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How do you trust someone who lost your trust?

 
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Mocha_Shay View Drop Down
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    Posted: Dec 18 2013 at 12:58pm

Bby daddi and I are in the process of getting back together. Im not fully commited because he lives with his ex. We stopped talkin because of people and he messed around on me a couple of times. I have a hard time trusting people but with him it was different . I never loved someone genuinely as much as I do with him and he takes really great care of our son. Im not goin to lie I missed him, but I love my son and me more and I didn’t want to put my son in that kind of environment. So I let him know and did everything in my power for him to believe that I did not love him, miss him, or even liked him as a human being. I succeeded. And he moved on back to his ex. Well in that time him and his ex got back together and moved in together. Well things didn’t work out between them so now they are stuck in an apt together. Their lease is up next month.

 

  Its so hard to trust him and try to move on. on Saturday he got robbed but I didn’t know it cause they stole everything he had. So I was sad at first cause I thought something was wrong with him then I was calling him from other ppl numbers and it was still goin straight to vm. So I went by his apartment and keep in mind his ex hasn’t been at their apt for like 2 weeks. And I go there and her car is there and he isn’t answering his phone. I didn’t go to the door cause I was so mad. Come to find out they even stole his apartment key and his car keys (he didn’t even take his car) so he had to call her to get in the apt and he has no keys to get into his car. (No spare key) ..

 

Its like if he doesn’t text me back immediately or within my preference of a time frame then im mad and im thinking the worse. And then he tells me what really happened and his story always matches up and corporates. Like I really love him but im getting older and im working on a secure future. Its like I trust him, but im afraid that we goin to go back down that road?. I want to trust him.. I know he loves me and he know I love him. I just don’t want to ruin the relationship because of my trust issues but they aren’t there for nothing.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 18 2013 at 2:12pm
Originally posted by Mocha_Shay Mocha_Shay wrote:

<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" =Msonormal><FONT face=Calibri>Bby daddi and I are in the process of getting back together. Im not fully commited because he lives with his ex. We stopped talkin because of people and he messed around on me a couple of times. I have a hard time trusting people but with him it was different . I never loved someone genuinely as much as I do with him and he takes really great care of our son. Im not goin to lie I missed him, but I love my son and me more and I didn’t want to put my son in that kind of environment. So I let him know and did everything in my power for him to believe that I did not love him, miss him, or even liked him as a human being. I succeeded. And he moved on back to his ex. Well in that time him and his ex got back together and moved in together. Well things didn’t work out between them so now they are stuck in an apt together. Their lease is up next month.<?: prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>


<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" =Msonormal><o:p><FONT size=3 face=Calibri> </o:p>



<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" =Msonormal><FONT face=Calibri><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Its so hard to trust him and try to move on. on Saturday he got robbed but I didn’t know it cause they stole everything he had. So I was sad at first cause I thought something was wrong with him then I was calling him from other ppl numbers and it was still goin straight to vm. So I went by his apartment and keep in mind his ex hasn’t been at their apt for like 2 weeks. And I go there and her car is there and he isn’t answering his phone. I didn’t go to the door cause I was so mad. Come to find out they even stole his apartment key and his car keys (he didn’t even take his car) so he had to call her to get in the apt and he has no keys to get into his car. (No spare key) .. <o:p></o:p>


<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" =Msonormal><o:p><FONT size=3 face=Calibri> </o:p>


<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" =Msonormal><FONT face=Calibri>Its like if he doesn’t text me back immediately or within my preference of a time frame then im mad and im thinking the worse. And then he tells me what really happened and his story always matches up and corporates. Like I really love him but im getting older and im working on a secure future. Its like I trust him, but im afraid that we goin to go back down that road?. I want to trust him.. I know he loves me and he know I love him. I just don’t want to ruin the relationship because of my trust issues but they aren’t there for nothing. <o:p></o:p>



This - 'Bby daddi and I are in the process of getting back together. Im not fully commited because he lives with his ex. We stopped talkin because of people and he messed around on me a couple of times.'
... was all I needed to read to know you wasting your time on a man that is treating you like a fool.

- he knocked you up
- he knocked up his wife
- he has cheated on the both of you a few times (that you know of) which means he has cheated on you both A LOT - it’s just that you don’t the details
- when you pushed him off - he immediately gets back with the ex
- and when the chips get down after he gets robbed ... first thing he does is get with the ex.

What you are experiencing is not love. You are experiencing neediness, loneliness and desperation and he is experiencing a good old time hopping from bed to bed with of a bunch of equally needy females that would also lay up with a married man. (Probably gonna give you all an STD!)

My advice?

- Stop letting this man make a fool out of you.
- Stop acting like the alleycat in the rain .. looking through the windows watching him with other women and waiting for him to through you some crumbs of love. This guy is unstable and will never have real love for you.
- Stop sleeping around without birth control. It is irresponsible and you will end up with yet another baby by him - who will also be damaged by his abandonment.
- Stop by your HMO and book an appointment to see a THERAPIST so you can discover WHY you have put yourself in this pitiful situation.

Just stop. This situation will never come to a good end!



Edited by Printer_Ink - Dec 18 2013 at 2:14pm
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Mocha_Shay View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mocha_Shay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 18 2013 at 2:32pm

He doesnt have a wife, and has never had a wife, and he doesnt have any kids with her. She's the only person with a key to their apt. But i cant say i know what happened when they both was in their in the house. Im not takin up for him but im just sayin the facts and i never said i wasnt on birth control. I am on birth control. I have it implanted in my arm and i never said i wasnt sleeping with him neither without protection or sleeping around. I can still count on ONE hand how many guys ive slept with at the age of 24. I get what you saying about the lonliness though. Thnx



Edited by Mocha_Shay - Dec 18 2013 at 2:35pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EasterBell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 18 2013 at 3:23pm
I thought you were done with this dude?.. I may have you mixed up with another poster, if I do then my bad.. Anyways, as long as he is in that apt with his ex, you probably won't be able to trust him in my opinion.. If you want to reconcile after that type of past, then you need to realize that trust is not going to come over night.. It will take lots of time.. Yes, you are going to be insecure and suspicious of this guy because he has broken your trust..HOWEVER, I don't feel this dude is being genuine with you and he may be playing on your emotions.. I would probably just end whatever y'all doing for right now and wait until he moves out of that apartment..Take the time to truly evaluate if being with this dude is really what you want.. If it is, then realize you got a long road ahead of you..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mocha_Shay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 18 2013 at 3:41pm
Originally posted by EasterBell EasterBell wrote:

I thought you were done with this dude?.. I may have you mixed up with another poster, if I do then my bad.. Anyways, as long as he is in that apt with his ex, you probably won't be able to trust him in my opinion.. If you want to reconcile after that type of past, then you need to realize that trust is not going to come over night.. It will take lots of time.. Yes, you are going to be insecure and suspicious of this guy because he has broken your trust..HOWEVER, I don't feel this dude is being genuine with you and he may be playing on your emotions.. I would probably just end whatever y'all doing for right now and wait until he moves out of that apartment..Take the time to truly evaluate if being with this dude is really what you want.. If it is, then realize you got a long road ahead of you..
 
yeah thats what i said. thats why im not commiting to him. cause i cant be with him while he's living with someone else. he moves out next month. so thats enough time to think about it. I really hope that it can work though cause when we togther we have an amazing time.  i feel so comfortable with him not to mention we have a child togther. The only thing is, if the road is goin to be worth traveling? i just hate waisting my time on something. but i guess i'll never know if i never try.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 18 2013 at 3:53pm
You can't trust someone who lost your trust.
I speak from experience.

And your story has too much drama. I pity him for his situation (house robbed, can't even get inside his own house!), but as soon as you bounced, he picked up another woman. It is time for you to move on.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 18 2013 at 4:27pm
This guy is a loser that is using you. Your self-esteem is just too low to realize that you can do better.

You will never be able to trust him. Get s clue.

Move on.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Mocha_Shay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 18 2013 at 4:47pm

yup, you guys are right. I can do better. Im just lonely and he is a quick fix. although i really love him, utimately its not goin to work and im goin to be waisting my time on someone who doesnt love me the way i know i deserve to be better.

 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 18 2013 at 6:50pm
Any man that goes from one relationship directly into the next gets a cold side eye. He sounds like he can't support himself and needs a crutch (women) in order to maintain. Tell him to get his own place, get himself together, be a good father to your son and then ya'll can see what's up in a good two or three years. If he is trying to do right by you and isn't about playing on your emotions..he will step up and in two to three years he won't have any drama and be ready to be committed to you. Observe and watch. Don't get involved with him intimately during this time neither. He'll show you a lot in that time maybe sooner and you will have your answer. Snap out of your emotions and get your mind right. Your son is number 1 priority right now. But don't let that baby be an excuse to get back with his father. 

P.S. I call shullbit on his stories lol Stop acting so concerned about him...



Edited by khivey - Dec 18 2013 at 6:51pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2013 at 7:08pm
lol printer be brakin it down.

you don't love him. you love what u hope he could be.
you feel so comfortable with him but u dunno if u can trust him?

errrr.....



do u even love yourself? sounds like u don't at all cuz u wouldn't be puttin yourself through this nonsense if u did. there's a red flag in almost every sentence u said.

you can't be with somebody you can't trust..u really wanna ad that extra stress on yourself ever time he walks out the door?

they say when one door closes another one opens.. that's cuz u suppose to go fowards not backwards. you setting yourself up.

you only need one person that's your son. keep it moving.

don't be nobodys fool TWICE.

Edited by Twisted_Angel - Dec 19 2013 at 7:34pm
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