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How do you make it work?

 
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ThoughtCouture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:36am
i assumed she was recoiling because she was annoyed...like here you go with the touchy feely AGAIN...lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rumbera Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:37am
They need counseling.
 
He wasn't fat prior to marriage and she was the same way.Also, he knew that she wasn't that affectionate and still married her.
 
Did he make this known prior to marriage ? Or was she more affectionate then ? So many questions
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Wildfire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:37am
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


you don't become more affectionate (and mean it) over night


True, but
15 yrs is a long time...and i say if you see yourself repeatedly losing people who loved you dearly, and are unable to maintain any healthy relationship, then you need to put in the work to fix yourself

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:38am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by freedom76 freedom76 wrote:

DH is much more affectionate than I am. He is also in need of more physical closeness ( I am not talking sexually). I can't really even walk past him without getting groped...and I mean groped. I love him to death, but it can get annoying at times. For him, it is how he shows affection, while I am more of a verbal person. Some times he really can go overboard, and I have to let him know. It does bother him when I do. BUT, he gets it. The same goes for me as well. I need more verbal stimulation. This is something I have to bring to his attention. It is a balancing act. I think they can work with some really deep understanding of their differences. Each will have to compromise. If the love is there, then the should be willing to put in the work.


and this is what love is.  nobody is 100% compatible in every sense of the word.  we all do things that maybe are not natural to us/might find annoying a little bit bc the other person enjoys it.



maybe this is part of the problem .. focused too much on what is good for me, comfortable for me, rather than what's good for your spouse, what' comfortable for them

both can't concentrate on one person, but it works if both worry about each other


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote OoDles O Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:56am
Sounds like she only gets hot and interested when the brotha aint around.

Maybe he should rub it out more ,pause, Develop some outside activities that he's passionate about (maybe something involving the kids ) and just do him for a bit... while talking about how much fun it is.

idunno.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:24am
Is the wife physically and emotionally faithful to him?Geek
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote nycdiva357 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:34am
 this thread is kinda disgusting--
when I think about all the other bhm threads where ppl talk about how marriages of today aren't shyt--
and how marriages of the past were great-- thats why they last so long.

it would be a different case if she was trying-- and they weren't getting anywhere- but she is not.

yet a lot of ppl are screaming divorce.

what happened to ppl compromising and meeting half way?

like I can't imagine being the lady that when asked why I am divorced.. my response is "well I couldn't attempt to hug him more"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:45am
Originally posted by Gannon Gannon wrote:

Sounds like she linked up/married him for reasons other than genuine chemistry.  

THIS.

you'd be surprised a how many women get married because there's a "guy with a ring"...

the women in OP's might have just been ready for a family...and he was the guy with a ring. to some women "who" there husband is really doesn't matter...just as long as his resume, height, and income align with what's in their heads of a 'perfect spouse'.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:56am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

again--embarrassing that you're considering divorce bc you won't hug a nig.g.a and say you want him to leave you alone and yet YOU turn into the clingy pressed one when he does. get your mind right and get your ish together.
most people who cheat tend to do this
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 11:57am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

again--embarrassing that you're considering divorce bc you won't hug a nig.g.a and say you want him to leave you alone and yet YOU turn into the clingy pressed one when he does. get your mind right and get your ish together.
most people who cheat tend to do this


hmmmhmmm
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