engagements and baby births are supposed to be a joyous time but ppl just like to take the joy out of the good things in life by having both in ratchet situations. People need to just wait until they're ready.
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goodm3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 3:40pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Decorum really alludes many young people nowadays.  I think what I've gotten from this thread is that some people see a marriage proposal as a romantic gesture.  That's just not the case.  Its not a "I would like to marry you some day."  A proposal is a big deal.  Its a formal declaration of  your intent to marry in the immediate future.  If both people are not ready for that, then they should stick to more informal gestures like romantic gifts. 


EXACTLY. 

i seems a lot of women only want to be called wifey rather than having a marriage license. 




When people actually get the proposal they really understand it.......until then its a case of if it was me but it aint you and daydreaming is easy


No shade......

I understand but I think a lot of women never set expectations for their relationships. there are women out there who seriously believe they will not ever get married so when a guy moves in...they think that's as good as it gets. 

Couples that really want to get married, do it. Whether its a court house wedding with a fancy ceremony/destination wedding later...either way, they make it official. 


People aint living together as a relationship step.....mugs just need to split the billsLOL

I would rather be engaged for 100 years before I have a courthouse wedding.....idgaf....judge away.....

girl.....LOL my side eye is heavy on you right now... LOL
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:00pm
hmmm i dont mind a courthouse wedding tbh. a marriage and a wedding are two different things.

my mom and i were just talking about this bc a friend of mine is about to buy a house with his fiance and they have a one year old child. my mom told me that his mom told her that one reason that they haven't gotten married is bc she has a large family and wants to have a huge wedding.

if you have kids while you're engaged give up on your big wedding dreams unless yall both make a good salary bc honestly other things start to take precedent. like why spend 20k on a wedding when u can buy a house?

i was engaged for months but 2-3 years is about my personal max.
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mizzsandra00 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote mizzsandra00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 4:03pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

I don't think there's a too long or too short. Depends on the couple and what they want.

I don't mind long engagements.


You know you're my fave poster.Embarrassed
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