How do you make it work?

Another person is never going to be able to satisfy all of your needs all of the time.  You have to compromise.  And people do change.  I used to need a lot more attention and validation than I do now.  It takes A LOT of pressure off of my husband and we're happier.  He can  also be pretty self absorbed, but it was much worse early in the relationship.  He tries to remember to think about my feelings and the mere act of him trying is more important than him consistently remembering to do it.  I could have easily found someone who was more on the same page of telling me how amazing I am, but I guarantee there would have been some other issue to tackle. 

There are some definite deal-breakers out there, but a lot of things are not so hard to overcome if you're willing to make the effort.

nimkola wrote:

I totally read that as 'abcd' lol

Nimkola, keep throwing around alphabet signs and end up getting e-stabbed like that deaf man.

rickysrose wrote: You can get happiness from making your spouse happy  Compromise doesn't have to mean losing

Gkisses wrote: Derrick POV: -I need a woman who doesn't recoil when I touch her -I was hoping it would change when we got married, I thought there was something I could do that would make her more into me-or that i wasn't giving her what she needed -She can be so cold and distant and makes it feel like its my fault -I think the weight thing is an easy excuse. A couple years ago I trained for a marathon and got in good shape and she was just as affectionate. -When Im away on business its confusing because she says sweet things over the phone but when I come home shes completely indifferent again -When I bring it up she avoids the topic

Why do ppl think marriage will flip some light switch in their spouses head to suddenly change their ways?

They both knew about each others ways prior to getting married and they still decided to proceed...she seems reluctant to change. If she hasn't changed thus far, I don't see much hope for the future. Either deal with it or divorce it.

rickysrose wrote: My husband had a tendency to touch me any ole where, anywhere, in front of anybody when the feeling took him and he loves pda Now he just won't do that and when we're home, I don't wear clothes (tmi) ... I can't say when the compromise happened and we've never discussed it in a formal convo, that I remember  And tbh, im not touchy feely except with him and to a lesser extent my family.  My coworkers know not to touch me but if I saw one that needed a hug or a kind word I wouldn't hesitate. That's thanks to my husband