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How do you make it work?

 
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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:41am
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:


Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


you don't become more affectionate (and mean it) over night


True, but
15 yrs is a long time...and i say if you see yourself repeatedly losing people who loved you dearly, and are unable to maintain any healthy relationship, then you need to put in the work to fix yourself



I agree
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OoDles O View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote OoDles O Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:56am
Sounds like she only gets hot and interested when the brotha aint around.

Maybe he should rub it out more ,pause, Develop some outside activities that he's passionate about (maybe something involving the kids ) and just do him for a bit... while talking about how much fun it is.

idunno.
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Jess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:24am
Is the wife physically and emotionally faithful to him?Geek
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote nycdiva357 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:34am
 this thread is kinda disgusting--
when I think about all the other bhm threads where ppl talk about how marriages of today aren't shyt--
and how marriages of the past were great-- thats why they last so long.

it would be a different case if she was trying-- and they weren't getting anywhere- but she is not.

yet a lot of ppl are screaming divorce.

what happened to ppl compromising and meeting half way?

like I can't imagine being the lady that when asked why I am divorced.. my response is "well I couldn't attempt to hug him more"
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goodm3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:45am
Originally posted by Gannon Gannon wrote:

Sounds like she linked up/married him for reasons other than genuine chemistry.  

THIS.

you'd be surprised a how many women get married because there's a "guy with a ring"...

the women in OP's might have just been ready for a family...and he was the guy with a ring. to some women "who" there husband is really doesn't matter...just as long as his resume, height, and income align with what's in their heads of a 'perfect spouse'.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:56am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

again--embarrassing that you're considering divorce bc you won't hug a nig.g.a and say you want him to leave you alone and yet YOU turn into the clingy pressed one when he does. get your mind right and get your ish together.
most people who cheat tend to do this
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:57am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

again--embarrassing that you're considering divorce bc you won't hug a nig.g.a and say you want him to leave you alone and yet YOU turn into the clingy pressed one when he does. get your mind right and get your ish together.
most people who cheat tend to do this


hmmmhmmm
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iGotSunshine View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iGotSunshine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:02pm
Originally posted by nycdiva357 nycdiva357 wrote:

 this thread is kinda disgusting--
when I think about all the other bhm threads where ppl talk about how marriages of today aren't shyt--
and how marriages of the past were great-- thats why they last so long.

it would be a different case if she was trying-- and they weren't getting anywhere- but she is not.

yet a lot of ppl are screaming divorce.

what happened to ppl compromising and meeting half way?

like I can't imagine being the lady that when asked why I am divorced.. my response is "well I couldn't attempt to hug him more"
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:09pm
It's clearly really difficult for people to even try to see this from another perspective. Maybe because in some ways it requires one to question the accepted norms for romantic relationship/marriage?

Everyone doesn't interact the same way. Just like some people can have sex once a season and be totally happy and others need to do it every day...that's just who they are and neither person is wrong or bad for being that way. And neither should they change. There really is no compromise when it comes to something like that because one person is going to be fundamentally unhappy.
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nimkola View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nimkola Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 12:11pm
Eh, I'm not really affectionate. Like I can hug people but long periods of cuddling bores me. I don't not like it though, there's just a limit. And I'd prefer to do it when I'm falling asleep or watching t.v. or something like that, otherwise it's like "Ermm go somewhere"
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