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How do you stop loving someone?

 
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aNgElIc*SoUl View Drop Down
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    Posted: Nov 08 2010 at 11:11pm
No matter what I do, I can't stop loving my ex, even when he keeps hurting me. I know it only hurts because I love him, so how do I stop? Or do all first loves hurt this much? I just want to stop hurting.
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mangachan View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mangachan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 09 2010 at 10:46am
Originally posted by aNgElIc*SoUl aNgElIc*SoUl wrote:

No matter what I do, I can't stop loving my ex, even when he keeps hurting me. I know it only hurts because I love him, so how do I stop? Or do all first loves hurt this much? I just want to stop hurting.


First of all, are you saved?  If so how do you know that you are?  Where are you on your walk?  I hope you aren't offended by my asking but I just want to see where you're coming from.Smile
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ChrANGist View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ChrANGist Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 09 2010 at 4:47pm

I'm just curious as to how long it has been?. First loves are difficult to get over. The hurt of a first love is a maturing and essentual experience in life. It  builds character if you correctly overcome. People hurt and heal differently angel. Some people love deeper than others. God heals some pain/hurt instantly and some pain is healed over time.  Advice: you are wounded and if you continue to allow the person to put salt in your wounds it will be difficult to heal. You cannot keep exposing the wound. This is done sometimes by continuing to accept phone calls, texts, voicemails etc. This includes meeting him for brief periods of time  or being at his becking call. You have to cleanse yourself from the situation. You may have to do things like not talk to him, change routes you drive. Avoid seeing him as much as you can. Don't go to resturants where you have eaten together. If you are still showing up at places where you know he will be, it only adds hurt. Some people don't need to take such exteme measures but you sound like you do.(Sorry if I'm wrong) Keep yourself busy. Time really does heal wounds. As you grow and learn you will actually figure out you can speed up the process. If you find yourself in the same state and not making progress after awhile. Seek spritual counseling.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 26 2014 at 6:06pm
In cases like that, first you have to want to get rid of the feeling. There is no point in asking God to get rid of this problem if you secretly wishes to get back with the person. If you know that this feeling is just eating you inside, that the relationship is over (or should be over) and you know that continuing to think of someone or thinking of remaining in a relationship that clearly is not good anymore, THEN it is time to pray to God about it.

First, thank God for your day, for all that has been good in your life (Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice" - Philipians 4:4).
Have a talk with God. Then, ask God to remove this emotional attachment that you have. We own nothing in this world, we came to this world with nothing and we will leave without taking anything with us, so any attachment that you have, be it for a person or material things, should be removed.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote iluvmihair Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 26 2014 at 7:53pm
It would help to know where you are in your walkSmile. I co sign with the other ladies. 

Pray that God breaks the soul tie that you have with him (Have you heard of soul ties? I think it is only if you have been sexually intimate because the Word says that ties you guys together as one. I can get more details if you would like.)

 Also pray for God to take away the desire for the man. Keep saying that you are over him and you forgive him and you have no emotions for him (you will have what you say!) and then ask God to bless the statement to be true. 

For example, I was really upset with someone I felt had did me soo dirty. I know that unforgiveness is not of God, so I would say "I forgive that person and I do not feel any type of negative way towards that person." and then I would say "God search my heart and if what I'm saying is not true, please help to make it true." It took a while, but I'm there now. 

A promise is a promise and God will come through for you IF you sincerely seek Him. Love you and praying for you sister in Christ!
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KimilyLee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KimilyLee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 03 2014 at 9:53pm
It needs long time to forget.
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 18 2014 at 12:44am
Well, this old thread has some info about breaking soul ties, which I think it is the same thing as letting go of someone:

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Soul Ties
    Posted: 26 Nov 2007 at 5:22pm
Has anyone suffered from an ungodly soul tie and over came it?  I have read info on the net about soul ties, but I am looking to hear someone's testimony. 
 
Please feel free to post any helpful scriptures (if you know of any).
 
 
Thanks!
-t~

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Nov 2007 at 4:53am
I've recently been delivered from a soul tie. It took me 5 months. i had to literally drown myself in the word to focus on the better plan that God has for me. It took awhile, but I had to change the topic every time he came across my mind.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Nov 2007 at 7:06am
I was like that with a relationship that officially ended last December.  I felt like God kept telling me to stay with him because he needed me, even though he was clearly not being a good man to me.  I think that it had been over for months before it officially ended.  I just kept feeling so attached and it was sickening.  I lost myself in it all.  Well, when I woke up from this mess I felt like I was released.  I actually felt joy in my heart again where it had been filled with darkness, bitterness, thoughts of vengance, pain, disgust, etc.  Anyway.  One night, I just got mad and I had it out with God.  I told him that I really wasn't strong enough to get myself out of this mess and I explained to him that I thought the devil had used this man I was in love with, to hurt me and break my spirit.  Girl,  cried, and balled all night.  I went back and forth with God, hollaring and carrying on.  ((BTW, God appreciates this honesty from us so don't think I was being disrespectful to God)).  I finally cried myself to sleep and the next day I didn't have that sense of urgency to call this man.  I didn't want to check to see if he was out creaping.  I really didn't care.  I felt a weight of a thousand broken hearts lifted off me.  I turned back into myself.  I started taking care of myself again instead of keeping vigilance on this man.  God is so good for delivering my from that mess.  And you know the sad part about it is that the man wasn't keeping me tied to him.  I was! I hope this helps you because I hate to see anyone go through this.  It is like you become a shell of yourself when you are soultied like that. 
 
 
Can anyone find some examples of being soul-tied from the Bible?  It might be helpful.


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Nov 2007 at 11:08am
I have been delivered from soul ties in the past.Here is a helpful site that another member posted before

www.soulties.org


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Edited by sexyandfamous - May 18 2014 at 12:46am
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