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How long is too long to be engaged?

 
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uppitynegroid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:22am
Decorum really alludes many young people nowadays.  I think what I've gotten from this thread is that some people see a marriage proposal as a romantic gesture.  That's just not the case.  Its not a "I would like to marry you some day."  A proposal is a big deal.  Its a formal declaration of  your intent to marry in the immediate future.  If both people are not ready for that, then they should stick to more informal gestures like romantic gifts. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:23am
For me it's about a year.
I'll get married in the spring so it may be a little over or under a year
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:23am
I thought the commitment ceremony was bad

This is worse

That ring better not be diamond dust


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:26am
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:



I'm speaking of money modern American culture...
That intention of marriage doesn't necessarily have an expiration date.

Especially today when couples are paying more for their own weddings or have a large share in it.
Not only that but women are having children later in age
which was also one reason marriages were rushed.
Things change


None of the reasons you post necessitate being engaged for a long period of time.  If you can't afford the marriage you want, then why are you proposing anything?  Having children later in life has no bearing on how long you are engaged to your husband.  The only thing that has changed is women having less respect for themselves and men ignoring the responsibilities attached to formally proposing marriage to someone.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:35am
Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

I was listening to a discussion about this on the radio the other day.  A woman called in and said she dated a man for 3 yrs, he proposed and they have been living together and engaged for over 2 years.  Every time she brings up wedding planning he becomes elusive and difficult.  Her question was, "How long is too long to be engaged?"

I think she was asking that question a 2 years too late.  I seriously weep for my generation!  The entire point of becoming engaged is to formally announce and plan a wedding.  For the life of me, I don't understand how a woman winds up being someone's fiance for years. 

Thoughts?

I know women who are 30+ and NEVERRRRR been on a real date with a guy. 

that is sad. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:42am
Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Decorum really alludes many young people nowadays.  I think what I've gotten from this thread is that some people see a marriage proposal as a romantic gesture.  That's just not the case.  Its not a "I would like to marry you some day."  A proposal is a big deal.  Its a formal declaration of  your intent to marry in the immediate future.  If both people are not ready for that, then they should stick to more informal gestures like romantic gifts. 


EXACTLY. 

i seems a lot of women only want to be called wifey rather than having a marriage license. 


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mizzsandra00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:42am
Ive been engaged for 2 years.....tbh......wedding planning is stressful and i wanna elope.....I feel like Im not really in a rush.....I have more important things going on.....tbh...a wedding isn't the tope of my list at the moment......but I haven't stop planning.....because the date is set in stone.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:45am
Engagement is an intent to marry.
You're seriously making up the immediate future part bc engagements used to be very lengthy.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote mizzsandra00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:46am
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

Decorum really alludes many young people nowadays.  I think what I've gotten from this thread is that some people see a marriage proposal as a romantic gesture.  That's just not the case.  Its not a "I would like to marry you some day."  A proposal is a big deal.  Its a formal declaration of  your intent to marry in the immediate future.  If both people are not ready for that, then they should stick to more informal gestures like romantic gifts. 


EXACTLY. 

i seems a lot of women only want to be called wifey rather than having a marriage license. 




When people actually get the proposal they really understand it.......until then its a case of if it was me but it aint you and daydreaming is easy


No shade......
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 19 2014 at 11:47am
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


so people shouldn't get engaged until they have saved up enough for their wedding (whatever it cost)?



Don't make an announcement about doing something you are not prepared to do.  If you can't afford the ring, or your contribution to the event within a year then you shouldn't be proposing to anyone.  Like I said, proposal is not a gesture, its an announcement that you are mentally, emotionally, and financially ready to make a marriage happen within a short period of time. 
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