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How do you make it work?

 
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:49pm
You can get happiness from making your spouse happy 

Compromise doesn't have to mean losing 
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JasmineE02 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote JasmineE02 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:49pm
Another person is never going to be able to satisfy all of your needs all of the time.  You have to compromise.  And people do change.  I used to need a lot more attention and validation than I do now.  It takes A LOT of pressure off of my husband and we're happier.  He can  also be pretty self absorbed, but it was much worse early in the relationship.  He tries to remember to think about my feelings and the mere act of him trying is more important than him consistently remembering to do it.  I could have easily found someone who was more on the same page of telling me how amazing I am, but I guarantee there would have been some other issue to tackle. 

There are some definite deal-breakers out there, but a lot of things are not so hard to overcome if you're willing to make the effort.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote nycdiva357 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:52pm
you've both been thanked.

in a compromise.. everybody gets a little something.. there is no need to be unhappy.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:54pm
Originally posted by nimkola nimkola wrote:

I totally read that as 'abcd' lol

Nimkola, keep throwing around alphabet signs and end up getting e-stabbed like that deaf man.LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rumbera Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:56pm
My dh is a groper, he like to touch me all the damn time. It can be quite annoying especially when I am trying to cook or do anything that involves balance.  And he likes for the to be all touchy feely on him as well.
 
Me I am not the touchy feely tight at all. It get on my nerves alot of the time but I know that he needs that connection. So I have to make an effort not to push him away or he give him that please stop look..
 
LOL
 
So, yeah you have to compromise in a marriage. I can be annoying as heck too.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:56pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

You can get happiness from making your spouse happy 

Compromise doesn't have to mean losing 


you can get happiness from making other people happy. point.blank.period. doesn't even have to be your spouse.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote BeatriceBean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:57pm
Originally posted by JasmineE02 JasmineE02 wrote:

Another person is never going to be able to satisfy all of your needs all of the time.  You have to compromise.  And people do change.  I used to need a lot more attention and validation than I do now.  It takes A LOT of pressure off of my husband and we're happier.  He can  also be pretty self absorbed, but it was much worse early in the relationship.  He tries to remember to think about my feelings and the mere act of him trying is more important than him consistently remembering to do it.  I could have easily found someone who was more on the same page of telling me how amazing I am, but I guarantee there would have been some other issue to tackle. 

There are some definite deal-breakers out there, but a lot of things are not so hard to overcome if you're willing to make the effort.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GoodGirlGoneGr8 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:58pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:



Derrick POV:

-I need a woman who doesn't recoil when I touch her
-I was hoping it would change when we got married, I thought there was something I could do that would make her more into me-or that i wasn't giving her what she needed
-She can be so cold and distant and makes it feel like its my fault
-I think the weight thing is an easy excuse. A couple years ago I trained for a marathon and got in good shape and she was just as affectionate.
-When Im away on business its confusing because she says sweet things over the phone but when I come home shes completely indifferent again
-When I bring it up she avoids the topic



Why do ppl think marriage will flip some light switch in their spouses head to suddenly change their ways?

They both knew about each others ways prior to getting married and they still decided to proceed...she seems reluctant to change. If she hasn't changed thus far, I don't see much hope for the future. Either deal with it or divorce it.

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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 1:09pm
My husband had a tendency to touch me any ole where, anywhere, in front of anybody when the feeling took him and he loves pda

Now he just won't do that and when we're home, I don't wear clothes (tmi) ... I can't say when the compromise happened and we've never discussed it in a formal convo, that I remember 

And tbh, im not touchy feely except with him and to a lesser extent my family.  My coworkers know not to touch me but if I saw one that needed a hug or a kind word I wouldn't hesitate.

That's thanks to my husband
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iGotSunshine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 1:10pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

My husband had a tendency to touch me any ole where, anywhere, in front of anybody when the feeling took him and he loves pda

Now he just won't do that and when we're home, I don't wear clothes (tmi) ... I can't say when the compromise happened and we've never discussed it in a formal convo, that I remember 

And tbh, im not touchy feely except with him and to a lesser extent my family.  My coworkers know not to touch me but if I saw one that needed a hug or a kind word I wouldn't hesitate.

That's thanks to my husband
 
that sounds fun lol 
i would wear little booty shorts with heels tho. 
i dont like being allaway naked 
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