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How do you make it work?

 
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ThoughtCouture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:32am
she can work on it.  but she will need to get to the root cause of her issues...
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:33am
i would hope it wouldn't take 15 years though
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:33am
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


you don't become more affectionate (and mean it) over night
 
she needs intense therapy...imo.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:34am
it is not natural to RECOIL from the touch of your mate.  that is such a strong term and evokes much more than just mere avoidance. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:36am
i assumed she was recoiling because she was annoyed...like here you go with the touchy feely AGAIN...lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:37am

I don't think the recoil is coming from a good place lol

I did that to a friend once, felt horrible after though

she just laughed it off

but in my defense she she standing to the side of me so I didn't know who was touching me
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rumbera Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:37am
They need counseling.
 
He wasn't fat prior to marriage and she was the same way.Also, he knew that she wasn't that affectionate and still married her.
 
Did he make this known prior to marriage ? Or was she more affectionate then ? So many questions
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Wildfire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:37am
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


you don't become more affectionate (and mean it) over night


True, but
15 yrs is a long time...and i say if you see yourself repeatedly losing people who loved you dearly, and are unable to maintain any healthy relationship, then you need to put in the work to fix yourself

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:38am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by freedom76 freedom76 wrote:

DH is much more affectionate than I am. He is also in need of more physical closeness ( I am not talking sexually). I can't really even walk past him without getting groped...and I mean groped. I love him to death, but it can get annoying at times. For him, it is how he shows affection, while I am more of a verbal person. Some times he really can go overboard, and I have to let him know. It does bother him when I do. BUT, he gets it. The same goes for me as well. I need more verbal stimulation. This is something I have to bring to his attention. It is a balancing act. I think they can work with some really deep understanding of their differences. Each will have to compromise. If the love is there, then the should be willing to put in the work.


and this is what love is.  nobody is 100% compatible in every sense of the word.  we all do things that maybe are not natural to us/might find annoying a little bit bc the other person enjoys it.



maybe this is part of the problem .. focused too much on what is good for me, comfortable for me, rather than what's good for your spouse, what' comfortable for them

both can't concentrate on one person, but it works if both worry about each other


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 14 2013 at 10:38am
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

i assumed she was recoiling because she was annoyed...like here you go with the touchy feely AGAIN...lol


lmao yes

It could be when she is her coldest he lays it on extra thick
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